Thank you Sunshine I relied on Wild Berry Lemsips, or as I call it "My own hug in a mug". I am now clear headed so i can continue my own experience of this.
Part 3
After we went back inside, Paula took me into a room with a large bowl of goldfish in it, and simple spiritual pictures on the walls, a really nice healing room, though it was a bit cold, the atmosphere felt warm and calm. She lit an incense stick to calm the air, and I now felt I was in the right place for me.
The next hour or so for me was spent filling in the forms that hubby had done on arrival, the usual stuff for there records but no name on most of them. Plus filling out a circle of life chart similar the the one below.
You marked on each section what you felt about each part by giving them a number from 1 to 10. You could split the sections into more parts if you wanted to, which I did for family and friends
You then joined the marks up to see how your circle looked. My first one actually looked like a pansy on its side. I was told hubby's looked like a heart.
All this took about an our then we sat and talked about my own hopes and fears, what I could be scared of with the changes that may happen over the next few days. How all the aspects of hubby's PTSD had effected me, what I had given up or lost due to it all. The reactions of family and friends, how many would or could not understand how our lives had changed so much because of it.
I told Paula I was scared he would change so much that I would be left behind, that I would still be stuck in the supporter mode, not being able to move forward with him. Holding him back from doing what he would possible be able to do, that he has not been able to do for so long, from fear of him running before he could walk and it all come crashing down around us. This then causing us to split and loosing all we had fought top keep hold of for so long. I had already fought long and hard to keep my home after my divorce, before I met him, I was scared this was something that could tear it all apart, because I would now get it wrong.
She reassured me that we could work with all that, and that I would be able to move forward with him, as well as taking my own path forward too.
By now it was almost lunch time, so we packed up and went to meet up with hubby and Adam, the guy who was helping him.
Not knowing the area, we were told that just up the road was a shopping area with cafe's and a shopping center.
This is where it hit me that what ever had been done in the last hour or so with hubby was already making a difference. He took my hand and off we went looking for a walk and to get a hot drink, only asking if I remember which way they told us to go.
A new one on me already, as he was leading the way.
We found the shopping center and went into a cafe, where hubby sat with his "back to the door", he never does this, and did have a choice of which way to sit. He sat there like it was an everyday thing, no stress visible on his face, nothing just calm and well, Normal. Something I had not seen for such a long long time.
We arrived back around an hour later, to them all asking how it had gone, and hubby with a big grin on his face, one I had not seen for so long. To be honest though, I was still waiting for the crash, hoping it would continue and this was not just a reaction to someone listen to him and truly understanding him for a change.
To be continued....
