Go Ahead, Pick The Lock On My Door

[Crimson]

Hi there,

Currently I'm going through some pretty darned intense stuff. So, currently I'm not really sleeping on a bed, couch or chair.....I'm sleeping right smack dab in front of my apartment's door. So, I think it's safe to classify that as anxiety.....I think it'd be hilarious if someone broke in, 'Holy Crap there's a 250 pound dude sleeping on the floor right next the the f'n door!'

Has anyone experienced this also?

 

[macca]

I can't help but think if they did, they would have picked the wrong door...

I haven't done that, but in one house I lived in that was really triggering for me, I would sometimes find myself caught between the top of the internal stairs (from the feared downstairs) and the front door, holding the door handle with one hand ready to run for it, but holding a knife (the only weapon I could find) in the other. Ready for anything, but there was nothing. Completely irrational. I'd get stuck like that until my husband came home, and I had to make sure it was him, or there was no way he was coming in that door!

 

[franciemarnie]

I have nights where no place feels just right. I feel like...Goldilocks I think was her name.

At one point I liked to sleep on the floor under the window in a high rise apartment I lived in

I will often start the night (or the dawn usually) sleeping in one spot and have to switch to another place a couple hours later.

Always looking (feeling) for the safe spot.

 

[Spiderallis]

I've slept in the living room for many years- with a clear view of the front door and able to hear if there's noise at the back. I think it's okay to do, if that's what it takes to fall asleep then go ahead and sleep at the door. I'm trying to re-adjust to the bed, seems like it may help some joint and soreness problems, but on tense nights I'm more able to rest in the living room.

 

[DMerish]

Sorry Crimson, I don't recall "your story" - your background. But I think I get what you're saying. I've gone through periods when driving to a quiet and remote but safe spot and sleeping in my car with the doors locked has been the only place I found "comfortable" enough to (sort of) sleep. :rolleyes: And I still keep blankets and a pillow in my car . . . just in case ;)

 

[LokiBell]

As my victimization happened in my bedroom, I find it extremely difficult to sleep in there. More often than not, I sleep on the couch. I have permanent nerve damage done to my discs in my neck and back due to my injuries I sustained but I cannot stand to sleep in the room it all happened in. As I know that you sleeping on the floor and me sleeping on a couch isn't ideal for our physical health, I find that it is most helpful for my emotional health, which at this point, is more important to me.

 

[BloomInWinter]

I slept in closets many times.

 

[Crimson]

Not a fun ending to this post, beware.

Thank you for all of your replies and thoughts, it makes me feel better!

On the other end, 'Naw, pishaw, sleep on the floor, no.'. I slept on couch cushions in front of the door.

I slept on cushions in front of the door and that was better than before; wedging something that would stop the door from opening under it and putting a piece of furniture in front of the door and sleeping next to that with a blunt object in my hand. That was the really bad time.

What brought this about was when my roommate (used to be my girlfriend) did not lock the door to our apartment and when I freaked out about that she told me that she thought that I would always know whether the door was locked or not.

Before she said that to me, I had kept coming to her asking about the unlocked door, I had been drinking.

When she said that she thought that I would know whether or not the door was locked (because of my hypervigilence) I lost my damn mind and barricaded the door like I told you earlier.

I really wonder if it would be a good idea to get back together with her based on her 'continued' lack of respect of my hypervigilence, intense startle response, depression and anger.

Or maybe she's just tired of it all.

'Note to self, don't get raped and sexually tortured, eventually people get tired of how broken you are.'

 

[The_Comfy_Chair]

There was a period of several months when I would decide I needed to sleep on the couch in front of the front door to our apartment. The building was going downhill at the time, and something made me feel extremely fearful that someone was going to try to break in. Eventually I did move back into my room to sleep, and I don't know exactly what brought on the fear in the first place. Nobody had ever broken in before that time.