Giving Up On Finding Treatment

[raven123]

Even when I had money and great insurance I had really sh*tty shrinks who just ripped me off for money. I know I have PTSD, DID and Bipolar. The rest I have no clue. I see myself in some disorders, but I have no way to fix me and even know what's really wrong. Fixing my thyroid got rid of a lot of my anxieties. That's good. I'm also not reading any more poor attempts at self-help books. Let's face it, few are worth a sh*t and even less are worth buying. And 99% don't give many secrets except find a shrink. LOL I'd really love to tell quit a few "authors" where they can shove their books.

I've pretty much figured getting a therapist to even talk to me once is not gonna happen. One really nice person on her offered to pay for 4 sessions and the shrink, only one closely qualified, refused because she said I needed 2 years of therapy with her. I wouldn't benefit from 4 sessions. I was pretty bad at the time pretty much, hid it and got a f*ck you from a supposed shrink. I've got no money for it or insurance. I take that refusal and couldn't give a shit attitude on this waste of flesh, the shrink not me, as the psychiatry profession is a crock of shit not really interested in helping anyone but themselves to your cash, lots of you cash. So, no offense, f*ck therapy and the entire scam artist-filled profession. I've thought that for years as has millions of others. Give people a pill and let's hope that fixes them some.

Instead, I'm just going to a) create the person I wish to be and be it. b) learn body language so I can make up for my deficiencies with regards to getting and connecting with others. If I like them, I'll move forward using the body language tricks. If I don't like them, f*ck 'em. I do no one favors unless they return it. c) Put the rest of my energy into my artistic career. That's what I'm good at.

d) Be an advocate for lots or regulation on that scam-filled therapy profession. Let's face it, they need regulation. A LOT OF REGULATION! My own experience has taught me it is fraught with liars about their qualifications for money, treat anything since it is payday regardless of the damage they do, etc. Does this hurt the good shrinks? I really don't care. They all know this crap goes on and they do nothing to fix it. I found not one damn shrink, out of 12, taught me one lousy grounding technique. Learned it on here from someone. Thanks, safenow! Too bad I can't go back and sue the crap out of the losers I did have. You live, you learn.

There really has got to be a better way than spending the rest of your life sitting in some shrink's office and spending a fortune on said shrink.

I just finally realized, I've had enough. I can't do any worse on my own than with the 12 losers (shrinks) I had and the books that frustrate the shit out of me. Maybe more of you need to do what I'm doing. Good luck.

 

[Abrasky]

I had the same situation you had 13 years ago. I tried unsuccessfully for a therapist for 4 years. I had tried hypnotists, psychologists, psychiatrists, one psychologist misdiagnosed me with avoidance personality disorder and told me I was just after someone to get disability payment from. I went to the toilet and cried for 1 hour non stop in the most scary loud hollowing voice that I was going to end up dying. Then he said, "oh I think I have it wrong". I thought F##k you I wouldn't come back if you were the last psychologist on earth. One told me that I would never get better, which for me meant working again.

I then found 'one' psychologist who I clicked with who did a lot of therapy with me for 4 years with psycodynamic therapy. I have been off antidepressants for 6 years. I looked for another psychologist that I clicked with (took a while and 4 more) and stayed with her a few years. I found another willing to also do linking of memories, as it is getting a less scary therapy now for psychologists to undertake. And I remembered the whole my actual trauma after in my 12th 13th and 14th year of therapy.

Is it worth it going to therapy? My opinion is only if you are getting better. And if you aren't you just have to keep trying as there will be a psychologist out there that will be able to help I think. It sucks being at the beginning of a journey of healing. But I have been working for 10 months now being a good mum too, and I might have had a sucky time healing spending my time in psychologists surgergies, but everybody else is benefiting from from me healing bit by bit and that is what makes it worth it. I have supported many people in my life this year. It is really really cool. My therapy cost me $12000 over 12 years, I earned that much this year.

It is just that you haven't found the right therapy. Try everything, look for what I did, a connection and ask about linking memories and psychodynamic therapy. If they know about it they know something about how to get better.

You have a lot of determination to tell psychologists where to go which is just frustration. I think determination is the most valuable emotion to have in my healing process. So you already have a very good chance to succeed.

 

[raven123]

Maze, Thank you for responding. I think you missed -- I'm broke and can't possibly afford therapy so I give up. Kinda hilarious that the word "therapist" come to: "the rapist". So, a therapist is the rapist. I haven't see a shrink since 2004. Three (actually thought of another just now) told me I was hopeless. One in 1997 and another in 1998 and another in 1999. The first was an EMDR moron who could care less about patients. The second didn't care less about me either, but, maybe she was right. The third was a dude and he was a dick. The the-rapy profession can go straight to hell!

