Have to interact with abusive father while his dad sells house I was going to inherit

[littleoc]

Thank you. This is very difficult, but I'm at a point where I'm ready to lose the house. It's not worth it and sounds like my grandpa just wants the money out of it, according to the realtor.

Just need to rehome the animals .

Realtor claims he won't judge. Just needs 15 mins to see how toilets run and such. Didn't bother telling him one of the toilets is a genuine antique and the other is one of those 80s/90s water-saving ones that supposedly never overflows (but always thinks it's clogged)

Was talking to my brother about the house and how it's an heirloom type of house, not an investment. It's a money sink . But now it's not my problem

My entire brain is different now. Don't want pets. Don't want a house. Don't want any items or any money. Nothing fixes anything. Just want it done.

Will have to wait around for my brother who did not prepare a plan b. He thought id keep paying bills for him forever apparently.... Very annoyed because he only paid bills once, and only because the Internet got shut off. (He tried to pay just that but I told him any money I got would be going to the electric bill, not to internet. And THEN he finally paid 1 bill and hasn't offered since. A big deal because he thinks he co-owns and was trying to tell me he has a right to use my dishes and not wash them. When my dead mom's dishes are also available, by the way.)

It is a mess. I don't care anymore but want to cooperate for my grandpa. I know he feels bad about this.

 

[littleoc]

The realtor did not share the date or time with my bio dad about looking at the house, and was here so briefly (5 mins) that he would not have had time to get here. So he'll have to wait until I've vacated the house now to go through the things in abandoning

Thanks all

Very stressed because technically nowhere to go, but good outcome for sure on that part at least

 

[littleoc]

Going to get the last animals re-homed asap and then put my stuff in a storage unit and wait for my little brother to get out. And then I will be out permanently

And will just go to the mental hospital from there

Edit to add: no promises for what happens after that. Might stay with a monk if group home falls through. Still not sure if I can stick around for live after everything and with basically my future messed up this bad. But. Yeah at least bio father wasn't here

 

[ms spock]

I don't know what to say. I appreciate you.

I totally understand why you feel the way that you feel right now.

 

[Movingforward10]

So glad that he wasn't there and you didn't need to deal with him.

Sitting with you.

 

[littleoc]

Thank you

 

[littleoc]

Realtor is under the impression that my Grandpa is selling the house to cover his retirement home expenses. He almost had me move in with him but changed his mind and chose the retirement home. I'm told it might be 8k-13k a month -- he was a millionaire for years, before my dad ruined it for the entire family, basically? So presumably he chose a fancy place with the expectation of selling my mom's house. Which I was supposed to inherit twice now.

I do not care to inherit it now. Enough animals are re-homed that I no longer want it. It had been a huge relief to see all the things wrong with it and realize it's not my problem anymore.

I have hired multiple professionals (and volunteers) over the last decade to clean it out. My dad messed it up so bad that after two decades we still have never recovered the house. One professional I could only get a quote for -- he told me it would cost over $100,000 Minimum to fix the house completely.

And I will be abandoning the racist homophobic trump neighbor who has threatened me multiple times, and I've had to call the police on.

Relator thinks it's a good neighborhood. It pretty much is. So good for whoever fixes it up.

Relief happens every time I look at a huge problem. I assumed I'd be well into my 50s (I'm in my 30s now) before it was halfway done, if I ever got the funds. I was worried about the pipes, crawlspace, roof, ceiling, and much more. Water heater. Etc.

So. There's that.

Not sure what I want to do when I'm out of it though. But f*ck dad's side of the family. They were always very proud of our heritage -- everyone should be -- but I was taught they were more proper and better than my mom's side. Mom's side were poor, French and Irish side. Dad's side is Ukrainian Jewish, lots of famous artists, in the music industry in general in Nashville. Rip Dolly :(. But I AM proud of that. But my dad is wrong that they're better than the poor Irish and French side. As the money has run out -- and since I never saw a cent of it, and grew up so poor except when my grandparents intervened by necessity -- im seeing they're the exact same kind of family. If anything, the dysfunction is worse because it was covered up with spending money.

My mom's side of the family have never defended pedophile abusers to keep a good image or protect the pedophile abusers from the rest of their family from finding out.

And my mom's side would never have allowed all this to happen.

Glad I grew up with my mom. Glad my mom was kind. Wish I'd been more appreciative of that when she was alive. But very glad she's not around to see this happen. At least, not in a way that effects her. she doesn't care about that stupid house anymore.

If anything I'm glad I will finally not have to do what my dad's side of the family says all the time now. They will have nothing to do with my actual life. Dad claims to be getting a lot of cartel money/money laundering deals of 300k+, and I think he wants to use it to help my brother and I out, but no. No amount of money would fix this situation. And his credit is so bad he can't buy a house with it anyway. Or he's lying about the amount of money he's getting, or how he's getting it, and who cares if so.

Weird situation. I hope Buddhists are right and my dad gets a millennium of second chances to figure out where he went wrong and do better. Even though Buddhist hell beliefs suggest he'll be going to hell. Not sure I believe in hell exactly but. Yeah

Idk, I don't feel satisfied emotionally after writing this. This last two years have been the worst of my life. Being a sex slave at age 10 to adult men was much easier. Genuinely.