Poll Has PTSD Caused You To Attempt Suicide?

[Robin]

I said yes only once, as I only once decided this is it (pills), I have had enough and it needs to be over now and actually acted on it. But I also go through stages where all I can think of is suicide, and the big thing is I then think I just want to walk in from of a bus or a train and it will all be over.

Don't know if this counts, but looking at my behaviour I have kept placing myself in dangerous situations, all the time hoping something will happen. It is usually at night when I cant sleep and then get get so angry and frustrated that it boils over and I either get in my car and drive or I go for a run, till I can't run anymore. In S.A. neither is a safe option. Even going for a run in the daytime by yourself is not concidered that safe here. But I feel I need to do something to make it all go away, now! But in a way (as a coward does) that it does not look like suicide, just maybe stupidity?

Sometimes think my gardian angels work overtime!! No matter what I throw at them.

 

[LoveWins]

I have jumped out infront of a train (pulled back, I wasn't in a stable frame of mind and mistimed) and overdosed (didn't work)

I've also done serious harm to myself in risky behaviour or come close to suicide on many occasions, including throwing myself down a large flight of stairs, cutting myself, taking lots of unknown tablets, drinking a huge amount and walking the streets at night, standing ontop of tall buildings, holding knives to my chest, long list really

This was years ago during my abuse (although I did already have PTSD at that point) I still get recurring thoughts of suicide when I'm at my lowest but never act on them, havent done for years (since being with my husband more or less)

 

[lrs]

I have not ever tried to outright kill myself. I would be dead if I did.
But I have engaged in high risk activities since I was 17.
Looking back some of the things I did were horrific.
Once, in 1997, My truck had some bad gas, long story there.
But I decided to fix it myself.
I remember I loosened up a fuel line, and drained the gas into a large plastic tote box.
My shirt was saturated with gas.
I remember thinking one tiny little spark, and that's all she wrote. Oh well, who gives a rat's ass? So I go up in flames, might not be too bad.
I think someone upstairs was really, really, really looking out for me that day.

 

[liv now]

I said yes because I have at numerous times over my life put myself in high risk situations hoping I would die. I found it very hard to admit this. So much easier to be in denial.

 

[wildfirewildone]

The absolute truth

Yes I've tried about 10 different times to "off" myself. There were 3 times in my elementary school years : freezing in sub-zero temps, crawling under a tarp over wood chips in extreme heat, again in cold weather by causing an avalanche of snow so I'd be smothered. I don't even want to go into my "adult" attempts. Now I realize when I really want to "end-it-all" and take myself to the hospital.

 

[Conjurus]

I've only attempted suicide once. I've had the urge to attempt it several, several times. That's why I got my two little brother's names tattooed on my upper arms in japanese lettering. It's in japanese so that I can tell who I want to know and leave it a mystery to those I don't. The tats serve as a constant reminder for me that I have family that loves me and I love them; even if I don't feel that I love myself I could never hurt them by killing myself. I know it's not even an option. Thankfully I wasn't successful the one instance that I did try to.

 

[Diore]

Had the idea so very many times. Never actually made an attempt though. Usually I find that sleeping it off, or at the very least withdrawing under the covers for a few hours, will kill the feeling.

Ironically, the closest I ever came to an attempt was the side effect of a PTSD medication! I'd been on it for about 2 weeks, then all of a sudden I had intense suicidal feelings that I could not kill for days. One of my friends suggested I check in with my psychiatrist, who recognised right away that it was a side effect of the meds. But it was still several days of fighting against myself (and being pretty useless for anything else) before the feelings wore off...

 

[tryintobreathe]

I answered yes, many times. Once I drove my Mustang at 60-70mph staight into a telephone pole. Killed the car & the pole but not me. I tried ODing more than once. Once I became a mom though, I didn't try again. I THOUGHT about it many times, but I couldn't do that to my children.

Jen

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Too many attempts to remember. The last 3 were all within a week of each other, about two months ago. I wish I could say I learned my lesson, but still have the intrusive thoughts to just end it all. Fortunately, i haven't acted on any of them, by some sort of miracle.

 

[Paloma]

For some reason it won't let me post my vote...says I voted but I haven't.
Yes...I tried to blow my brains out and the gun misfired or safety didn't release. Like Sila...it was part reaction to benzos and part psychotic period of first PTSD meltdown. It was very unlike me and thankfully no repeat. Lots of risky behavior when I was younger...slow motion suicide?

 

[Ruth09]

No,... But, the meds sure wanted me dead. Its really sureal to "watch" yourself have these thoughts.

 

[Spacechic]

Yes. I have been down that dark path, where rationale seems to be gone. It doesn't matter if you have loved ones that care, you just can't see the forest for the trees.Things become too much and you feel as though you just can't do this any more.