 

[Pencil]

I'd really love to tell quit a few "authors" where they can shove their books.

That, I think would be pointless - I think those places are already crammed with their earlier books (which made them fortunes anyway.)

 

[Abrasky]

My sister also can't afford therapy, and she found a free one at the hospital. Is it possible there are alternatives like that to where you live?

I also saw a doctor/ psychologists once with double degrees and you can bulk bill on medicare. These are just a few ideas, that may or may not be helpful. I don't know the set up where you live.

If you have a vietnam veteren as a relative, you can also get free counceling. (where I live).

Another idea is the victims of crime compensation also provide victims of crime with free counceling. You don't need to have gone through the court system for a crime to have access to this councelling.

Personally I would go with the hospital one, they seem to be helping my sister a lot. The victims of crime councellors made me go backwards.

 

[therapybankrupt]

I had a really hard financial time in the middle of my recovery. I can only speak from experience. I have been to Hospital clinics in two cities in the US during that time. It was a teaching hospital that had provision for low income people. You get student interns or new residents learning and rotating every six months. I wasted 3 years with repetitive nonsense but I stayed alive. After being dismissed from the the last hospital claiming they had done everything possible. They were done!

I sought out a private practice and was sent to a partial hospital program at another hospital. I was given a correct diagnosis and am now making some progress. I have suffered since 2004 with unbearable PTSD symptoms. It sometimes takes a long time to heal, be ready or find the right therapy to help. Oh yeah now I am in to debt like crazy but the hospital if you make payments works with you. Try going to a hospital for help. I have spent my pension on my illness but if that's what it takes plus beyond I am going to try everything available. I now have insurance and disability. My copays for mental health appointments are 200 dollars a month. Best wishes in your journey!

Tb

 

[Tanishq]

raven123, I understand your frustration. Don't give up. Give up those things which don't work for you, but don't give up which is working for you.

I am also searching for therapist or person who has specialized in trauma. I have not found yet. I am searching from July 2012, still haven't found yet. I have seen very few people who understand me, that has happened online. So far, it is helping. Few friends outside of this forum and this forum has been best help.

Wishing you best wishes in your healing journey. :tup:

 

[raven123]

Hey, Thanks for all the suggestions. I don't live near a teaching hospital. I'm already bankrupt. Working on filing that right now. The VA is not in this city where I live. I'm 44 and the rape happened almost 41 years ago. I contacted the military, JAG, and they were pretty cold--ahole cold about it. Tired of the game.

 

[raven123]

Survival mode is 24/7 for me. I've always thought through everything because I have no clue how to feel through anything.

 

[anthony]

There really has got to be a better way than spending the rest of your life sitting in some shrink's office and spending a fortune on said shrink.

There is... it's called, DIY. Self-help books aren't going to do it. My entire healing I did what I was told I shouldn't, being that I went and learnt what the therapists learn. I read their books, not self-help nonsense. I read the detailed, specific texts about psychology, psychiatry, neurology, behaviour and therapies. From most of what I read, I tossed 80% of more out the door as complete and total garbage. The rest, well... most of it is here, and then always growing with what others add daily.

I helped me. The simple truth that I learnt early was that I got more help from like minded people than I did from therapists. I expected them to have answers, when all they really had was empathy and sympathy. No real answers. I found the answers and then implemented them within my own life.

If you want to recover PTSD, that is how you do it.

Saying that... I don't agree that most psychiatrists and psychologists are frauds. Expensive, no doubt. They earned their qualifications, now they get to charge for them. I do agree that because mental health is simply so subjective, basically a best guess based on the physicians knowledge and more importantly, experience, that mental health is over-diagnosed and under-treated. No doubt at all. Pharmaceuticals has too much input, to much persuasion.

There are some really helpful mental health practitioners... but yes, I do not believe the majority can help a person with PTSD. The person has to help themselves above all else, as no therapist has the answers they seek. They actually have the answers themselves... it's more about them finding it when being pointed in the right direction.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I've been away from the forum for awhile. This thread is the first one I read when I logged on today. I think maybe there was a reason for that?

You were raped at about the same age as me if my math is right. So I think I know at least some of your struggles.

Yes, a lot of therapists are unhelpful at best. And yes, a lot of "self-help" books are just crap. I've been in and out of therapy for a long time now. Currently not seeing a therapist and struggling with the DIY thing. I do rely on books, but stick with the ones that are geared toward PTSD or specifically deal with CBT. More than one book has been thrown in the trash after reading it as I don't even see it fit for donation. But I digress.

I do believe that you can heal on your own. You will take a different path than those in regular therapy, but it can be done. It takes a lot of self motivation, but over time, if you work on things, you will see improvement.

I'm starting to ramble now so I'll end my post. I just want you to know that there are a lot of things you can do on your own to heal. Good luck.