Have I Put My Self In Danger ??

[J_trustno1]

I know this may sound ridiculous to the staff and other members here.

I joined this site few months ago and it has provided me with a lot of useful strategies and I have met some really good people here. However, I am constantly doubting myself for joining this forum. I know all the instructions and safety guidelines were given and any information I provide here is at my own peril.

I was at the gym and there was a TV show at the gym TV called, "Jeremy Kyle - Talk show host Jeremy Kyle battles a myriad of problems from the British public". In this particular episode they invited a family where the mother suspects her daughter for being a secret prostitute because of her posting nude photos on internet.
The host Jeremy was asking her why she was putting herself in danger.

As soon as I heard I started asking myself this question whether I am risking my life by sharing about my traumatic life here? What goods will it bring if someone in future finds out (could be work place, future partner or even my family). It had me worried and forced me to think whether I am actually cheating my mother or brother by having joined this site and talking about her toxic relatives. I know that no one on this site forced me to join it or asked me to post questions relating my past. I should know n realise that it is my life and I should do things feeling free but I still feel I need to be that same old mummy's girl and telling her every little secret of mine. I feel I don't have this kind of freedom.

I'm just having trusting issues right now. I know that it is a World Wide Web and anyone can access this information about me and I joined n asked questions at my own risk and no one here is to blame.

Just some comments from other members regarding my situation. Btw, I didn't ask this question to be banned or to piss the staff off so please be kind.

Thanks

 

[Deleted member 1860]

I think it is imperative that you break free of your controlling and abusive family. I think a lot of what you say is actually their thoughts and views just funneled through you.

Do you take care to conceal your identity? I mean you don't use that username anywhere else, you don't post personal identifying details, and you are careful to clear those cookies if you use a shared computer/device.

I know I have posted things that are unique to me and that if someone I know closely would discover that I'm here, then yes, after reading a whole helluva lot of posts, they could probably identify me. But anyone outside my inner circle? Nope. I know I've posted a lot of details about my recovery, but at the same time I only share them here and with my treatment team, as well as family and friends at times. I think the *risk* is worth it because I've learned SO much by being here. Honestly, there is no other place like this forum.

 

[Jezanna]

I agree with solara. I understand your mistrust as I feel the same way and my mom can barely retrieve her own emails. Yet it still crosses my mind. It also occurs to me that my ab users are so narcisstic that it probably would never occur to them to check up on me. They are Too into their own sorry lives. That somehow made me feel better.

 

[Tanishq]

Jess, You are safe here and people respect your privacy here. :)

 

[Philippa]

If you have not used your real name and you do not show your face, how could anyone possibly know it is you unless they actually break into your computer? But even then, if they don't know you are a regular here then why would they bother checking this forum?

 

[SwordsPandaGirl]

My T told me that it is good to share your worries and experiences (especially trauma). Keeping it in side and a secret is harmful to your mental health. Here we are all free to share with others who understand and can help and we can all do so anonymously if we wish to. Therefore I would encourage others to express themselves how ever they want to, wasn't having gone through so much pain in past bad enough, if we now have to keep it a secret in the present? I don't know about you but just the secrecy is enough to make me go insane.

I have often wondered the same thing when I graduate, what professionals (Boss's) would find about me over the internet, especially after having taken a module on electronic crime at my University. However, I don't think they would ever think to search for me under the name of 'SwordsMistress' and so it is extremely unlikely that they would link me to this site.

The point I'm making (like many above me have already said) is that if you make sure to go by an anonymous name, they shouldn't be able to find you. Even so, I did a search on google with SwordsMistress and it didn't take me to this site either. Considering I have used this name on numerous other online sites or gaming even lol it still didn't show up.

SO take a deep breath. Everyone has the right to be free like you said. I believe this is a safe place in which we can all be ourselves and are accepted (which is something I don't feel like in real life) and no one needs to know you are part of this site either. If you need any help/ideas on how to make sure others wont find you on the internet PM me :)

 

[arfie]

All the dangers you listed are real, along with many other dangers in the world. When I let my anxieties over those dangers send me into hiding, I discover even uglier phantoms follow me into my hidey holes. Nightmares. Lack of exercise. Loneliness. Memories. Etcetera, etcetera.

Fear does not exist to make you afraid. It exists to warn you of danger. ~Zen proverb

I try to stay mindful of the hyper-vigilance of my PTSD. It causes me to feel danger where there is no danger. But there are very real dangers in the world. When an anxiety attack hits me, I do a physical inventory of my immediate surrounding. If I find no danger there, I gently set it aside as hyper-vigilance. I repeat as needed. Gently.

Gentle support and validation as you sort through your own, jess.

 

[scout86]

whether I am risking my life by sharing about my traumatic life here

"Risking your life" in what way? Physically, or something else?

forced me to think whether I am actually cheating my mother or brother

"Cheating" how?

Just wondering about the basis of your concerns. Are you just worried about online security, or is there something else behind it?

 

[J_trustno1]

Thanks to all for sharing their views on this post. I have been vulnerable in the past and was almost raped by a friend n his wife who did enough to groom me. Whenever I come to think of last year when I opened the lid of my past to everyone, I got into trouble. I have been sharing my information to random internet friends and no harm was done. However, when I did this last year with real people: majority wanted to take advantage of me, use it against me, laughed at me, and even abandoned me. I was considered less of a human which I have been dealing with for the past 14 yrs of my. It just worries me what will happen to me if this happens. I have been watching real life related documentaries where the world isn't a safe place where women are used as a sexual object and it is just putting me off from everything around me. I feel like I am imprisoned. It's my insecurities speaking up here.

@SwordsMistress : I did search for my name in google and sadly it came up. I am worried what if someone can find this name out easily even if it is not my real name. Just too damn paranoid

 

[digger]

I have been watching real life related documentaries where the world isn't a safe place where women are used as a sexual object and it is just putting me off from everything around me. I feel like I am imprisoned. It's my insecurities speaking up here.

Stop watching them and feeding the insecurities. Or if you need to watch them, balance it with some positive stuff too. If you are restricting your viewing to this sort of thing (?) then you're going to end up with a pretty skewed and biased impression of the world. Remember bad news sells better than good news, but it doesn't mean good news doesn't happen.

@SwordsMistress : I did search for my name in google and sadly it came up. I am worried what if someone can find this name out easily even if it is not my real name. Just too damn paranoid

Do you mean you searched your real name and it came up with this profile here?

 

[J_trustno1]

@digger : I have watched those realistic documentaries about those drug addicts, domestic violence, human trafficking, people having extra martial affairs, etc etc which relates to problems of our society. And now I am anxious and can't sleep.

I searched up using this profile name on google and it shows me being a member in this forum and comes up with my links :(

 

[digger]

Links to what? Other things that reveal your real identity?

Do you think you could stop watching those sorts of programs for a while? Does it feel kind of compulsive to watch them?