Poll Has PTSD Caused You To Attempt Suicide?

[stillsad46]

I have attempted suicide several times, I did die once, in front of my children. It took severals hours to get me back. I still indulge in very dangerous behavior. I will welcome death when it;s finally my turn. More than anything I want to stop hating myself

 

[Mercy]

I have always assumed I wouldn't live long. My captors were so powerful that I carried their death threats in adulthood. Now any arguement, or feeling of being wrong or worthless sets my suicidal thinking off. Then, I begin planning. I loose sight my connection to my family.Helplessness and the pain of all the memories overwhelms me. I think 'they' were right. I don't deserve to live and I am alive only as long they allow it. I fight with suicide almost all the time. Survivor guilt is part of it for me.

 

[GR-ass]

I have suicidal thoughts often, first tried to kill myself by hanging when I was nine.

I have since tried pills, risk taking behavior (including walking in the middle of the highway at night and jumping off the side of Castle Hill) I've attempted overdose with anti-histamine's, I self injure (suicidal ideation) a lot- while not attempts every time, some times I do make serious attempts.

Yeah, not so much if its is wanting to die as just wanting to escape the life I am in.

 

[Dylan]

I have semi-attempted (consciously) twice: once with pills (but not enough to die) and once with razor blade (but not deep enough to get the artery - they're much deeper than they seem!).

I have participated in risky/dangerous behavior: going home from bars with strangers, leaving windows open when a serial rapist was in the city, walking home alone in dangerous areas, driving drunk, reckless driving, mixing drugs and alcohol.

I had obsessive suicidality most of my life, but now it's mainly just when I'm having a rough go of it. I think it's mainly a comfort thing - if I know I have a way out of the pain, I don't have to take it...if that makes sense.

I still, though, have a sort of careless (or maybe it's careworn) view of living. If I have a close call, say in traffic, I may react instinctively to avoid the danger, but my immediate after-thought will be, "Well that (if I'd died) would have been ok, too". I work toward the day when life is more joyful than a strain and I don't look at death as a relief from the endless push. I think Sisyphus must have had PTSD (heh heh).

-Dylan

 

[joyfull]

Well I attempted suicide a couple times but was it PTSD, Alcoholism, sadness???? I don't know. It is hard to say what other than an intense feeling of separation and utter loneliness and shame. I am grateful that was so long ago.

 

[NarcSis]

thought about it,

I have never actually made an attempt, but have thought of it, so I voted No. Might be because I live in the area I work - couldn't do that to my coworkers, nor could I do that to another medic.
On the other hand, wishing for accidents occurs very frequently with me and I am not as safe minded as I used to be.

 

[Salu]

The answer would probably be no. But I have thought about it once when I was taking AD-s. And then I got scared, but so far that´s about it. I have been enough in hospitals to know how wrong these things can go.

 

[UmightKnowMe]

I voted no but I was FULL of suicidal ideation and plans and all for many many years. Guess I was too chicken to go for it. I did do a lot of risky behavior though...drunk driving, being in bad parts of big cities alone, going places with strangers.......

 

[Lion]

Voted no as I know all too well what happened to my mind and life when I found the body. I spent way too many years trying to figure out why this was put on me, which is a moot point as there is no answer to the question.

For people who think it's so bad you have to end it, try to remember that you're going to leave survivors who will endure suffering a helluva lot longer than you can ever imagine.

 

[Grama-Herc]

While I voted no to this question, I must confess that prior to diagnosis there were many many times where I would think to myself, "I'll fix them, I'll just kill myself and then they will be sorry." I am just glad I never did follow through.

Often I wonder why I did not and have come to the conclusion that it was selfish and would hurt my mom beyond words. I just could not do that to her.

Now that I've been through therapy and have a better working knowledge of why I think and act like I do, I must say that I think suicide is an extremely SELFISH act.

Just My Humble Opinion

 

[stephanie]

I said no, but I have wished many times over that I had died instead of surviving the shooting. Yeah, I have my better days, but overall...living this way sucks.

 

[Jagged Angel]

For me it has been more in the line of risk-taking behaviour. I attempted suicide knowingly once, but have engaged in many forms of other behaviours that I realise now were attempts to suicide: alcohol poisoning, OD on cocaine, driving drunk, driving recklessly, teetering over the edge of high places, going to dangerous places at night, allowing people to do what they wanted with me sexually (and in BDSM), entering relationships with dangerous people.

Fortunately, these days, I have given up all of that. I do want to live.