General Grief For The Loss

[peachykehn]

ISupporther:

I am also new and have been reading your posts. I do really congratulate you on your years of marriage!!! (was it 22?) That is just so great!

I think the hardest thing for me with my husband is feeling cheated. For us, we have only been married 4 years, but the entire marriage has been plagued with PTSD. I spent the first 2 pretty depressed and crying every day and the last 2 pretty angry at him for not being honest until we were married, etc.

Then I finally realized something...I had better put on my big girl panties and deal with it, ya know?

I do allow myself time to cry to grieve and to feel how I feel, but then, after taking n emotional management class, I have leart to I put it back in the perverbial "box" and store it away and move on.

I guess, because I am now completely aware that this is the way it is and I better deal with it, change it, leave it, stay or not, but stop wallowing....lol.

I so identify here with all of you and I am sooooo happy to have found this wonderful online utopia to share with those that completely understand!

ISupporher, I am NOT ever telling you not to feel or not to be who and where you are I am merely telling you how much I understand the rollar coaster ride...grin.

The beautiful thing is that every single day we get is a brand new day!

God grant me the courage to know the difference today!

Cori

 

[amethist]

Hi there

We all know and understand where are with this.

It is tough position to be in, i have just had a tough couple of weeks with my husband and have had to kick and bite arses to get him the help he needs.

I know,understand and totally despise the fact that he will never be the man he was. The basis of the man he was is still there and the love he has for me shows through quite a lot.

What i am trying to say is you have to look after yourself a LOT so you don't spiral down into the bitter pit i was in where i nearly left. You sometimes have to be selfish just so you can keep going.

I read the bit about your daughter's wedding, instead of thinking if i had know this was coming i would not have spent so much, reverse it and say i am glad i had the money then to give them both the weddings they deserved.

Take care of yourself.

Amethist

 

[ISupportHer]

Thanks for the support and responses. It really helps me.

Amethist: Your comment about the wedding costs is how I usually feel. 2 weddings actually. Probably best that I did not have a crystal ball to see the future. I really am a "glass half full" vs "glass half empty" kind of guy in most circumstances. Just feeling sorry for myself sometimes. It was a blessing that we got through the weddings before the big change in her income.

peachykehn: WOW, roller coaster it is. From a very very low after something I saw, maybe misinterpreted, hope I misinterpreted to a good weekend away with her. So much I can't say publicly. I do, so much, need to be able to just be honest and talk with someone.

Some things just in the last few days, up and down, REALLY up and down, and it just seems like the "compass" I've relied on in understanding and interpreting things all my life just doesn't work anymore. Like I've been spun around and lost my balance as far as how to interpret things. A few months ago, wife made a comment that her therapist though it was time to bring me in to a session because it was "time to tell me a few things", whatever that means. The "glass half full" guy looks forward to an opportunity to learn more, understand more. The "glass half empty" guy is afraid that there is some iceberg out there that will sink everything. Part of the feelings associated with being a "carer", I recognize. I just can't shake that there is something else I don't know about. The therapist visit never happened, of course.

 

[Shoka]

ISupporther,

I've been in a therapy session with my bf and it was VERY helpful. I think anything like that can be nervewracking because you don't know what to expect. Try to stay positive that this is a good sign.

Shoka