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Broken Dahlia

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Today I had a meltdown, cried all day long. It wouldn't have been so awful except for the two clinics full of people who witnessed it at physical therapy and acupuncture. I was leaking and it wouldn't stop. I'm running out of physical therapy sessions and I started panicking; I still need a lot of help and insurance won't pay for anymore sessions.
Yesterday I had to ask my old physical therapist to void some of my sessions; it was horrible, as expected, but I wasn't prepared for the amount of vitriol I received. I spoke to the office manager because that's who deals with claims and she was incredibly angry and defensive. She said someone would call me back, of course no one did.

I almost cancelled my appointments today, I was feeling so sick. I went anyway, looking like crap, glad that at least the outside matched the inside. My pt asked what was wrong, I told him that as it always seems to go, the moment I find something good it is taken away. I can't afford to pay for more sessions. I finally feel like I am exactly where I need to be; I can't remember the last time I felt that way. I moved from the bike to a table to stretch, they brought me the whole box of tissues. The director of the clinic thought I was in a lot of pain and asked me what I needed, I told him a pile of money for health care.

After the treadmill my therapist told me that they had discussed it and would treat me pro bono for the next eight weeks! All they want in return is a good Yelp review! I still can't stop crying but now they are happy tears. I can't believe how lucky I am. I can't believe I typed that sentence in earnest.
 
About 8 months ago I was losing use of my legs due to complications from a workplace injury. The case is dragging through court.
While they fight over who pays I am losing insurance coverage, therapy, and the use of my legs, until they resolve this some many years in the future.
Then my job and income will go too. My lawyer said the case was at a standstill until "something changed". Two months later I was facing a wheelchair.
So I changed therapists and doctors - I found aggressive new ones who searched for answers. I got lucky. Scratch that - fortunate. I worked through a lot of pain in therapy and underwent tests for everything until they "guessed" what was probably wrong and what would probably work best for me. They must have had something right.
I started to show improvement, I again started to be able to walk and even do stairs. And then they said my limits on therapy were up. Just when I was starting to move again. Done. Finished absolutely. No more therapy.
My solution... I did some outside the box thinking. I found a health club (I hate them) that was open 24 hours. My therapist told me I could call or stop by once a month indefinitely for a free consultation. The health club is only $9.95 a month! - I can afford that:cool:... and I go three or four times a week and do all the same stuff my therapist had me doing. And I can call her and get adjustments and ideas once a month...
I really miss the one on one treatment, all the TLC I got from her, the resources. Its a big loss to me and it hit my security hard. But you know what, I AM getting better. I even went putt putt golfing last week for the first time in three years. I am healing. That's what counts. It seems I will keep the use of my legs and even regain many of my activities. I will always have pain:( but I will deal with that and medicate if need be. I go to the health club at off hours and am finding it to be becoming bearable. I'll be doing the health club "therapy" and icing my knees for the rest of my life. It sure beats a wheelchair. I hope you can find solutions that work. I really do.
I'm so glad:happy: to hear too that there are some decent people out there. A big thumbs up to your therapist.
 
About 8 months ago I was losing use of my legs due to complications from a workplace injury. The case...
I'm shopping for a new gym right now, because pt is only once a week and I need to do cardio a lot more than that. I'm recovering, just slowly. I'll probably be icing forever, too. I have CRPS and it can flare at any time; my ankle is huge right now.
I'm glad you are getting better and can still check in with someone- it makes such a difference having someone guiding this process.
 
Wow! What an AWESOME "gift", to be treated pro bono! Hardly anyone does that anymore! I do hope that you will continue to improve!
I've had meltdowns in public before, and it's really hard when we can't stop the "leak"! Pain can drive us SO far emotionally, when it is day in and day out. I have chronic pain, and it takes a LONG time to reconcile with the knowledge that it won't go away.

I, too, wish we had an "applauding" emoticon. I'll will improvise....{{{STANDING OVATION}}} for good people!
 
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