Harassment & Abuse - I Feel Helpless

[Kintsugi]

I'm so mad. Angry, scared, panicky, distraught.

I work with a disabled population that is not vocal. I have a co-worker who has been a bitch since I started with her. Anytime she got me alone. My co-workers (who are also new and came in with me) reported the same nonsense. Whatever. She does her job. I don't care.

Until she doesn't. And she blackmails/threatens me. And lies.

What she's doing would classify as abuse in my field. No, she's not beating anyone, but she's not taking any kind of proper care of them, either.

I don't know what to do. If I call and report abuse that occurred more than four hours ago, I could be legally implemented. But I didn't know this was going to be a pattern, and it's not overt at all.

If I report harassment, I'm really supposed to go through my supervisor, but there is no way in hell she would believe me. There's only one senior staff member who would, and he's irrelevant really to the situation. I don't even think my sup's supervisor would believe me, even though I'd like to think that she would. This co-worker is a senior staff member. She has clout. My manager thinks she's just perfect.

I told my manager months ago, in a not-so-serious manner, that I was terrified by this co-worker, and she laughed.

My manager also knows I have PTSD. Just thinking about working this weekend is making me want to break down. I can't get my adrenaline to stop tonight. I'm just so fried right now. Being purposely intimidated and then feeling like no one will believe me? Welcome to my trauma.

 

[joeylittle]

Can you document? In some states its illegal to tape private conversations and use them against someone (I don't remember the detail of how this works), but otherwise, if you had a micro recorder or some such, you could turn it on, put it in your pocket, and at least get some record of what this co-worker is doing to you.

I can't tell from your post - is this person putting the disabled population you work with at risk as well as threatening you? I don't have a good suggestion about that, just am sorry altogether that its happening.

 

[scout86]

My co-workers (who are also new and came in with me) reported the same nonsense

Have you talked this over with any co-workers? Maybe you should jointly report what's going on, if you're all having the same experiences.

 

[Larksong]

@Simply Simon What a horrible thing to have to deal with at work! I think the taping is a good idea if it's legal in your state. I think I once heard that in some states it's legal as long as one person in the conversation consents (that would be you!) and being in person vs. on the phone may have something to do with it too. (You could call your state's attorney general's office to ask, or look up the state statutes online). You should also document in writing the dates/times this happens and see if others witness it too.

 

[shandemonium]

GRRR. Sounds like every nonprofit I have ever worked for!! Bullies bullies bullies!! And some straight up psychopaths who were in charge of the whole place.

If I were in your shoes, I would start with going to see an employment lawyer with a list of hypothetical questions. That way you know where you stand and how to protect yourself.

#1. Protect YOU! We have a tendency to speak up for others before advocating for ourselves sometimes as sufferers. It's part of our big hearts and desire to see good in the world, but please remember to put your own bread and butter as #1 before taking any real action.

Once you know what your rights are and whether she has broken any laws, start a documentation plan. You don't need to record anyone's voice and frankly that could blow up in your face!

As I stated above, I worked in many abusive nonprofits and ran across this stuff. Paper documentation will hold better than any tape recording. If people find out you recorded them they will freak out and take this to a red zone. Start with paper when it comes to legal stuff in the workplace.

Jeez, I could go on and on, but start with a lawyer who specializes in employment. If you are a client based nonprofit, look for some other ways she is f-ing up such as HIPPA violations! Like, does she mention client's names and talk about their problems to co-workers? Stuff like that.

Wish I could be more helpful and feel free to PM me !

 

[Friday]

I don't know what to do. If I call and report abuse that occurred more than four hours ago, I could be legally implemented. But I didn't know this was going to be a pattern, and it's not overt at all.

The truth has many different presentations.

If I understand correctly, if you call to report the abuse you could be legally implicated because you did not report it sooner.

Presentation:
You noticed it today. Today is when the pattern became clear to you, and you understood the implications, and are therefore immediately reporting it.

Better Presentation :
You tell the same thing to a lawyer and have them say it for you.

 

[Kintsugi]

@shandemonium I actually work for the state... :eek: So... Yeah. She's committed fraud, abuse/neglect, and harassment. As a state employee.

@FridayJones I belong to a state employee organization with a legal team. Maybe I can call them? Yes, I could be at risk for late reporting. I work with her next this weekend. I'm scared to call the hotline. I'm worried I'll somehow get fired. A lawyer would be best, for sure.

I don't know how these things are investigated. I know someone on our staff was investigated because of a joke in bad taste and he straight up got THAT co-worker (the one who made a bad joke) fired for bogus abuse he made up. Wtf? How does this happen?

I know senior employees here have a serious upper hand. I'm worried about getting screwed in this whole situation. On the other hand, with the abuse factor thrown in... I can't NOT do anything.

This lady has been intimidating me (and my other new staff) and making us feel backed into a corner. She says things like, "If you ever tell someone I said this, I'll throw you under the bus. I'll call you a liar and make sure you take the fall."

Thing is... She really doesn't have anything on me. She's always telling us it's okay to do things that are completely wrong, like she ants to gather dirt, but I never do. But if she just out-and-out lied, given her status over me, she may very well get me fired.

I'm rambling at this point. I guess I need a lawyer. I just can't believe that's really my best option. It feels so wrong. We have all these people we can report harassment to as well as abuse, but I feel so sure no one will believe me. If an investigator comes to observe her, she'll know it was one of us, and she won't get caught if she just straightens up while they're there. That's what she does. That's why no one will believe us.

Me and the co-worker who has most seen this crap, we're in no position to do anything together. People already perceive us as being cohorts. I don't need them thinking this is some conspiracy.

My main idea was to go to human resources and tell them that I have a disability and feel terrorized by a co-worker. But that might not do anything and it won't solve the abuse issue.

 

[Friday]

How close is the legal team to your workplace? Meaning, would you be their client (whom they're going to be focused on protecting), or would your employer/the agency be their client?

 

[Larksong]

You might be able to claim protection under a state whistleblower law perhaps? See the website of the National Conference of State Legislatures where it lists each state's whistleblower protections.

 

[Kintsugi]

I'm their client. They're a private org that protects employees of the state I'm in, and their main function is as lobbyists and legal protection.

If I report abuse or harassment, *technically* they shouldn't be able to fire or demote me. But... Connections are everything.

 

[risingsun]

eing purposely intimidated and then feeling like no one will believe me?

I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Although I experienced multiple co-worker abuse, I had one woman who was worse than the others. She was severely abusive to me. But she managed to discredit me. I found this to be true with abusers. They discredit anyway they can. It is so unfortunate that workplace violence is not taken seriously. I left my job because of it.

My prayers are with you. I can't believe this woman is allowed to work with a non-vocal disabled population at all! Interesting that she chose such a population? Why, because they cannot speak up themselves. As for you, I am so sorry you have had to deal with her. I know how it is when they corner you alone. Stay strong. Know who you are and trust your instincts. Let that be your guide. Warmest to you, Rising Sun

 

[Nam]

I'm not sure what I would do in your position. My anxiety can be pretty overwhelming and all the plans I had made would turn to dust the moment it counted. I would do these things for sure: document time, place, events, and any witnesses to the event for every abuse she does from now on. Do your job the best way possible. Document where you can that you are doing it right. Be prepared to change jobs.

What is the time limit of when you see abuse that you are supposed to report it?

To change someone's perception of someone takes a long time. It usually takes multiple offenses. Keep your chin up. Hang tough. Be a duck. (let it roll off your back)