- Thread starter
- #13
couragetogrow
Learning
Yes...this makes a lot of sense.So whether one’s boundaries changed in response to living in an ongoing state of emergency, or were written as if it was normal? They often/usually have to be rewritten (or rewritten yet again) to account for NOT an emergency. IE to be/become who we want to be, living life the way we want to.
Clear as mud?
I think if you'd prefer more contact (and there's nothing wrong with that necessarily) that would be expressing a need or want, vs a boundary. (Boundaries are your limits or choices in respect to the other person's behaviours or demands). (Just how I understand it.)
I actually don't want more contact, but feel obligated to still maintain contact/say yes to things I don't want to do because they are family that doesn't overtly abuse me, but they make no effort to see me which makes me feel like they don't care and I simultaneously feel if I went less contact/said no they would feel offended hence I keep the one-sided relationship of me doing everything. Basically, I'm the one that feels obligated and I am learning how to manage that in my relationships.