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Getting A Service Dog.

Yay!!! One tough motherf*cker, you! Good on. 😎

So damn glad to hear you’re on the right side of the ground, and that the agency was able to swoop in and get K… begrudgingly or enthusiastically, they got their butts out there… she must’ave been outta her little wiggle-body mind with worry. Bet she’s driving you half crazy, now that you both are home.

With less of an emergency on, can the hospital accomidate her for the next round? Or is this just a short break together to reassure you both?

Wellest Soonest.
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I start therapy soon - not the talking kind.

I am in a bad, bad place. I am supposed to be trying to get as 'fit and well' as possible. Instead my head is behaving like a b*tch and I am very depressed.

I am finding this all very hard. Too hard. No options though.

They say they will 'take the best care of me'.... somehow to an ultra independent person that sounds ominous.

They say that it will 'likely come back, very soon'. Actually, they are not convinced it has even gone for now.

Not sure how to look over my shoulder for another diagnosis like the last and keep living?

I have been given all these phone numbers, links etc to 'groups' who will understand. Hmm.. not into groups. Highly introverted, too much so - at least for groups.

I am so, so sad..
That sounds awful!!!

The idea of giving someone a bunch of phone numbers....... Seems like a very stupid idea. I'm sure I'd be feeling the same way. WAY too overwhelmed to deal with it. (Probably too overwhelmed to deal with anything else too.) I get the ultra-independent thing too. My T calls it "anti-dependent". It's hard to turn any aspect of your life over to someone else. But sometimes it's the best thing to do and it can totally work out and be a huge relief if you're dealing with the right people. For a start, is there anyone you can turn the job of seeking out "support groups" too? I suspect being able to talk to people who DO get your situation could be helpful. It's sure one of the best things about this web site.

Thinking of you and wishing I could do WAY more than that!
Tomorrow is D day. I go to the physician to see if all my bloods and scans are okay to embark on the next round.

I have been having severe chest pain. It's not cardiac or stress. It's nerves that got so messed up in surgery that they have just now decided they will scream at me. Last week I was certain something was seriously wrong, I mean the worst.

But the surgeon rang me and told me that this can and does happen, and he was confident it was neuropathic not something more sinister. So I am hanging on till tomorrow so they can give me something much bigger to deal with the pain because I didn't want to leave my home to go get anything - fear of Covid and flu ruled that out.

Have tried to return to work but even one day, working from home - immune compromised - but already it is all tumbling down. I am exhausted and yet, sleep eludes me. I have spent the afternoon crying on and off. I want my life back. I don't know what happened to me.

All my hospital admissions are set up but they don't know much more. I feel like I am walking into another nightmare.

I haven't told my family so they are getting angry with me for not going to help out elderly relatives - like for four months! I am offering no explanations... I rarely ring.

They all 'forgot' my birthday this year so they think I am still angry and upset with them over that. And I am because I may not make it to my next and how ironic would that be. Ironic, because when the phone stayed silent and the day went away I thought of all the times when I just assumed I would see the sun rise tomorrow, all the times I wanted to be dead, all the things I have taken for granted.

If I am super duper lucky I will make five years. That's the top tier of success and T asked me what the next five years would look like for me. I don't know. Suddenly, every day seems too short and I am doing a lot of thinking that my life is now almost over, almost done and what have I done? What do I have to show for creating a shadow on this earth for so long? Nothing - not much, very little. does it have to be big and known to be important? Idk... I feel frail and sad and I watch the young now, strong, vital, confident that nothing much can fell them. I was like them once.
Oh b, my heart and thoughts go out to you. This all sounds so much to deal with. Crossing my fingers tomorrow goes as well as it can, and you get the care you need from good doctors.
What do I have to show for creating a shadow on this earth for so long? Nothing - not much, very little. does it have to be big and known to be important?
Those are questions I think everyone should consider. Personally, I don't think it has to be anything big, flashy, or famous to matter. How you treat others affects their lives and I think that matters. How you treat the larger world, for that matter, changes things and trying to make those changes positive matters. Your interactions with us, here, matter and I, for one, have benefited from you being here.
I haven't told my family
What are you thinking about that situation? I don't think you owe it to them to tell them necessarily, but would it help at all if they knew?
Crossing my fingers tomorrow goes as well as it can,
Me too!
Oh hun... 🫂

What do I have to show for creating a shadow on this earth for so long? Nothing - not much, very little. does it have to be big and known to be important?

I think we all ask this question, and not sure if there is ever a "good" answer. But I will say that your shadow has gotten me thru some really rough patches and I'm guessing others here say the same. You may not be big and known, but that doesn't mean you haven't done anything with your life.

Because you are important to me.