DID Hard to stay present

Compass307

Bronze Member
Hi all, I’ve had some pretty recent triggers lately and it’s made it impossible to stay present. I’ve found that I’m being pulled into my head more and more. The noise is so loud and I’ve had no success communicating because I am angry and ashamed. I don’t know what to do and my T said that they feel I need more support (meds, group) but I don’t trust easily. We’ve been working together for a while and now I feel like I’m too much. They didn’t say they wouldn’t keep seeing me but just that they can’t keep up doing it alone. I don’t know what happened this last session other than I felt small and felt in and out of the here and now and being there then. With no control. I don’t know what to do because I feel safe with my T and maybe that is why these things are happening in session. Bc where else are we supposed to go? I feel defeated.
 
Expanding your support network when you have DID can feel extremely scary. Does your T have any specific guidance on how you can do so? Recommended groups to join, etc.? The feeling of being “too much” is common and it’s difficult to work through, but your needs (and the needs of your parts) matter and are important. How often are your therapy sessions? In my personal journey, it’s taken a few years to begin building my DID support network and it’s been a slow process, but it’s been a major part of my healing.
 
Expanding your support network when you have DID can feel extremely scary. Does your T have any specific guidance on how you can do so? Recommended groups to join, etc.? The feeling of being “too much” is common and it’s difficult to work through, but your needs (and the needs of your parts) matter and are important. How often are your therapy sessions? In my personal journey, it’s taken a few years to begin building my DID support network and it’s been a slow process, but it’s been a major part of my healing.
Groups feel overwhelming to me. I’m considering another therapist to help me manage the more day to day stressors and staying with my current T for trauma work. But I don’t even know what the work is going to look like? I want to accept these parts but I’m so scare. My sessions now are spaced 2-3 weeks apart but I feel like it’s been so hard to cope. I don’t feel unsafe but it’s just been difficult to stay grounded. What does your support network look like? Any tips- I welcome it all because I’m at a loss.
 
My sessions now are spaced 2-3 weeks apart but I feel like it’s been so hard to cope
Gosh no wonder you find it hard to cope, doing active trauma work with a 2/3 week break between appointments is virtually impossible...

I'm the same with groups too, I can't access them, it completely overwhelms me/ various other parts and I crash and burn each time.

Can T increase sessions with you or slow down the trauma processing and use it for containment/ skill building... and get another trauma T who can see you at a higher frequency?

Secondary therapist sounds like a good option, building a team is really hard and something I've been trying for a while too after having a similar conversation with my OT about her not doing it on her own, very much one step forward and three back...

Other 1-1 theraputic support, often via charities (I'm UK) might be worth a look into. I'd concentrate on finding slow and gentle options that won't completely dysregulate you all... Maybe something like trauma informed yoga (can do 1-1) or arts or music based stuff. Nature things, sound/ forest bathing, community gardens, agricultural stuff, equine based therapies.
 
Groups feel overwhelming to me.
empathy, compass. being around more than one person at a time feels like sensory overload. it's all i can do to keep from running at full speed, screeching hysterically as i run. if the dreadful anticipation don't get me, the smells, sights and sounds of actual exposure will. that remains as true today than it was in the early 70's when i did my first group therapy meetings. the biggest diff between then and now is the surprise factor. neither the dreadful anticipation nor the sensory overload catch me off guard any more. i have developed considerable skill in using my therapy tools to manage both symptoms and using those tools helps ease that lost feeling that whelms me when my symptoms are running my life. is it odd that those same tools help me stay present? i still don't like group interactions any more than i like my daily bowel movement, but denying the need carries a stiff price.
What does your support network look like?
this has varied allot with need and circumstance over my 50 years of recovery from child sex trafficking. during the more psychotic phases of my recovery it looked like multiple therapy clinics each week, daily support group meetings, meetups with therapy peers as often as possible and a book full of numbers to therapy supporters, both pro and peer.

i have stabilized allot since the 20th century. these days my support network isn't much more than a few on-line sources, community participation and awareness of where more intense support is available, should the need arise.
 
Gosh no wonder you find it hard to cope, doing active trauma work with a 2/3 week break between appointments is virtually impossible...

I'm the same with groups too, I can't access them, it completely overwhelms me/ various other parts and I crash and burn each time.

Can T increase sessions with you or slow down the trauma processing and use it for containment/ skill building... and get another trauma T who can see you at a higher frequency?

Secondary therapist sounds like a good option, building a team is really hard and something I've been trying for a while too after having a similar conversation with my OT about her not doing it on her own, very much one step forward and three back...

Other 1-1 theraputic support, often via charities (I'm UK) might be worth a look into. I'd concentrate on finding slow and gentle options that won't completely dysregulate you all... Maybe something like trauma informed yoga (can do 1-1) or arts or music based stuff. Nature things, sound/ forest bathing, community gardens, agricultural stuff, equine based therapies.
Thank you for all of those suggestions. I feel so defeated— I’ve been trying so hard to manage and I believe I will get through it. But, now I feel more alone than ever. It felt possible when I had the therapy space… even just the awareness of it and the understanding that there is support there. But, now it just feels empty :(
 
Needing more support isn't a personal failing or that you are too much, complex trauma is just that... complex... having different elements of help all make up a better holding for you (all) to hopefully get some more stability. It's not a rejection of you or any part of you, even though I know it feels like that.

Can T help point you in the right direction of where support might be? It might help to link them in with each other or have T bridge that support over to another person, so it doesn't feel so overwhelming? Yeah, feel awful and vulnerable and exposing, little steps 🐌
 
A 2-3 week break between sessions feels like the problem to me. At my most unstable I was doing that many sessions per week! I’m back to once a week but I think it is just hard to maintain continuity at that rate.

I agree, more support is good. If not therapy support, are there things like trauma-informed yoga that you could add?
 
I have been there with that length of break and symptoms and for me it wasn't sustainable. I don't really have any good advice but I relate and hope things get easier.

Also, I love your name.
 
Thanks everyone for your replies and support. I’m going to start with adding another therapist to just focus on the more day to day experiences. I’m not wanting to try medication at this time and recognize it’s an option if I really feel I need it. I’m going to look into some type of trauma informed yoga as suggested or maybe art? And I’m going to be intentional about giving these parts some attention everyday but during planned times so maybe it will feel less chaotic inside.

If anyone has a tips for like communicating or even where I should be starting with treatment I would very much appreciate it. It’s overwhelming to me at this point.
 
Art- maybe have a look at neurographica (lovely and super accessible for anyone), art for well-being type stuff or anti perfection stuff. Then it's about the feelings and the system regulation as supposed to formal art (which is fab too, but it's hard to do that from the starting point of being very dysregulated).People teach online or in person all of this stuff on a 1-1, or YouTube for the no cost option. If it's for young ones it's perfectly ok to make a mess, let them be 'allowed' that time. I have colouring books that are very young, and playdoh, and I try to give time for that to be available (easier said than done as I'm not very tolerant of my diagnosis at the best of times)

Yoga, think the main thing to consider is it being taught by someone trauma informed, working with your body can be a bit of a minefield so someone aware and gentle is the key...
 

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