Had a bad day today - Does anyone else have a hard time controlling their anger?

[Sideways]

So really, what does it look like?

You might find it's often hidden under 'Emotional Regulation' for a lot of therapists.

DBT takes this to the next level, teaching a whole range of interventions that can be put in place to avoid the angry outburst altogether, and healthier options of things to do with those our of control emotions.

Well short of doing a 6 month DBT course? CBT practitioners often teach SUDS as a really useful way to avoid the outburst by learning how to recognise and act on the subtle build up (PTSD Cup in practice) that precedes apparently spontaneous aggression.

Longer term, therapy can help deal with the things that are causing the emotional bomb to build up in the first place. Processing with triggers can also be immensely helpful when its a specific trigger, rather than stressors, that set the aggression in motion.

Anger is an emotion, and the 'angry outburst' (or aggression) is only one way of expressing what is fairly standard among basically everyone with PTSD: the fight/flight response that our over-active amygdala keeps triggering. For a lot of folks, the freeze or flight options are the ones they'll be familiar with, but fight is just as common.

Treating ptsd necessarily needs to deal with that. They don't call it Anger Management, just like they don't call it Flight Management - but treatment of both is part of PTSD treatment.

Further afield? Any disorder that comes with emotional dysregulation typically has some mechanism for approaching the issue. DBT was designed for Borderline Personality Disorder, for example, where emotional explosions (often including aggression) are also par for the course. So even if your T isn't a trauma specialist, helping manage angry outburst will usually fall within their skillset.

 

[enough]

@Sideways
Like i said, more anger, better repression. Highly trained and honed to prrfection repression, but nonetheless just repression.
Anger is a normal response to adversity and if we are the unlucky recipients of undue adversity, we are also the unwilling caretakers of large volumes of corresponding anger. It isn't a symptom of a disorder to be treated like a facial tick, its the predictable result of having lots of normal responses to lots of lousy experiences. Ive given up on having a better past, and ive given up on forgetting my normal predictable response to a crappy past. I try to keep it in. I am pretty damn good at it. Call it management, call it education and enlightenment, it is repression.

don't poke bears you dont know, some of them will eat you up while you are wondering why you grew up in a world filled with bears but didn’ t learn that poking them is a bad idea. it isnt the bears fault he is a bear and he wont feel any guilt if he truly is a bear, even if he is trying very hard to be a good bear.

 

[Sideways]

its the predictable result of having lots of normal responses to lots of lousy experiences.

This is absolutely true. We've got a lot of things to be angry about.

The disorder part is when that anger plays out at aggression at some poor Joe like the OP described - that's a potentially dangerous outbursts of aggression. That's the part that gets addressed in therapy. Being (very reasonably) angry (emotion) about my past doesn't equate to outbursts of aggression (behaviour) in the present at others who cross my path.

So, anger about the past needs processing. We have every reason to be angry. Anger is appropriate. But feeling angry doesn't have to mean behaving aggressively. Nor trying to ignore the emotion.

Anger about the present is more complicated. And (JMHO) it's where therapy wins every time. Identifying the cause (is it a trigger from the past? Or a culmination or stressors?) and then learning other things to do with the emotion.

Anger is a fantastic emotion - it's an incredible motivator. Learning what to do with it can be really powerful. Repression is a coping strategy that has its place. But doing something useful with the anger is awesome.

 

[JSAEH01]

This is absolutely true. We've got a lot of things to be angry about.

The disorder part is when that anger plays out at aggression at some poor Joe like the OP described - that's a potentially dangerous outbursts of aggression. That's the part that gets addressed in therapy. Being (very reasonably) angry (emotion) about my past doesn't equate to outbursts of aggression (behaviour) in the present at others who cross my path.

So, anger about the past needs processing. We have every reason to be angry. Anger is appropriate. But feeling angry doesn't have to mean behaving aggressively. Nor trying to ignore the emotion.

Anger about the present is more complicated. And (JMHO) it's where therapy wins every time. Identifying the cause (is it a trigger from the past? Or a culmination or stressors?) and then learning other things to do with the emotion.

Anger is a fantastic emotion - it's an incredible motivator. Learning what to do with it can be really powerful. Repression is a coping strategy that has its place. But doing something useful with the anger is awesome.

I wouldn't exactly call the guy threatening me, walking up to my car with his fist ready to punch, saying the stuff he was saying an "average joe". I could have deescalated the situation but I didn't and that's my problem. I've already been to jail and I don't want to go back and I don't want to get caught up in a situation where I do something I regret for the rest of my life. This is why I self isolate because people scare me and I scare me. I agree with much of what you posted I just disagree with that part of what you said.

 

[enough]

I don't want to get caught up in a situation where I do something I regret for the rest of my life. This is why I self isolate because people scare me and I scare me.

There it is.
My sum total of interaction with people I don't have to interact with is in traffic. The rest I have no choice- I need food so I have a job. I took vowes so I am forced to be around her. Those interactions all take a toll on me, and I guess I have very little desire to add to that weight by seeking social ties. And why, why would anyone want to be near a potential ticking shit bomb?
Me and life have agreed, self isolation equals a more or less constant but maintainable amount of drain on my energy to keep my anger in check. What test pilots call an even strain. When they are in a high G load turn and it feels like the wing spars are about to bend or break is not a good time to give up on the strain load and make a sudden movement with the controls. The load will change, and that's when the wings do fall off. Maintain an even strain. Ease into it and ease out of it. Absolutely the best thing you can try for when the world has given you a high degree of strain to manage, beats the alternative. What pilots call augering in. Failure to maintain flight attitude. Or, as stated above, doing something I regret for the rest of my life.

 

[JSAEH01]

So the moderator @Sideways is going to misstate what I said and create a whole new narrative of my experience and just choose not to apologize or acknowledge their mistake? My life isn't a joke and I shared that story when I don't share stories with anyone because of this type of thing. Whenever you open up to people it's just used against you. Calling the guy who was threatening me some poor Joe, idk I hope that this doesn't happen to other people on here or. I guess I'm the only one and it doesn't matter. Something's you can't escape from and apparently people treating me and using me however they want is one of them.

 

[JSAEH01]

I would like for my post to be deleted

 

[anthony]

So the moderator @Sideways is going to misstate what I said and create a whole new narrative of my experience and just choose not to apologize or acknowledge their mistake?

No, they are interpreting as they read what you wrote. Everything isn't about you. People read things, they interpret, they respond. If inaccurate, then you correct them. Pretty simple, right? Without all the bullshit that you are creating. Moderators are members first, if they respond to you as staff, you will know it.

 

[JSAEH01]

No, they are interpreting as they read what you wrote. Everything isn't about you. People read things, they interpret, they respond. If inaccurate, then you correct them. Pretty simple, right? Without all the bullshit that you are creating. Moderators are members first, if they respond to you as staff, you will know it.

Excuse me? I wrote a post correcting them as you said I should and I received no response or any apology. Is that pretty clear to you? I didn't include bullshit in my posts. I wrote my experience and the moderator misstated what I said. Now y'all ganging up on me for no reason.