you've had a time of it all right. i can somewhat sympathize/empathize. You see, my son is the joy of my life. When he was born - took me a long time to have him for alot of reasons, along with miscarriages - it was not your average experience. We found out at 32 weeks that he had spina bifida. over the next few weeks, there were ultrasounds, trips to hospitals, specialists, transport teams, etc. and me getting ducks in a row. My marriage was strained and voila. time to give birth. That morning in the delivery room, there were 15 people besides me and it was daunting. when my baby was delivered, he didn't cry - no one expected him to live - over the next few weeks there were many episodes of life support, surgeries, clergy, unintentionally cruel remarks and intentional ones as well - and I woke up to a whole new world. As much joy as that world is to me, I have had to take stretches of time off work to deal with my son's illnesses and my own fatigue. He didn't sleep through th enight until he was 11 years, 2 months and 3 days old - yeah, I remember it that well because I spent the whole night poking him to see if he was 'okay'. over the years we have dealt with 6 hour status seizures on a frequent basis, many ICU stays, j-tube insertion, developmental delay, legally blind, non-verbal, wheelchairs and the fittings and doctors adn therapists and and and.
His father and I are divorced and we've been on our own since he was 4 for the most part. anyway the point I was rying to make was that they are worth it and through the trials, through the tribulations, through the sorrows and joys, that one little smile or knowing you did something worthwhile today is the fuel that keeps the engine running. just try and turn the motor off occasionally - for everyone. a birdfeeder and a great book - and chocolate of course can sometimes reset you a little.
