Going Into Hospital For A Gastroscopy

[KP the nut]

I tried to find an image that would suit. This isn't ideal but it made me laugh, at least you won't have his problem :roflmao::roflmao:

 

[PTSD sufferer]

Hi Cath,

Sorry you are going brought this, it sounds very triggering. I had a minor surgery yesterday and have discharged myself from hospital be cause of the ward they put me on (gerries) with no lock on the door, si I do know how you feel. I think what helped me yesterday was that I gave myself permission to be assertive and stand up for my physical and mental well being. I made sure that each key player in the surgery had to have a conversation with me before and explained my reactions and prior history. I also made several jokes with the nurses who learned that I needed positivity, comfort and privacy. I had my husband with me until I was wheeled in, and he was there in my room when I came out. This was very important for me. My grounding stayed with me and was handed directly back to me as soon as I was out.

It is very important to talk about pre anxieties with your supporter nd just let all that fear be listened to. I was worried about what sedation would do to me because I have to manage my memories actively during the day and can't really do much to stop the nightmares. So I think I can sympathise with you. I had to remind myself that I may not be able to stop h nightmare but I am more eqipt to deal with it afterwards now. For me, I had nightmares in dream state, but when I came too, it was perfectly fine and in respects of psychology, all is well and the anxiety did not occur. Have faith in what you have learnt, you ability to manage and remember your capacity to overcome. Breath, ground, ask questions and vent if you need to.

I wish I could be your supporter through this as I get what you are feeling right now, but I will support you from a distanced and I hope it all works out in the end. Always here for you if you want to chat. xoxo.

 

[Froggie]

Sorry you're going through a rough time dear friend, let us know the date and time so that we can be a gang who will be virtually with you, sending you positive vibes, candles burning, etc.

 

[Meadowsweet]

I hope things will be better for you soon Craftycath. Will be thinking of you x

 

[p-no]

What's it like not being able to panic? That sounds like joy to me, I'd love not to panic. Maybe one day soon I'll get to experience that.

You tend to imagine it's the other extreme, but it is not. It is not joy, but it is endurable, it is manageable, it's peaceful, normal, to some extent. It ends up being a visit to the dentists, a gastroscopy, without the panicking. It is real life, not imaginations. Panicking really is imagining (the worst?, something real bad?...) and fast forwarding into a future that may not ever be as imagined.

The drug they use here depends on what they think is best. There is limited understanding of PTSD in the NHS, especially in my town. But I will do as you mentioned and ask what my options are.

The same applies to, well, Germany. They do use what they think is best, too. But PTSD is in the same boat there so what they think is best should be based on all facts, include the PTSD.

How on earth do you give up control? I so don't want to fight the way I do. Any suggestions?

Maybe part of it is realising that you do it all the time. When you get on a bus and ride on it, you give up control and give it to the driver to safely take you where you need to get off. Then maybe you realise that there are a lot of situations where you actually already do it and nothing bad happens. And maybe that gives you enough courage to try consciously in other situations. I was "lucky" (I don't really believe in "lucky" or "unlucky" anymore): Whenever I move to a new city (for career purposes), I will actively search for a GP, a dentist, etc. who are the way I need them to be to be of help to me. This means a lot of work at first, that had me go see gynaecologists (women!) who were laughing out loud and for a minute about me telling them I was panicking because of child sexual abuse, it had me be with dentists that were suggested "ideal" for "panicking patients" but really were everything but (not even clean), but in the end I always found what I was looking for, e.g. a dentist who would practice treatment with me. They were not getting paid for that. They were just being nice and supportive because, for some reason, they understood enough. So I would go there once a month, maybe less, without an appointment (waiting long, of course), sit on the chair, burst into tears, run out, just to do that over and over for years. Sooner or later things changed, I didn't have to panic as much, I finally got to actually notice that all the poor guy did was sit and give me space and time. Healing is baby steps over a long period of time. They got me to where I am. The trick is to have a goal to get to (like a child that learns to walk and one day it will so much like to run over from one parent to the other that it will just dare to "jump") and to be sick enough of what it has been like until then. It's a constant fight for oneself. And it means taking action again, again, again, again... (there is no stop, only a pause here and there). That's all I can say. Maybe that's a question you can only answer for yourself, each one of us, when looking back.

I'll be thinking of you.

 

[Venusian]

I wrote this post this morning but for some reason I couldn't post it before I had to leave for work so I just copied it into Word so I could post it later. It sounds like you have got a lot of information and advice since then.


Hi Crafty Cath, I had to reply to your thread because I am going through much the same thing except it isn't my stomach, it is somewhere further along the digestive track. I am waiting for a CT scan and ultrasound and it will be months before I get the tests and results back. Like you, I have no indications of cancer either just months of unexplained pain and a treatment that works but complicates other conditions I have. I did go in for a day surgery and I was upfront with the staff when they asked what had happened that caused the PTSD and why what they would be doing would cause the reaction. Maybe I was really lucky because everyone was really understanding and made some minor adjustments to make me more comfortable. For example, I was put under general anesthesia and the anesthetist changed the face mask to a clear one and actually let me hold it until I went under, it really helped and gave me a tiny little bit of control in the OR.

