Have You Experienced This? Not Recognizing Someone

[Nessa7]

I have been looking around to see if anyone has experienced something like this. I might just not be thinking of the right search terms to use. I am thinking that this might be an example of dissociating, but I'm not really sure.

There is a woman that I don't see. It isn't that I don't know that there is someone there. Have you ever had a teacher in elementary school say something about their class hearing them but not listening? It's kind of like that. It is like subconsciously I do whatever I can to not really see her and look closely enough to know who she is.

I met her once away from any traumatic events. I saw her once during a traumatic event. I didn't see her again until after I was no longer in that situation. Now, I see her about one or two times a year at the place that she works.

When she speaks to me, I react like I would to a stranger. Without thinking about it, I don't really look at her face. We have had conversations, but I acted as though she was an overly friendly waitress. In hindsight, she tried to initiate conversations but does not push when I respond by wanting a glass of water or directions. Sometimes I do feel anxious, but the feeling isn't so strong that I feel like I need to think about it in the moment.

I do not realize it is her until I have left the building. This might be as much as an hour after I spoke to her. My reaction is to be afraid that she will tell people that I do not want knowing things about me that she saw me. Even in that moment, I couldn't tell you what her face actually looks like. It takes me a few minutes to remember her name despite knowing it.

 

[joeylittle]

At first I thought 'face blindness', but reading your post again, that doesn't sound quite right. Have you looked into face-blindness?

 

[Nessa7]

Face blindness is one of the things that came up, but it doesn't seem to fit that it is only one person that I do this with.

I do plan to ask my therapist about this, but I won't be seeing her until the end of the month and I'm a little hung up on figuring it out.

 

[Flutterbee]

Could it be that in order to cope with the anxiety and associated fears of seeing her you subconsciously minimize the experience and it's only later that you allow yourself to process it? It might be one way you are protecting yourself. It's just a thought and I might be completely wrong though.

 

[Nessa7]

Could it be that in order to cope with the anxiety and associated fears of seeing her you subconsciously minimize the experience and it's only later that you allow yourself to process it? It might be one way you are protecting yourself. It's just a thought and I might be completely wrong though.

I think it is something like that. I do think that my brain subconsciously sees her and decides without consulting me to turn off to protect me.

One thing that does surprise me is that I have no problem going to the place that she works. It's a big place, and I don't always see her. I don't even look for her or have it occur to me that she might be there. Whatever this is only kicks in when I'm in a room with her.

 

[LostGentleman]

When my Ptsd is worse, or I'm in more anxious, adrenaline filled moments, I have issues recognizing faces. It takes me a big effort, and quite some time (and makes me look like an idiot, like a cold person, or like a cold idiot.. something of the sort)
It is extremely embarrassing for me, I like to be on top of the situation, and on such moments it's as if I'm "lost"..

I'm sorry, I realize it isn't the same, but it is the closest I have of experience on not recognizing faces (happened to me 3 days ago, at a meeting. I couldn't recognize the person I was having the meeting with - of all people..)
I don't know if what happens to me has anything to do with ptsd - similarly, I don't know if what happens to you does

If possible, let us know the results regarding asking your therapist about what you told us, if it's alright with you
We will be waiting, eagerly :')

 

[Nessa7]

I don't mind at all that it isn't exactly the same. I am really curious about the whole thing, so I really appreciate any input.

I will definitely be reporting back after talking to my therapist. I'll be seeing her soon.

 

[WhisperingUnicorn]

@Nessa7 .. Pardon my ignorance in asking - but if you don't "see" her (and I have some "facial recognition" issues myself, so I'm really just trying to understand) .. how can you be sure it's the same "her" every time? Is this truly just one "she" that keeps popping up repeatedly .. or is it possibly a "kind" of she where various people are registering with you as "unseeable"?

If "she" is ONE she, perhaps SHE herself had some relationship to a significant aspect of your past (or reminds you of someone significant)? ... If "she" is a KIND of someone .. that might also be more revealing?

Not trying to ADD to confusion, just trying to ... uh ... ya know .. see what you're saying. ;) :hug:

~WU

 

[C.M]

Yes, I have experienced this. Very disturbing when it does. With myself it is due to dissociating and/or the effects of head injuries. Memory loss occurs in both issues. Sometimes the answers may come back or it does not. If it does not this supports the head injury effects vs the dissociative issues (when the answer filters through at a later date or time; like an aha moment).

 

[Nessa7]

@WhisperingUnicorn, that's a good question. I know that I can recognize some of her coworkers that do the same job. Several of them are acquaintances of my grandmother. I was with other people two times that it happened, so I think I am going to check in with both of them just in case.

My therapist's theory is that it is a somewhat unusual method of automatic coping. Forgetting things associated to traumatic events seems to be one of the biggest ways that I cope with things to the point that we discussed having it be one of the major focuses of my therapy going forward. After poking at my memory, I seem to have lost a lot of things related to members of my extended family on that side. What I did retain is things about family members that I knew slightly better. Since I had only met her once in a fairly stress-free context, it makes sense that I would be able to block her out so completely.

@LostGentleman I don't know your history yet to know if this is applicable to you, but we also talked about how trauma, especially when we're young, can have an impact on our memory. I do not know the technical names for any parts of my brain, so bear with me. Neglect or mistreatment when our brains are still developing makes the parts that connect different segments of our brain weaker. PTSD makes it so that some parts of our brain completely flip out when something triggers an emotional response. When your brain is being overloaded with panic responses, it shouldn't be a surprise that things can slip through the cracks because parts of our brain are weaker than most peoples. I'll definitely come back if there is anything else that I can put together in layman's terms that I understand.

 

[LostGentleman]

I don't know your history yet to know if this is applicable to you, but we also talked about how trauma, especially when we're young, can have an impact on our memory. I do not know the technical names for any parts of my brain, so bear with me. Neglect or mistreatment when our brains are still developing makes the parts that connect different segments of our brain weaker. PTSD makes it so that some parts of our brain completely flip out when something triggers an emotional response. When your brain is being overloaded with panic responses, it shouldn't be a surprise that things can slip through the cracks because parts of our brain are weaker than most peoples.

It is extremely applicable to me, thank you so much - now I understand better
I will have to read it more times, so my brain does not erase this info, which is important to me
It's hard to process things regarding my own Ptsd, my brain becomes a bit selective, which only makes it harder to accept and forgive myself and my symptoms
Sadly at the age of 7 I had trauma in 3 fronts simultaneously, which lasted years - home, family member's workplace, school - so it makes perfect sense. Includes both categories (neglect, mistreatment), that specific time span.
But it helped form me, my personality, my knowledge, so I wouldn't erase it from
Well, my life. As horrible, painful, haunting it may be
If it didn't happen, maybe those people who met me a decade later would not be alive
I wouldn't want to risk that. Not being there for those I was there for, here and there, on a few moments of their lives
It made me who I am

 

[Nessa7]

I definitely empathize. It is difficult to work on things that your don't remember or use information that slips right back out of your mind. I believe that there is something positive about who I am that also is the result of all of this, even if I don't know what it is or scientists haven't discovered it yet.