Happy 40th To Me.

[Bookoffee]

What a wonderful day. I am so angry I am shaking. Te day started out ok. I got up went to therapy and talked about how I want to view my 40th birthday as a new direction, a new start. Instead I come home and getting yelling and crying from my wife how awful our lives are and how much she hates it.

Things start to calm down and I assumed we put it aside for the rest if the day to celebrate my day.

No, she rather spend time in bed watching movies. Now she wants to talk because I was going to leave and celebrate my birthday on my own. Now I feel stuck in this miserable house.

Instead of a new start in life and I just want my life to end.

 

[Anrish]

I'm so sorry that your birthday got that miserable. ...is there anything you can do for yourself to comfort you? ...if you want to go out, do it. It's your day. I send you lots of encouraging hugs - and happy birthday. (I know stupid birthday...)

 

[Deleted member 1860]

It's your day to do as you please! Go out and do what you want! Don't let her ruin your day!

:hug:

 

[Justmehere]

:hug: bookoffee :hug:

My birthdays have been a time of arguments from time to time. It is so so so painful. My heart really goes out to you.

Your new start is not lost. You new start might be learning to find some way where YOU get to define the celebration for yourself, and not even have it dependent on the kinda tantrum-ish place your wife is in today. That does not by any means negate the pain of her actions... but maybe this is actually a very new start where you can define for yourself what the celebration will be.

The first year that I re-claimed my birthday from the crap others threw at me, it was really tough. I went to the movies, alone. The next year, I got ice cream with a friend. The next year I did even more. Now, I have birthdays that I like, and that I celebrate in a way where if one person in my life is having a really crappy day, even if we are super close, I can reach out to others to go celebrate with them instead.

New starts are good, and they are hard. Yours is not over. I challenege you to not give up!