I find the past couple of months my depression has been worsening. I feel like I'm going back to how I used to be back in grade 8 when I was nothing but a shell. More often I have to pull myself out of bed for class, work or even just in general. I feel lonelier than ever and have reverted back to my old habits of faking a smile, or just appear like everything is normal. I haven't done that in years because I've been able to manage it, I've actually felt happy.
Flashbacks or daydreaming seem to be happening more frequently. Most still stem from my fling that happened last year, which leads to me feeling even worse because I want to be over it and some part just wants me to continue to suffer or cannot let go. In a way I find its good because I have more to voice to the psych I'm seeing in a couple weeks. I just hate feeling like this. I know its affecting my school, work, friends and family, they know something is up because I'm not my usual hyper, bouncy self. All my energy is focused on just appearing to be happy. I have nothing left to even bounce.
Flashbacks or daydreaming seem to be happening more frequently. Most still stem from my fling that happened last year, which leads to me feeling even worse because I want to be over it and some part just wants me to continue to suffer or cannot let go. In a way I find its good because I have more to voice to the psych I'm seeing in a couple weeks. I just hate feeling like this. I know its affecting my school, work, friends and family, they know something is up because I'm not my usual hyper, bouncy self. All my energy is focused on just appearing to be happy. I have nothing left to even bounce.
