Poll Has PTSD Caused You To Attempt Suicide?

[txmomof3]

I have had multiple suicide attempts since I was 15...some I am only now regonizing as suicide attemtps. When I think about reckless behavior and hoping for death...that adds a whole new dimensions to it.

 

[Comatoze]

Re: engaging in high risk behaviour. I never do anything like this because, while i'm not afraid to die, i am afraid of getting permanant injured. PTSD might be bad enough on it's own, but no doubt PTSD in a wheelchair would be worse.

 

[Bella78]

My husband with PTSD has in the past few weeks begun to carry out a very destuctive life with a lot of risk taking behaviour. This includes drinking heavily, taking drugs, breaking our marriage vows, working crazy hours, driving dangerously and God knows what else. I wouldn't even know. I am all but out of his life now - his choice.

I just know he almost couldn't care less right now if the drugs, dangerous driving or anything else kill him. Just hope that does not switch to consciously attempting suicide, now that he has hit his deepest depths yet.

 

[Anonymoose]

I cope with chronic suicidal ideation by enjoying my favorite foods and beverages. I wish that this felt more like a conscious choice and less like a self-destructive compulsion. I also have hypersomnia and sometimes cocooning under the covers helps to ease the pain. I just feel that PTSD and past trauma have put an unbearable weight on my psyche and I can't escape that save through death. I'm not about to cause my own death before nature does, so I don't worry about the ideation too much but the feelings that accompany it are sometimes difficult to bear. Any suggestions on coping with the compulsive spending that accompanies my painful journey?

 

[indigo~in~0z]

i voted many times, all before i had a family,

now im guilt ridden with the fact of my kids need me... and how dare i do that to them and leave them behind... now i just fantasize about it sometimes... i will admit, in early family days, even taking my children with me... now i just be a martyr and stay around to torture all...

 

[cypher]

I put yes various ways. I get very reckless alot of the time. Very destructive to myself hoping I'll just go away for good. Stop wasting water and food someone else could be using among other things. Tried a few times, not sucsessful. Do I sound dissapointed.

 

[BassistKara]

I voted yes, many times.
The first was when i was 13, and drank so much in the hope that i would die, and needed my stomach pumped.
After that there was many times i would take too many psych meds of whatever i was on at the time. The first one i remember is i took a concoction of anti depressants, panadeine forte, shampoo, and a whole heap of other pills, went to school and started vomiting in the corridoors. I was asleep for 3 days straight after that.
I smoked a hell of a lot of pot, with the mindset "we're all going to die one day, so why prolong the inevitable", along with other drugs, hoping it would mess me up enough that i would do something to end it all for good.
I have drank ridiculous amounts of alcohol and slept with randoms, in the hope they would reinact my abuse but a million times worse, so i wouldnt have to do it myself.
I have been admitted to a psych ward twice, one when i was 16, and i was sectioned, which meant i legally had to be their as i was a danger to myself. The second was when the duty worker and my then psychiatrists office called the police on me, and they had to climb through the window to get into talk to me/take me to the hospital by following my dad dirving me their and make sure i was admitted, coz i wouldn't open the door to them.
I have tried to provoke my mothers physically abusive alcoholic partner, in the hope he would save me the trouble of ending it myself.
I have also OD'd on Xanax multiple times, especially when trying to overcome my addiction to it.
I have tryed mixing Paracetomol with Alcohol to cause myself internal bleeding.
I have tried numerous other ways, and done a whole heap of other risky things too. But i think that is enough info for now.
The good thing is, i am no longer suicidal, and 7 1/2 months 100% sober.
I still get rather destructive at times, with cutting, and relationships/letting people get close/not being able to deal with them caring. I am very impulsive too, and it scares me constantly that if i freak out so badly about something i may resort back to my old ways.

 

[Murphy's Law]

reckless behavior/ suicidal ideation

I voted no in here, very quickly. However, if I am honest, I think the first six months after my trauma was one long suicide attempt. Drank so much I have lost most of the memories. drove my motorcycle, which I have to explain is suicidal since I lost a hand in my trauma. Could only operate the gas. alot of Crown Royal, very little socialization except in dark yucky bars. Even woke up drunk in another country, that HAD to be suicidal behavior. Hardly recognize myself in there now.
More recently, I have struggled with suicidal ideation. Lots of thoughts were there, even as far as trying to find excuses not to die, but I never really made plans (Imight have thought, oh there is a bridge, I should jump. But never actually go over to the bridge, or even anywhere near it.), or went through with it.

 

[ChrisB]

Thanks all of you! I am not alone. Yes, I have attempted twice, once by pills and once by siting in the garage with the car running. Lucky for me my dog came in and barked his head off which caused me to stop. That dog saved my life. I bought a corvette because th eplan was to hit a bridge wall at over 150 mph. Now I enjoy the car and practice Mindfulness as I attack the negative thinking addictions. Looking back, I also put myself in many high risk situations at work. I was helping people but now I understand that there was more to it.

Let's all choose life.

 

[ruggedfiber]

I"ve only formally attempted it once. It was a cry for help and completely ignored (actually, not ignored...it made my mom sooooo angry, so... more hiding).

Lots of risky behavior though. More like a death wish.

 

[Mick]

I've never outright tried to kill myself but destructive behavior I can't believe I'm still alive. With drugs and alcohol I lose all control. I've put myself in so many bad situations.

 

[Lucky Laser]

I've never attempted suicide. I've had the idea that it would be nice to not have to live anymore, but I could never bring myself to cause myself harm.