Getting Letters.

[mamachick]

Rehashing takes a lot of energy. I am not willing to deplete my energy for those who have hurt me.

 

[Oberons Wife]

I tried to 'talk through' some things with my family; an abuser and others who enabled the abuse, and those who turned a blind I. I was continually undermined and told I was wrong. My memories were wrong, my interpretation of events were wrong, overall, in their company I'm simply all wrong. Out of their company, life is bearable. There are even some joyful moments. So after many years of trying to be a good daughter and sister, I have completely given up. I no longer have any contact at all with my mother and minimal with my siblings. This is the best thing for me.

My mother has tried to re-install contact. I am sticking to my guns. This way I may create the space I need to heal.

 

[Ramsey]

It's going well so far. What's not going well is that now it's out in the open with a mutual friend, which is not going so well. I don't know what's going on. I don't know why it's "irrational" to go to the police when someone tells you they've been killing people. (I haven't talked about what's given me PTSD, but that was the start of it.)

I feel really sick right now. This mutual friend is supposed to be my best friend. And now I feel like I'm losing her. I don't know if this person is feeding her more lies or what, but all I'm getting is coldness from her. After all this time I'm still being singled out as the crazy one.

 

[Oberons Wife]

I was made to feel embarrassed going to ask the police for help. It turned out the guy I was concerned about had killed a child and served 8 years for manslaughter. And my child had 'taken his fancy'.
Try to have courage. The police are there for you, if you are concerned report your concerns to them. It does feel as if some people simple can't cope with friends experiencing trauma. I know to my shame that I closed down a conversation with my sister, when she was probably trying to tell me what had been happening to her.
I'm new to the forum, but it feels wonderful: I normally feel 'out of kilter with the world' but here, I can just be me.
You have friends here.

 

[Ramsey]

I can't stop crying. There are so many good things happening in my life right now. The correspondance with the person is going so well. But I can't stand losing my best friend. I can't stand this. We're on "hiatus" now. I feel so goddamn alone. Again.

 

[Zipperhead]

Ramsey,, if you need to confront this person, then write your letters. But make sure you know what your goal is. They hurt you once. Don't give them another chance. Confront them, get what you need and move on.

As far as your friend goes, it's hard to give advice when I really don't know the storey. If she's still there when your done your journey, great. If not, she wasn't really a friend, was she?

 

[Ramsey]

You're right. I just need to let this play out how it will. I'll deal with it, whatever "it" is, when this is all over.

 

[AngelKeeperJ]

I've got to agree with the Bear. If the other person is not saying they want to appologise, confronting them is unlikely to give you any closure. And to give them the chance to open old wounds isn't going to help. Unless you feel the need to confront them, I wouldn't do it. And if you do have that need, bring along help.

Agree 100%!

The sooner you cut that person out of your life the better! They will never understand, or it wouldn't have happened in the first place, nor would you have to explain anything. An explanation will drag on, but not change the outcome!

I wish you the BEST, because it is HARD to make a clean break. It's hurts less in the long run..I PROMISE!!