Going Into Hospital For A Gastroscopy

[CraftyCath]

Some of you will know that I've been having problems with my stomach and anemia.

My mouth has been swollen and sore and the pain in my stomach and around my back has been awful. I had to stop taking the iron tablets as they were making it worse but the tablets the doctor gave me to reduce the stomach acid has only partly worked.

My mouth is not as swollen (she thinks this is because of acid reflux that I am unaware of at night) but my stomach is still aggravated - I feel constantly hungry and have to eat something just to stop the pain. I can't drink milk as I'm lactose intolerant and I can't stand the taste of other types of milk (soya, goats milk etc.).

When I saw her today she said she would refer me for a Gastroscopy (A camera down into my stomach). She told me as it was non-urgent that it would take a few months but after reading my notes and noticing that my iron levels have been as low as 5 she has decided to speed things up.

Normally, the procedure is done quickly in those with suspected cancer and others have to wait (and rightly so) but she is concerned that by not taking the iron tablets my iron levels and hemoglobin will fall quite quickly and I'll need to be hospitalised. So she has decided to push it through quickly. She said that the letter I will receive my mention investigations for cancer but I'm not to worry about it as it is just her way of getting a quicker appointment. She thinks it is either the H Pylori bacteria, and ulcer or both.

So I should get a letter soon inviting me for the procedure in about 2 weeks.:nailbiting:

Thing is, I was really triggered.

I told her that I had PTSD and if someone tried to stick a tube down my throat I would likely as not try to hit them and I know I would put up a fight!:arghh; She said they will sedate me and I said they better put me under as I will fight everything they give me. She said that it has to be done; which it does, and that I just have to explain my PTSD to them. Yeah right!

I also had a very bad fall yesterday while climbing down a mountain. I slipped on a rock I was climbing over and landed on my side ending up with a bruised knee, a badly bruised and very sore hip and a swollen and badly bruised arm. :inpain: I thought I'd broken my arm but it is just bruised but I'm in a lot of pain.

Crafy Cath is not a happy bunny!

 

[p-no]

I am sorry you are having a sh*t day! I'm feeling for you. :hug:

Re the sedation: I just had that conversation (about PTSD and me panicking) with an anesthesist for something taking place in September. She kept it very short but gave me the impression she got it (that the drugs had better be good) and she said: you will come in, lie down and that is it.

I have done this before couple of times and all I can say is: I could hardly even think, hey, something's happening... and off I'd go. Maybe you can ask the person who will give you the sedation for something to calm you beforehand. If you can't do it with sedation only, ask for having it done in/under (?) anesthesia. Really, I love anesthesia since you go in, go to dreamy-land, wake up, go home, sleep, wake up and keep living your life.

Wishing you all the best with this.

 

[Tinyflame]

((((((Dear CC, xoxoxoxoxox))))))))

 

[CraftyCath]

Thank you prime-no.:)

My real problem is that part of my trauma happened in a hospital so hospitals are a huge stressor. It is when my control is taken from me or if someone is very controlling that I'm triggered.

I won't be seeing anyone before the procedure i don't think so I won't have the opportunity to discuss it until I get there. It's the going off to dreamy-land that is so triggering for me. I just hope my H can take the time off to be there for me otherwise it will have to be a family member and that could trigger also.

I think total sedation, i.e. an anesthetic might be best but my doctor told me they will probably refuse it; this is the NHS after all, but I will ask.

Thank you for letting me know that it is over quickly, it is such a relief to know that. I hate being around hospitals and our local one is notoriously bad. I just have to remember how far I have come and stay grounded. From what I've been told they often use Rhohipnol as a sedative so you don't remember much of what is going on.

I truly hope I don't remember anything!

 

[KP the nut]

(((CC))), let us know when you have a date and we can all come with you. Will H be able to go with you?

 

[Nighthawk]

I so know what you are going through.

 

[BloomInWinter]

((((((((CraftyCath))))))))

Don't worry about standing up for yourself. Tell them firmly WHATEVER you need to in order to be able to tolerate the process. 'Don't do that....tell me before you...I need to know every step...'

I wish I could spare you this pain. Hang in there, my brave friend!

 

[p-no]

I am sorry about that, CC, that hospitals trigger you and treatments do too. I can relate in the sense that lying down and having to not move used to trigger me tremendously. I want to encourage you because it does not always have to be like this. It changed for me when one day I went to the doctor's and suddenly I couldn't panic. Could not (I wanted to!). Then I actually, for the first time, stayed in reality and noticed that what happened was just A, B, and C. I would have never thought (before) that that would actually be all, neither would I have thought that I would ever overcome this in a way that would be okay and, considering the circumstances, good for me. This maybe doesn't help you now, but maybe, one day, looking back.

Does it help you to know that people will think of you the very day and time? It does help me - and if it helps you let me know what day and time (and tell me your time zone)!

Even if it's the NHS (whatever that is...), there usually are options. What's bad about that though is that often with PTSD you feel you don't have the strength to fight for it, yet another time. If you don't see anyone until that day, go see someone before that day. You are a patient and as such have rights. Call, talk and go. Seriously.

And re the stuff they use for sedation: As a teenager (already PTSD then), I was given Dormicum which is a regular sedation drug here. Only last year (!) did my GP tell me that it has no effect on people with PTSD. Well, I would have needed that GP as a teenager (because it is true). So, please, CC, make sure to at least call and ask about the stuff they are planning to give you and whether it is working for people with PTSD.

I hated giving up control over me so very much, it freaked me out, I hit a dentist, I tried to hit others, I was triggered everytime and was in a total state of shock three weeks before each appointment. I can relate. And then, that one day, I experienced the giving up control being my friend. I so wish the same for you.

 

[CraftyCath]

Thank you prime-no for being so thoughtful. I does help to know people are will be thinking of me on the day I go in.

NHS is National Health Service. In the UK you do get some options but not many. I can ring up and discuss with the receptionist but I'll have to wait and see what it says on the letter before I can find out what other options are. Sometimes they can refer you out of the area and sometimes they can't.

What's it like not being able to panic? That sounds like joy to me, I'd love not to panic. Maybe one day soon I'll get to experience that.

The drug they use here depends on what they think is best. There is limited understanding of PTSD in the NHS, especially in my town. But I will do as you mentioned and ask what my options are.

How on earth do you give up control? I so don't want to fight the way I do. Any suggestions?

 

[CraftyCath]

let us know when you have a date and we can all come with you. Will H be able to go with you?

You can all come and hold my hand! :D H doesn't know if he'll get the time off yet KP as it's short notice but he will try. He has an Ambulance Service sign that he puts in our car so we don't have to pay the parking and can park in the ambulance bay!

I so know what you are going through.

Thank you so much NH, you are such a sweet friend to think of me when you are going through so much. x

Tell them firmly WHATEVER you need to in order to be able to tolerate the process.

You are so right Bloom! I will stand up for my rights. Thanks for caring. x

 

[The Albatross]

Just caught up Cath... I had to do an endoscopy (similar to your procedure) so I understand. I hope you get a good prognosis, and I'm sorry you had a tough time. Though I've had some bad experiences, like Deb, I tend to disassociate during those times. It it one of the times when it actually comes in seemingly handy. But I hope they can find a cause and help you gal.

 

[amethist]

Hi Cath

I know a few people who have had this done under sedation, and they all said they could not remember a thing.

You need someone with you to drive you home afterwards though, so try and get someone who can drive well to take you.