Happy for an identity i actually don't have???

[shimmerz]

I have lost trust in professional Indian doctors after seeing him.

Sounds to me J like you are attempting to break the bond with your cultural identity and attempting to fit into another culture. To feel that 'tribal' feeling. That's a great step I think. You are seeking out an attachment of sorts that feels healthy to you. This is all good. Just try, if you can to feel in the good feelings and not the hurt place. Walk towards the light. It does little good to sit in the dark, you know? :hug::hug:

 

[J_trustno1]

Thanks @shimmerz, I'll try my best and work towards overcoming these barriers. :) :hug:s

 

[Ronin]

I have a different (set) of questions, J - what do you need done so you'd feel like fitting in with the new identity?
(It's been marked the old one and rebonding is not much of an option, because you keep getting thrown back to this or that trauma, so I'd be more thinking of what you need to move forward - it's very well possible to work out the old stuff on go).

 

[J_trustno1]

@Kaia: lots and lots of self work. I have overcome so many issues so far i.e from wearing all black for 13 yrs to color, from wearing lose pants to dresses, skirts and jeans, being able to talk to other people, not fear eating in front of others, trying to do things for me other than proving people wrong and striving for their approval (still struggling in this but better now). I probably need to have several good experiences with people from my culture and cutting out toxic ones before feeling one of them. I love my country, I don't like it when people put my country down (i support my country cricket team) but the main problem lies in people's mindsets and that entire male dominance which I have been seeing and fighting for since childhood. I love my food, I love the traditional cloths and even music, it's that thinking for women being the third class citizens that pisses me off.

 

[ms spock]

I think J, that you can start to acknowledge the things that you do do well, rather than letting that distorted thinking in your head put you down all the time. You have made great progress since I met you here on the forum and I would like to see you praising and acknowledging yourself. Look at all the people who respond to your posts, they are people that work hard on themselves and some are quite along way along the way in their management of their PTSD symptoms. You might want to start daily gratitude and join in a challenge on the forum. You have a lot going for you. Time to think about focusing on that for five minutes per day, if you can't now then think about it as a goal for the future.

 

[J_trustno1]

Thanks @Ms Spock, that's actually a really good idea. I did try gratitude for a week before starting work and I felt at peace. After joining work everything was all over the place. Now that I'm settled, I'll restart this practice. Thanks for always sharing your ideas.

Thanks to everyone for helping me with my confusions and problems :).

 

[ms spock]

it's that thinking for women being the third class citizens that pisses me off.

You are so not alone on that one J! And it goes across all cultures and classes - it just manifests in different ways.