One thing I would suggest is to ask your doctor about afterward, I was really unprepared for the recovery and the flashbacks that it triggered. I still don't know how to handle those if I have to go into more major surgery but knowing the triggers are there may help. My doctor told me a lot about what the procedure was and how she does it but the after affects were very badly described and really minimized in my case and I did not know the right questions to ask. There also was not a lot of information on the internet about the recovery.

I didn't explain everything that happened to the other specialists, just enough to let them know why what they were doing would affect me.

I hope some of this helps.

 

[CraftyCath]

Wow! Thank you all so much for you loving thoughts and sound advice, I really wasn't expecting such a response. Thank you all. x

and they all said they could not remember a thing.

Thanks Amethist, I hope that is the case.

I gave myself permission to be assertive and stand up for my physical and mental well being.

I think this is the key for me. I have learned so much, I am a different person than I was. I do not have to react the way I used too. They are there to help me not the other way around. I am strong. I'll keep telling myself this.

I had my husband with me until I was wheeled in, and he was there in my room when I came out.

I truly hope my H can be there for me, it would help so much. I hope he can get the time off.

I was worried about what sedation would do to me because I have to manage my memories actively during the day and can't really do much to stop the nightmares. So I think I can sympathise with you. I had to remind myself that I may not be able to stop h nightmare but I am more eqipt to deal with it afterwards now.

Thank you so much for mentioning this PTSD Sufferer. This was one of my main fears. My nightmares are uncontrollable and seem to have no pattern. If I make this known perhaps it will help. The drug they often use, Rhohipnol, is often used illegally as a date-rape drug as it leaves no memory for the poor victim so perhaps I won't remember the nightmares? My nightmares leave me shaky but I recover from them so much quicker these days.

I wish I could be your supporter through this as I get what you are feeling right now

Thank you so much for being there. :)

Sorry you're going through a rough time dear friend

Oh Froggie, it is so sweet of you to think of me with all you have been/are going through. You cannot know how much your words mean to me.:cry:, thank you so much.

Will be thinking of you x

Thank you for the hugs and for taking the time to care Meadowsweet. x

but it is endurable, it is manageable

Thank you again prime-no! I'm going to print of all these lovely words and take them with me. I never thought of being normal as I have no experience of it. Peace. that will do for me.

Then maybe you realise that there are a lot of situations where you actually already do it and nothing bad happens.

I hadn't thought of that. Great advice. Thank you so much.

As for the dentist. I was pinned down and smacked by a dentist as a child and I have sat and cried like a baby during procedures, vomited with anxiety and dissociated. I truly sympathise with anyone who is dental phobic.

I was really unprepared for the recovery and the flashbacks that it triggered.

Thank you Venusian you have hit the nail on the head so to speak.. I have trauma from childhood but also trauma from my Nursing days when I was accused of killing one of my patients. Last time I had a flash back was when I was watching TV and they showed someone being resuscitated. I felt myself starting to dissociate and stopped it. Usually I don't even know I'm dissociating but this time I did. I can't stop the flash backs and obviously I'm worried that this might happen after I come round.

The hospital is one of the ones I worked at so that is stressful enough. I could ask to go to another one but I don't want to run for the rest of my life. I might as well face it now, while I have some control rather than having to be admitted for a longer time and freaking out. Like prime-no said, it is baby steps.

I guess I know too much and it's not a good thing. When I was a nurse I assisted with this procedure and I can still visualise exactly what the patient goes through even if they can't remember...I do. I'm finding that difficult to deal with.

Thank you so much Venusian, your words are very encouraging to me.

Both my Mother and Grandmother died from bowel cancer so it is always lurking at the back of my mind. I try not to think of it but it creeps in at times like this.

 

[Srain]

Hey Cath, sorry I just now saw your post. I've been through this procedure myself last year and went through so many issues with my digestion, my heart goes out to you with the discomfort with it all.

I don't have much to add to all the great things everyone has posted but I did want to send you my thoughts and give you this ((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))) Take good care always :hug:

.

Sending peace and healing,
Rain

 

[CraftyCath]

Thank you so much for caring rain and for the lovely picture. :tup:

It seems there are a few of us with digestive tract problems. Makes you wonder if the PTSD affects it?

 

[p-no]

It seems there are a few of us with digestive tract problems. Makes you wonder if the PTSD affects it?

From my own experience: It does affect it. And very much so, I think. I had the worst trouble with it when I had the worst trouble in my marriage.

Thinking of you.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

 

[CraftyCath]

I have the date for the pre-op assessment. Friday 31st August... that's less than a week away.

I get to discuss what is going to happen, well, they 'tell' me what will happen and I will have to put in my two-cents worth. Usually, at my hospital, you have to fight to be heard so game on!

H is on a late shift so he can take me for this one and be a strong presence.

Thank you all for caring and being supportive - I truly value it.

I'll let you all know how I get on.

Cheers,

CC