Have you ever told a friend offline you were struggling with suicidal throughts?

[Justmehere]

If so, how did it go?

 

[Freida]

Yep. The night everything came crashing down I called my bestie, who lives in a different state, and told her I was done and I needed her to take care of hubby. She told me no - that I needed to get my shit together and figure out what was going on with me. Then she and hubby ganged up on me until I gave in and called the crisis line.

Making that call was the toughest thing I think I've ever done but I'm glad I did it. And I would have never done it if I hadn't told them first

 

[419can.dance]

Yes. The best decision I could have made. They immediately got me to the hospital and even sat with me through intake.

 

[Vee]

It's always better to let it out than keep it in. Sometimes I have intrusive suicidal thoughts as a result of the anxiety and depression that I had even before events happened to give me PTSD. When I have these, I immediately call a close friend and tell my spouse, and make sure I am not alone for the next couple of days. I remind myself of the things in my life that I do enjoy, and the goals that I have, and I think about those who would be hurt if something were to happen to me. I think of people who have survived worse, like Holocaust survivors, and realize that if they those people can carry on, I can too. I try to recognize it for what it is--a relief from anxiety and depression that I want, not my life to end. If they keep up for more than a few days, then I call my doc and therapist and make sure I go in ASAP. Luckily, these episodes are few and far between.

 

[Justmehere]

I don’t know how to reach out to people in this place. I’m super good at reaching out for distraction, where no one knows I’m having a bad day... but I don’t know how to say something about where I’m actually at, especially when it’s so dark, and not have people RUN.

 

[Justmehere]

How did you tell your friends? Is there anything you did in telling them hat helped it to go better?

This just... it baffles my mind. Everything in me is like, why would I tell anyone?! And yet, I totally know that it’s advised to reach out to support systems. I mean, it makes sense. I’d want to know if friends were in that place. My therapist knows, crisis lines are not helpful, and I endure... and it is what it is...

I am fighting shame and trying to fight all the ways I feel like I’m too much, mostly because I’m sick and tired of the damn shame and all the hiding.

 

[whiteraven]

Only once. When I was in high school. Worst decision I ever made. She told the school psychologist and he met with both of us, telling me I needed to reassure her I only said it to get attention.

That pretty much sealed what I knew about "carers." They don't.

 

[Vee]

How did you tell your friends? Is there anything you did in telling them hat helped it to go better?...

I wouldn't tell just any friend, and I don't tell all of my friends, but I have learned that each person struggles with something. So if they're a good enough friend that they have told me about what they secretly struggle with, I usually feel safe enough to tell them about my battles with GAD, depression and PTSD.

 

[Ronin]

I have the tendency to reach out post attempts, if I do not remember I am doing whatever I am supposed to be doing right.

Damned darlings, them. Still do not want to be and pester in their life, but damned glad they are in mine.

As to telling before? No way in hell. Because I am calm, everything is clear, and everything is Fine.
Mostly really, really need people that will simplify things for me. 1 + 1 again being 2 and not 3201YouShouldBeGoneByNow.

 

[Tinyflame]

Yes that's about it @Ronin , exactly.
Head says one thing, heart says another.

:hug:

 

[Chris-duck]

I have two different types of suicidal thoughts, like where I'm really obsessive about it and worry that I'll act or where I actually want to act.

For the first type it's pretty easy, cos I'll be able to be like "hey, can I crash at yours for a night cos my brains being a f*ckwad?" And that's cool.

Second type I think is more difficult, cos telling people has to kind of override everything your brain is saying. Like you need to acknowledge there's doubt there before saying anything makes sense. And it's harder for people to help with. Keeping you safe is obviously the same actual act but it's easier if suicide doesn't seem the right choice already I guess.

As far as telling people goes I've always been relatively open about it and so have my close friends. I don't have any solid advice except pick someone you trust and that you've spoken about hard things with before and they've reacted well.

Hope things go a bit better for you soon

 

[Tinyflame]

I was thinking about this, and I think it's very important for those who have family or loved ones/ children to remember how devastated you would be if the shoe was reversed, that it would destroy you if they did it, or at least profoundly impact on your life. I think that would be because you would think there's nothing they could do/ have done that changes the fact that they are loved, and needed (by you). And that they would feel as you can imagine you would if they did it. For those without family or loved ones or where it's combative, that is more tricky. But decreasing pressure and stress or feeling trapped might help, so speaking to someone you could trust with both those considerations might be helpful.