Have you researched your abuse?

[Freida]

But I wouldn't recommend Mindfulness for someone with depression or anxiety or PTSD, or long term childhood abuse, unless you have really done the rounds with CBT at the very least.

@Disco Dancing Queen I am so glad you posted this. I was just thinking about that course and if it would be beneficial. It never crossed my mind that it could be harmful. I'll make sure I bring my T in on the subject before I move forward

 

[ms spock]

You need to have reasonable CBT and/or skills in place before you do the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction (MBSR) @Freida. The book "The Mindful Way Through Depression" by J. Mark G. Williams, John Teasdale, Jon Kabat-Zinn, Zindel V. Segal actually discusses this and suggests not to do it when you are in the grip of a depressive, well begin it, when you are in the grip of a depressive episode because you can get stuck in ruminations, distorted cognitions and thought loops.

Jon Kabat-Zinn is the founder of MBSR.

I had to work out very specific ways of managing doing the MBSR. I have done the course four times now. The first time I did it was a disaster. I was brutally honest about how I was, and the teacher (despite being a psychologist) didn't have the skills/knowledge to not accept me into the course.

 

[simplysawa]

I've dabbled in a small amount of reading about ritual abuse but to date, I really haven't looke...

Thank you for posting about this. I joined a support forum when i was about fifteen i think, but i stayed away from certain topics, partly cause i wanted to believe it wasn't that bad and partly cause i was scared. But the past idk maybe three or four years ive been having more trouble. I cant recall exactly if it was a video i watched or a scandal in news, but something made me start looking into sra or trauma based mind control, and to my surprise those things made the fragments i do have make sense.i happened to stummble on a trigger that was affecting me,or probably still is, while i was reading about effects and known triggers, i realized i had been experiencing the effects but to accept that is way more than i was prepared for. Im not sure if knowing the trigger reduces the effects, i just try to avoid it. I would say before researching to make sure your anxiety is in check, because the information is scary and maybe triggering. Early on when i started to talk about the abuse i looked for things that matched my memory, but didn't find much so then i got scared and didn't look for a while. I definitely think its wise to pace yourself exploring these things, its easy to take in too much at once

 

[Freida]

@Disco Dancing Queen wow - you helped me dodge a bullet. Thank You!

 

[ms spock]

Gosh if I can assist one person to not go through what I went through it, then it means my experiences are not wasted. That makes me feel better about it all. Thanks for the feedback. It helps.

 

[Freida]

Well crap. I just looked up two sites that describe what happened to me. I found them early on and said I wouldn't come back until I was ready, then for some dumb ass reason just now I randomly pulled one of them up. Yea --- I was NOT ready to read that again. Cant decide if I want to puke or cry. Luckily I have therapy tomorrow cause I have a feeling its going to be a long, bad, nightmare night.

Dammit. Note to self --- researching is not something you do on a whim! I knew better and I did it anyway. How stupid could I be?

WTF was I thinking?

 

[simplysawa]

Dont beat yourself up, feeling sick and sad is expected, glad you have t tomorrow, hopefully it helps

 

[user27357]

yes, I research the abusing cult and see that they are still allowed to exist and persist. Most of my abusers are dead, one did some prison for molestation of a female student (after pleaing down from a history of many victims). It doesn't help me to know I was not alone, it hurts to know it still goes on. The bastards get tax breaks, and now they want school vouchers for the parents of their victims.
Sometimes i have to wonder, would life be better if I had allowed the mind control and abuse to break me down and the church to absorb me? So many of my fellow students are parents of victims now, are they happier than those of us that see the brainwashing and torture as abuse and suffer PTSD or worse because of it?
No f****ing way. I did the best I could after landing in their crapfest and I am hanging on to the sanity I managed to escape with. if there is a hell it waits for them, not me.
So, yes I did research, and I feel lucky to have escaped with so little of what they are capable of affecting me. And I feel worse knowing that they survive and thrive and hide out on the fringes of modern society. They are truly shameless and I believe that someday they will be exposed and dissolved. I would be better off never reading another thing about them, I would be better off not ever allowing the thoughts about them to enter my head. Or, I could single-handedly expose them and fight their lawyers for the rest of my life.....naaah.