God Is Showing Me The Light.

[The Albatross]

Yup I have it on my diary somewhere I think.

Here ya go:

On the first day... a man walks down a street...
Suddenly the world goes dark. He thinks he is lost.
Then he realizes he is in a deep hole.
He tries to find his way out, and it takes a very long time.
Once he is out the day is gone ... so he walks back home.

On the second day... the man walks down the same street.
The world goes dark again. He is in the hole again.
He takes a while to recognize where he is.
Eventually he finds his way out...
and so again he walks back home.

On the third day... the man again walks down the street.
He knows the hole is there and pretends not to see the hole...
and closes his eyes.
Once again he falls into the hole, and climbs out ...
and walks back home, the day lost once again.

On the fourth day... the man walks cautiously down the street.
He sees the hole and this time walks around it. He is pleased.
But the world goes dark again. He has fallen into another hole.
He climbs out of the second hole, walks home ... and alas... falls into the first hole.
He gets out of the first hole... and walks back home... to think.

On the fifth day... the man walks confidently down the street.
He sees the first hole..... and recognizes it.
He walks around it... but forgets the second hole, which he walks directly into.
He gets out immediately... and walks straight back home - to weep and hope.

On the sixth day... the man walks nervously down the street...
The hole is there and he thinks "I won't fall into the hole again"... and walks around the hole.
He sees the second hole, avoids the second hole... but as he passes, he loses his balance...
and falls in.
Climbing out he walks back home ... taking the time to carefully avoid all the holes.

On the seventh day... the same man goes for a walk....
... and chooses to walk down a different street.

 

[The Albatross]

NA is a great idea as suggested by Chava. It is a program based on spiritual principles, and it also solves the loneliness and desire for companionship/fellowship with others. Not all are well at the tables but worth reading up and attending some online meetings before you head to a meeting in real life near you?

 

[The Albatross]

Caution though NA is different than AA in that when sharing in meetings about addiction/drug use... often times the sharer can give themselves (like Pavlov's dog) the cues to use. Alcoholics do not get this response not in the way that drug addicts do.

 

[Justmehere]

@Albatross has a great suggestion. A "Celebrate Recovery" group might be a good option is well. They are usually based out of churches and combine an NA/AA model with Christian community and mini-sermons and worship services. They are for any "hurt, habit, or hangup" - everything from drug addiction to perfectionism. It's not for everyone, but might be right for you. Just google Celebrate Recovery and your town's name, and google should bring up any groups in your area. I think you would be well received and very welcome there, if you are ready and willing to reach out and really make this happen.

 

[sonicwhite]

I'm ready. I told the guy to lose my number. I am finally seeing the money wasted. All the destruction it did and even what it could of really done. He is a jerk with no conscience it says good is bad, and bad is good. I'm glad I did it. I'm doing this for me. I went ten years without doing meth and he got kicked out of the house he was living in about thirty minutes away. So he comes back to his mom which lives about five miles. We bumped into each other at a gas station and that is how it all happened. Please pray that God corrects him. That God not only opens his heart but he shows the person the very sinful nature of his way. May he crawl back to God with humility and see that he is so wrong on so many levels. I will no longer be a slave to this .

 

[RussH]

. Why does God allow bad things to happen. When you did everything right with a upright heart you still get slammed with anxiety obsessions and mental anguish as your reward.

Two things:
1. Bad things happen because we live in a fallen world, and the bad things are a consequence of sin. God does not allow it to happen it is just the cause and effect of sin in the world.
2. you as about how you did everything right with an upright heart. This is ultimately going back to works based theology. You are in essence saying God I did everything right, and my heart was right, therefore I have earned good things to happen. We cannot earn Heaven through our works, and we cannot earn the favor of God through our good works. Any and all good things that come to us from God are through grace, and what Christ accomplished on the cross.

 

[Justmehere]

I'm ready. I told the guy to lose my number.

Good! Excellent job sonic! This is a great step! This is SUCH a good boundary. I will for sure be praying for him and you both.

You are likely going to be really tempted to contact him again, or someone else who sells, and he may reach out to you again. People who sell drugs are not known for being respectful of boundaries... and the chemical draw of the drug will likely make you want to think you need to go find him, or another dealer. Anyone anywhere to get it. You know this. You have quit before and gone back to it before.

So what's your plan to keep the boundary if and when this happens? Either someone reaches out to you to sell to you or you feel like you want to go buy more?

 

[sonicwhite]

I have told him to stop insulting me texting and lose my number. Now I'm just confident that he won't have anything to do with me because I have stuck it to him straight. And I have cameras all over my house that record the minute the camera sees something move. I'm not really concerned with the temptation part. I'm more concerned of the harassment and backlash that may come about from me trying to be polite and I had to tell him straight.

 

[sonicwhite]

love the beginning

 

[sonicwhite]

 

[sonicwhite]

The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded
The dawn mist glowing
The water flowing
The endless river
Forever and ever

 

[The Albatross]

Keep this where it is, your drug use and get NA or Celebrate Recovery support? Get thee to meetings and cast out and guard your "house" (soul). Read and study Luke Chapter 11.