Going Out Where You May Encounter The Person You Dispise.

[C689]

I want to go out and socialize. But I fear running into the "friend" who I woke up to molesting me. I had not dealt with my emotions about this until the past few months. I was OK being around him when I just brushed it off. Now I am facing it.. and UGH!! I don't feel like I should change what I do because of what he did.. but I get so much anxiety over the possibility

Anyone have suggestions on if/when situation happens and what to do?
.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I have this issue with my abusers, they all live within a mile of my front door and it terrifies me. I think take it small and try going out with someone and at times you're least likely to bump into them like shopping at night, going out in the early hours of the morning and so on. I'm not able to go out on my own and haven't for several years, because of these fears and as I'm trying to avoid so many people it has been that I have seen them when I have gone out, however as it's not on my own, I feel a small sense of buffer. The only other advice I have is the same advice I will be taking when I am financially able and that is to move away. Good luck.

 

[arfie]

I carry my "tool box" for these occasions. My therapy journal and meditation readers are standard equipment. Other tools vary with my current fancy. When triggers happen, I excuse myself from the festivities for a therapy break. I return if or when I am back in charge of my reactions. If I cannot, I let it go for the moment and try again later.

Notice I did not use the words, "just" or "easy." I will use the words, "worth it."

Gentle hugs, C. Hope you get your life back.

 

[C689]

I guess it is also harder because the guy I was seeing (also PTSD) felt the need to insult me, before saying we should dial back to just friends. I didn't have the opportunity to tell him what I was mentally going threw. So, when he insulted me, I kinda lost it in public. ;-)

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

I haven't been outside alone for three years alone and I when it comes to going out with someone it can't be just anyone - there is only one person reliably and even then I find it difficult and do it at most once a month except for therapy appointments which are new and weekly.

 

[C689]

Maybe I will go different places or try to get information about who is where. I think I could handle it, just wouldn't speak to them. I mean I pushed it away so much as to remain friends with this last person. Now I have had to face it, and I have already told him it was wrong. But it might need to be a public.. you are soooo freaking wrong. Maybe...

 

[C689]

I did the whole don't go anywhere at all for about a year, in the past. I don't want to do that again. Sorry it has been so long Kas_Can_Fly.

 

[DMerish]

C,

I'm not sure if I'm fully understanding . . .

Are you and the person that molested you part of the same group of friends/social group?

Or is/was the person that molested you on the periphery of your social group?

 

[C689]

I am not sure that anyone is truly his friend. He is part of the going out social group. The other social group has the family life. He ended up being a co-worker (not any more). But I really don't think anyone is "close" to him.. He always was around me for the going out social group. He got me to go out after avoiding the whole "going out" situation.

 

[Kas_Can_Fly]

All I meant to add to my last post is: it's not easy but don't give up, one day something will give and everything else will be worth it. Keep hope. :)