Getting Criticized

[Bordo66]

Hey does any1 els has problem with critics? Whenever I get feedback after a Futsal match and I get feedback that I wasn't sharp (I know I wasn't sharp and I know that i sucked that match) or played bad. I always take it personal even though I know exactly what they are talking about.

It sucks so bad because I always just want to start getting pissed and go beserk!:(

 

[Heather]

You should meet my mother:p her tongue is forked!. Seriously though, no one likes to be criticized. You need to figure out why it is affecting you the way it does. I think also once you develop a better self-image then what other people say/think about you won't matter so much. That comes with practice/therapy and I think with age too.

This is a kind of lame example but it gets the pt across:

A few weeks ago my daughter and I were in a store and I was wearing these boots and they kepts getting pebbles in them (very annoying). So, I kept stopping and taking off the boots and whacking them against the shopping cart to get the pebbles out. Well, I wasn't wearing any socks and I guess people were turning around to look at what I was doing. I didn't notice, couldn't have cared less but my 7 y/o was like, "mom people are looking at you!"

I've gotten to the point in my life 38 where certain things just don't bother me anymore. Probably 10 years ago I'd never had dreamed of doing that. Where my daughter was horrified.

I hope this makes sense and helps. Heather

 

[Bordo66]

I understand your story, I know I have to develop a good self image but I think it goes diffecult with the lack of confidence is going to be hard. I can't say like I'm me and this is what I am. (no idea what that last line is about but it might the ''I have not have any sleep yet but have to go to the dentist in a moment'' starting to work in :D

 

[Srain]

I was going to post on this but a bit differently. I was talking with my tdoc about this and how most criticism I can take but there have always been those "buttons", as I like to call them, that start those old tapes. Like the jerk across the street that I had a run-in with who had a million things he could have insulted me with (trust me, I was a walking billboard for "what not to wear" during that front off) but he chose to attack my weight and I don't mean calling me fat! It was bizarre and it set me off in old ways but interesting enough it was the opposite of what I have been called in the past but my reaction was exactly the same. Red flag for understanding it doesn't matter words it's the core issue at hand.

I have also notice that I feel much the same with POSITIVE acknowledgement. I am uncomfortable, try to blow it off, nit-pick it, look for deceit, motives, traps, how comes, until I just feel so much pressure to preform even higher that I fall into deep depression. I have a very difficult time with both. It makes me very very sad about myself and I just want to unplug, isolate, and disappear. I am embarrassed about it.

Sorry, got off point. Your post just caught my eye as I was going to post or log off. I appreciate your doing so, it's difficult to experience criticism and to me there seems to be an origin there other than what is occurring currently, I might look for it. Just a thought.

Rain