Have Your Scars Faded? (and People Saying I Exaggerate)

[Orange Moose]

I used to self-harm a lot. I even got to a stage of doing it every day. Funny thing though was I was always pro-active of going to get medical attention for it, even if it meant a hell of a lot of judgemental docs and insensitive comments. It wasn't easy, but I was never refused treatment. As a result, I have pretty much no scars left as they have faded beyond recognition. It's been about two years now since I stopped.

For anyone here who self-harmed in the past, what's it been like for you? I'm glad my scars are gone and I can start 'new' although it does annoy me a LOT when people think I mustn't have been much of a self-harmer (SHer) if I don't have scars and that I'm 'exaggerating'. I may be wrong, but I think the reason a lot of SHer's have big scars is because they haven't gotten adequate medical care, for many good reasons. I'm sure if I'd tried to do it all myself I'd have bad scars - and I'd also have gotten infections and God knows what else.

 

[Heather]

I used to self-harm a lot too. I haven't cut myself in years. But unfortunately I do have a lot of scars. I cut myself to the point that I required stitches. Several times, I went to the e.r. and had stitches on my arms. So, the scars are pretty noticeable.

I also used to cut my face too but I am extremely lucky that you can't see any scars there. I had stitches to different times on my face but they are hidden (one under my eyebrow and the other on the side of my neck).

 

[Changing4Best]

I was a self harmer in another way, I attempted suicide by taking 4 months worth of my meds. The Dr.'s said it was a miracle I survived. As it was, I was in a coma for 10 days and that was only because someone found me in time so that they could pump my stomach.

As to scars, yes, I have many, but they too are the invisable kind. So when I used to have a PTSD Service Dog even my Dr. thought I was a faker and would not allow the dog into his office so I had to find another Dr. The one I found was afraid of dogs, but at least let me bring the dog to her office. She just asked me to leave my dog with her office staff when she examined me. SO I did. I respected her fear, because, well, it was like a kind of PTSD!

Anyway, I do know what it feels like to be accused of faking it, because a lot of folks could see "nothing" wrong with me and therefore assumed I was faking it and had the Service Dog just "because" I was a nut or looking for sympathy or something.

I am sorry you are experiencing this. It stinks, I know! Hang in there and know that I care and others here will too.

 

[rascal]

I still have the scars on my wrists from my suicide attempt 3 years ago. They aren't nearly as bad, but they're there if you look. Fortunately, I've become less self-conscious about them and no one has pointed them out to me, so I hardly think about them any more!

 

[mary1979]

The (negative) view that people have about self harming is one that ticks me off.

The idea that it is attention seeking behaviour is my biggest peeve.

Of course it is at least in part attention seeking (though definitely not entirely, as its also very much a self expression or vent) but wtf is negative or wrong about wanting bloody attention?!
Our society has a lot to answer for with the notion that its bad to need help.

Also dangerous is what you mention about it being an exaggeration, that kind of accusation will nearly always cause a self harmer to up the anti.
Genius.

And what's to exaggerate? Pain is pain.

Hugs to you, and I'm glad you are able to put this behind you without that permanent reminder.
My daughter is in the process of planning tattoos to 'remake' her scars into something beautiful and worth celebrating, as she did survive :)

 

[Sideways]

I still have cutting and burning scars, but I was always careful to do it where people couldn't see, because my sister went down the SH road before I did and both her forearms will be disfigured for life from her wrists to her elbows from cutting.

The 5cm 'S' that I branded onto my inner ankle a few years back will take a while to fade, but ironically it's currently hidden by the cat collar I wear around my ankle. My T knows that's my current form of SH, but to most people it just looks like a kooky anklet (sometimes I get the odd comment about how it's pretty or cool!).

But the bulk of my SH, you'd only know about it if I told you. And I onky talk to my therapy team about it. They know it's real, and that's all I need. If the rest of the world doesn't know, wouldn't believe me (they wouldn't) and wouldn't understand? Pfft! They don't understand, period. So not understanding the SH part of it, well, how could they? And if they want to judge? I actually really don't care. I hate myself more than enough for me and them both already!

 

[Socha]

Getting attention was never part of self harming for me. Quite the opposite. I never went to get medical attention even though I have a few scars that would have needed stiches and I didn't cut on my forearms because I didn't want people to know. I have a few faded scars on my forearm though from the first time but I don't think people recognize them as scars from self harming. I hate looking at them and it takes a little while every year until I'm comfortable not wearing longsleeves in public when it gets too warm for wearing hoodies.
I think scars are the main reason why I stopped cutting and found other ways that don't leave me with permanent reminders that are obvious to other people.

 

[joeylittle]

Funny thing though was I was always pro-active of going to get medical attention for it, even if it meant a hell of a lot of judgemental docs and insensitive comments.

I wish I had done this, now.

I'm like @Socha on this one: I self-harmed on my forearms, but was hyper, hyper conscious about keeping them hidden. I also refused to patch them up well, believing that once I had done it, I did not deserve to have a scar that healed.

Spoiler: a little more detail that might make sensitive stomachs queasy

So, I would pick at the scabs for a very long time, and they are pretty badly warped. I cut with a serrated edge blade, and deep. Really full of self-loathing. I am now stuck never being able to wear anything other than long sleeves. I've not cut for a good chunk of time, which I'm proud of - but it's still something I struggle with.

Oddly, all my other scars, from my trauma, I did a great deal of work on in order to get them to vanish, including having some lasered. There's probably some connection between erasing those old ones, and now feeling like I need to keep these, since I didn't start self-harming til I started trauma work.