Funnies

[Spock]

 

[Spock]

 

[Jimmy1]

 

[Sarg]

First time I met my next door neighbor lady, I stretched out my hand to shake her's and she refused to take it! She said, "I've waved at you several times passing you on the street and you never waved back", did a 180 and walked away. I was speechless. How do you explain a PTSD, traffic anal, ready for anything driver who's attention is riveted on what's going on a quarter of a mile up the way, is not likely to see a little old lady waving as she passes by?

I think I'm back on her good side as I clear the snow away from their sidewalk.

Sarg

 

[Spock]

 

[Spock]

LOL! All hail Xenu...

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/hows-he-doing/n42645/

 

[Spock]

 

[Jimmy1]

 

[Spock]

for Bar "Polyticks"

 

[Spock]

 

[Barberian]

An old German Shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old German Shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep shit now!"

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old German Shepherd exclaims loudly,

"Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?"

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

"Whew!," says the panther, "That was close! That old German Shepherd nearly had me!"

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!"

Now, the old German Shepherd sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old German Shepherd says...

"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!"

Moral of this story...

Don't mess with the old dogs.. Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
Bull Shit and brilliance only come with age and experience.

 

[Raven]

Calling all squids.

Link Removed

(If I had joined the Navy, I would have gotten a Donald tattoo. A lot of Sailors get Popeye-related ink, but Donald is so awesome!)