Have You Experienced Objectification?

[BlueOcean]

I found a great site - Out Of The Fog - with detailed info on CPTSD & other disorders.
I read this and it is an exact description of how my mother has always treated me.

Objectification
The practice of treating a person or a group of people like an object.

University of Chicago Professor Martha C. Nussbaum classified Objectification into the following categories:

• Instrumentality - Instrumentality is when a person is treated like a tool for another person's own purposes.
• Denial of autonomy - Denial of autonomy is when a person is denied the right to make decisions for themselves.
• Inertness - An Assumption of Inertness describes when a person is treated as if they lack the capacity to act for themselves.
• Ownership - Ownership describes a condition where one person is treated as if they are owned by, or is a slave to, the other person.
• Fungibility - Fungibility describes a condition where one person is treated as if they are dispensable or can be traded or discarded by another person.
• Violability - Violability describes a situation where a person is treated as if it is ok to hurt, or destroy them.
• Denial of subjectivity - Denial of subjectivity describes a condition where a person is treated as if there is no need to show concern for their feelings.

Website is: Out Of The Fog - Personality Disorder Support & search for objectification
(This thread wouldn't post with words linked directly to the article or with website address pasted in.)

 

[Chosen]

I experienced all of those things inside the cult I was raised in. :(

 

[BlueOcean]

@Noah wow.. glad you were able to get out of it!

 

[Hope4Now]

Many of these fit for me!

 

[shimmerz]

Yes to all. This is a great link thank you so much! Makes me feel I was groomed perfectly in the early years to fall into these traps. I would love to know how many of us had some and not others or if it is common to have most to all.

@Noah, I was partners with a man who was raised in a cult. That is a strong thing to get out of those. I saw it with my own eyes. Kudos to you....

 

[billie]

Unfortunately I am on that train too. :(

 

[Springer80]

Yes of course I have. I'm a (western) female. Their is an political organisation in the UK called Object whose whole manifesto is to try and remove the pervasive imbalance in our culture. I grew up in a household that was laden with it, I went out to school, work and college with people who were all indoctrinated by it. At 12 once the abuse started I experienced it in high definition every day, being leered at by men as a 12 year old is frightening. And then in my leisure time I'd have it fed back to me in tv, film, books, sport and if I went to the shops I could buy it.

I guess you could fairly say, I have had my fill.

 

[Laura 2]

@BlueOcean
Thank you for posting this.

Yes, I've experienced all of those. From NHS, police, friends and family. Over a decade.

I identify with what the Out of the Fog C-PTSD page says here:
C-PTSD results more from chronic repetitive stress from which there is little chance of escape.

When people have been trapped in a situation over which they had little or no control at the beginning, middle or end, they can carry an intense sense of dread even after that situation is removed. This is because they know how bad things can possibly be. And they know that it could possibly happen again. And they know that if it ever does happen again, it might be worse than before.

C-PTSD sufferers may "stuff" or suppress their emotional reaction to traumatic events without resolution either because they believe each event by itself doesn't seem like such a big deal or because they see no satisfactory resolution opportunity available to them. This suppression of "emotional baggage" can continue for a long time either until a "last straw" event

The "Complex" in Complex Post Traumatic Disorder describes how one layer after another of trauma can interact with one another. Sometimes, it is mistakenly assumed that the most recent traumatic event in a person's life is the one that brought them to their knees. However, just addressing that single most-recent event may possibly be an invalidating experience for the C-PTSD sufferer. Therefore, it is important to recognize that those who suffer from C-PTSD may be experiencing feelings from all their traumatic exposure, even as they try to address the most recent traumatic event.

 

[Laura 2]

@Springer80

You make some crucial points.

A recent EU-wide survey concluded that 50% of UK women identified as having been sexually abused in some way during their lives.

ANY form of sexual abuse is traumatising to some degree or other.

Yet, this epidemic of sexual abuse towards women is utterly ignored. After many years of this abuse, many women are written off as 'neurotic' when they go to the doctors with anxiety-related conditions or physical conditions that are exacerbated by anxiety.

You're right - this abuse and sexual objectification is so all-pervasive that it's utterly ignored. And doctors and 'experts' wonder, if they think at all, why women are more prone to 'anxiety disorders'...

the pervasive imbalance in our culture. I grew up in a household that was laden with it, I went out to school, work and college with people who were all indoctrinated by it. At 12 once the abuse started I experienced it in high definition every day, being leered at by men as a 12 year old is frightening.

I hated being so leered at. As I look back, I was scared of this leching all the time as a young woman. As I've grown older I've actually welcomed not looking so attractive. (Isn't that appalling that one has to be ashamed of how one looks and try to deter attention...??)

Only this morning, I realised that I don't wear make-up and I 'dress down' in my current living situation because there's a man locally who actually made an inept drunken pass (which stopped just short of sexual assault) at me a little while ago. THIS type of situation is, I believe, very common for most women at many times in their lives.

I love being a woman, but I hate it that I cannot be all of who I am because of drawing unwanted attention. I hate it.

 

[silkleaves]

Into The Fog is an amazing website that I found a year or so ago... I really do love it and have read through it a few times, always finding something that I'm able to relate to / find understanding every time I read it. Its a great resource.

All the things listed there I can say I've been through, due to my mother really. I was dispensable to her, she could do without me, but I think in a way, she figured if I had to be there, then she may as well make me useful. I spent my entire childhood wondering why I ended up in certain situations, and then just resigned myself to it, through adulthood, that its just all Im good for.

It wasn't until the night that I stopped talking to my mom, when I was in such a rage and called my sister, that she told me that it wasnt in my head...that my mother purposely put me in certain situations. And she felt awful, because she thought it was just her, but realized I went through the same thing, and totally understood what I meant without me having to spell it out.

I'm being very vague I know...I think I need to really pull my thoughts together about this, and I guess will write in my journal here about it. But for sure...my mother put me to "good use" for her own purposes, things that a mother should never allow her child to do or go through. When I see the news, things mothers are arrested and go to jail for, and people say its such a different world now, I know for a fact, this isnt new, I went through it myself. Just that I was so young when it started, that I just assumed that is what I was here for.

It has only been 4 years...out of over 30 years of my life of living / feeling this way...even without my mother doing it to me, I have done it to myself, making myself useful in the way she did, that how I feel about myself and what I'm doing doesnt matter as much as making sure other peoples needs are met, making myself useful, proving I'm worth keeping around, in whatever way possible. While at one time, I was forced to do it, I now do it of my own free will.

It wasnt until I realized this, after talking to my sister, that I started taking steps to change that...but old habits die hard.

 

[BlueOcean]

@silkleaves It's ok to be vague. I understand fully about being at your mother's service. It wasn't until about a year ago that I started waking up to what was happening, through a very trusted friend, that I decided to make changes to help me take care of me.

Up til that point I had always worked hard to be useful to others, so they would accept me and see I have worth. I neglected my own health to do this. Now, I'm focused on taking care of myself and as I do, I'm finding I have value outside of care taking others.

Silkleaves, I think it's wonderful you were able to see what was going on in your life and immediately begin making changes :)

 

[shimmerz]

I'm finding I have value outside of care taking others.

This is SOOOOOO key.