Groomed

[Cookiemonster]

Has anyone been groomed before who I can relate to ? Back when I were 16 I were groomed by a member of staff at my school. And I'm 20 nnow and think Iv developed PTSD.

I have lots of feelings, anger, sadness, happiness and love.
Sometimes I finding myself thinking I love him and still do and try to defend him. And other times I have anger and sadness at what he did to me and I wish it never happened, Some times I become happy to see him then get very very sad and angry after a few seconds.my stress levels rise and adrenaline. Even though it's been 3 Years since iv even had a convo with him he has some control over me. I hate it and just wany some one to have been through the same thing so I can relate. No one understands :'(

 

[Dootsbec]

I understand completely cookiemonster. Hate, shame, guilt and yet and complete protectiveness and even love for your abuser. It's a result of the grooming process we endured. I don't have much advice as I'm just barely sailing these waters myself...but just know that someone (me) gets it completely.

 

[ms spock]

I have this problem as well @Cookiemonster with grooming with some psychologists.

 

[DreamLover]

I think it's terrible. It really shows the depth of sickness in a person. I can relate. Sorry. :(

 

[Whyteferret]

A lot of abusers groom, especially if they're in some sort of position of power.

What you feel about him is common. Confusion. My hunch there was grooming going on and he got you to the point you have feelings for him. Don't blame yourself for this or best yourself up over what you feel.

 

[Suzetig]

I was groomed when I was 14, my abuser was a 34 year old man and the "relationship" went on for 4 years. I thought I loved him and considered him to be my boyfriend. I still really struggle to identify it as abusive (while knowing that by any measure it was definitely abusive). Part of the abuse is the cartwheels your mind goes through trying to work out who to trust, whether I did something wrong and how much of it was my fault. It's horrible to try and pick through.

 

[Changing4Best]

Someone started to groom me when I was in my 50s, but a therapist I was seeing warned me away from him just in the nick of time. We don't realize what is going on, it all seems so innocent. We like feeling liked, not realizing that there are motives behind it. I had made it plain that I don't do sex outside of marriage. He did and said things which made me later realize that he intended to get me to change that decision. Each thing on its own seemed OK, but the sum total of it all was evil. You are not alone. It can happen to us at any age, so beware!