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Grandiose Feelings To "we're" The Worst

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Punky143

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I'm one of the more strange person to know. I don't need "friendships" or even casual "relationships" either. I'm told daily that "we're" content in our world since there's many of us. (My T knows there's more but we're not telling her yet) While at work, one part can come out but thankfully quietly. She thinks she's better than everyone and makes sure she doesn't reveal any personal thoughts or opinions. Generic. She's normal height, wavy brown hair and small. She can get nasty to those at work if they cross her the wrong way. Makes for some very stressful, high anxiety days. While not working, another part yearns for a friend but has no idea how. Fear. Putting in so much work, then abandoned.
My point. Loneliness while watching others have friendships yet no idea why we don't want to be bothered.
 
It's hard to find people who have the time & energy to keep up with those of us who require their full attention.
Not worth the risk in my view & it turns out to be a monumental time-waster for me because the last thing I ever want to do is have another full time relationship in my old age. I want space. Uninterrupted space without the mumbo jumbo of other people trying to mold me or unravel me so they can make a rug from my already tightly woven art piece that is uniquely me! <So, if you were to apply those same words to you, perhaps they could bring a bit of solace to those worries? IDK, just my thoughts before breakfast. I gave up therapy when it turned into a tea party affair. I needed help - not friends & social gatherings. I enjoy being alone because I grew up that way & cannot take chaos in most social settings.
 
Perhaps one contributing factor is that you have high expectations for people coming into your life as friends or more than friends. You expect a lot because you've been let down a lot. For example, my husband doesn't have many friends or trusted people in his life (really only 2-3), and that is because he has issues trusting new people. Everyone has always left him or abandoned him in his time of need, and those closest to him have hurt him the worst. It's no wonder his expectations are so high. It only makes sense that he would be this way because he has lost trust in society as a whole. Now, he's very guarded, has a lot of barriers up, and doesn't let just anybody into his inner circle. It's human nature for people to let you down, take you and your trust for granted. BUT I can say this-- not everyone is going to treat you that way. Not everyone is going to use you abuse you and throw you away. It's not necessarily a bad thing to have high expectations for others, but just realize that in order to find the good ones out there, you have to let down your guard just a little and put yourself in that vulnerable position of lowering your expectations slightly. My husband and I worked together in counseling to bring down some of those barriers, and now we have the most respectful, trusting, love-filled relationship. Our inner circle is still small, but that's OK because the people in it are truly trustworthy people and valued relationships that we hold to a high standard because they expect the same from us. I hope this helps you in some way!
 
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