Poll Has PTSD Caused You To Attempt Suicide?

[Privateer]

I'm the kind of person who enjoys dangerous activities even when I'm feeling great, so I don't count stuff like that.

I've thought about it a lot lately. Came the closest I ever have about two and a half months ago.

Had a row with my wife as I was having a panic attack and she was having troubles of her own. I decided she'd be better off without me and walked off down to the river.

I was standing there, in the dark, having what I intended to be my last cigar before jumping in when it was as if a voice in my head said 'There are worse things than death and some of them are coming this way tonight. Run.'

I suddenly became convinced that something awful was abroad down there and legged it back to the house.
My wife had gone to bed, so I just sat and drank until I fell asleep.


...and that was really hard to type. I'm feeling pretty horrendous today, though, and I hope that letting that out might help?

 

[Estacia]

My suicidal behavior has been because of the present time. There are times when I am going through flashback and I tell myself " I wish I was dead". That is just the thought at the time. I believe what I mean when I say it to myself ( I wish I was dead) I really mean I wish this would go away.

 

[InHell11]

I attempted suicide before I had PTSD, due to anxiety and depression.....I have thought about it though, and sometimes wonder how much longer I can take it without attempting.

 

[Abstract]

I voted "no". Suicide has been an almost constant companion since childhood. There are some levels of it when it is eminent, others in between and others more like compulsive thoughts. When I was younger risk taking behaviour was a big problem but I really don't know if I had full PTSD at that point.

What has stopped me is my care for others and ability to put myself in their shoes. I have seen the effects of suicide and no matter how self hating I have become or how much I think the world would be better off without me there is always a part of me that never looses the reality of someone finding me and my sister having to go through that again.

The closest I have come was almost stepping in front of a train whilst highly dissociated and purposely driving very fast and dangerously on a renowned dangerous road and whilst being very intoxicated.

A lot of my eating disorder behaviour has been very passively suicidal but again that may have been before I was fully PTSD.

I am pleased to say that this is much better now. There are times it is overwhelming and I do still think about it a lot but it is much less common that I feel on the verge of doing it.

I will not SU no matter how much pain I am in and because of the effects it would have on others. How some people can leave, "this will show you" letters is beyond my understanding.

 

[Shellbell]

The PTSD no, the trauma and abuse yes.

 

[goingonhope]

I don't know how, when or if I ever answered this poll. Once, I almost accidentally committed suicide.

 

[therapybankrupt]

Sadly I choose several attempts.:eek::notworthy::banghead::sorry: I will not elaborate as it may give ideas or cause triggers!

 

[Marine/w/PTSD]

I scored high on my asvab and was offered many non combat related jobs with high enlistment bonuses, but I turned them all down for spot in the front lines in Marine infantry, maybe that's my indirect suicidal attempt

 

[Andydh127]

Hey KP!!! Yeah, I know exactly how you feel!!! It's difficult to say the least!!! I've been/I am there. I've just finished PTSD sessions with a Psychologist and I thought I was "out of the woods" but I woke up the other morning feeling really bad!!! Today is another "significant date" and I feel low again..... Is medication the only cure for bipolar as a result of PTSD?

 

[Changing4Best]

I tried once and was out for something like 10 days, unconscious. I took 4 months worth of my pills. When I awoke, this nurse yelled at me for doing it! Then there was the recovery physically, which took maybe 5 days and then there was the mandatory stay in the mental ward, for 3 days or so if I recall. And when it was all said and done with, I still had the same problems I always had AND everyone was disappointed or mad at me for having tried.

After all that, I figured, if 4 months of meds didn't kill me, nothing was going to until it was my time to go, so I decided then and there not to ever try again. That was years ago, and I have stuck to my decision.

My life is in God's hands.

 

[jocko]

I think my eating disorder when I was a kid was a half hearted attempt, in some way; I wanted to just give up & drown at the time. I wasn't ballsy enough to just come at it consciously though, right on. When I was younger I always assumed I'd be dead by 20 for some reason, I sort of hoped for it. I don't know why I thought like that.

 

[Lady of Longbourn]

When I was younger I always assumed I'd be dead by 20

I used to think like that too. I didn't see a future for myself.