First off, fantastic attitude; if I can't get help professionally, what can I do for myself? & Where else can I look, for a life preserver to help keep afloat until I can find a boat, something to help keep me afloat... is exactly the ticket. And it will help see you through with professionals as well. Ultimately, whether we have help or not, we're our own best resource. ((Not as scary as that sounds ;))). The willingness to keep getting back up after being knocked down, and to keep trying to figure out ways through? Invaluable.
Secondly, 15 therapists is a good start, and can be overwhelming as blazes, but as you've just found it really is only a start. Last year I worked my way through apx 200 local trauma therapists in my city. About a dozen of them (claimed to have) experience in my area of especial f*cked-upped-ness. Come to find none of them really did, so I stretched my parameters to about 5 hours distance and found a few who actually did have experience. Coming back to it again this year, I found a few avenues I hadn't explored -or even thought to explore- last year. So this whole thing of finding someone? Even in a big city, can be a serious exercise in frustration. How do we eat the elephant, though? One bite at a time. Finding someone, figuring out payment, all of it -unless you just get lucky out the gate- can be a helluva process. That's nothing wrong with you, that's just the process.
May your search be short & highly successful.
