Having a hard time today

[Fenway0823]

Hi all,

I am having a hard time right now. I have connected with my therapist on a deeper level but now i'm having a hard time with the constant push and pull. I am terrified of abandonment. I feel like a burden. I feel vulnerable and because of that I feel shame and anxiety.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel super scared and out of control as attaching to people is such a strong need but its terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. And it's messy because I don't have practice.

 

[Never_falter2]

Do you have PtSD or does a loved one?

 

[Fenway0823]

Sorry, yes. I have C-PTSD and developmental trauma.

 

[NightSky]

I struggle with the same feelings ALL of the time. How long have you been with your T? I’ve been with mine for 2 years and even though I still really struggle with these things, I have a deeper trust/belief that she means it when she says I’m not a burden and it’s ok to need her. It has taken all of these two years plus 3 months to get to even that point. And it has taken a LOT of telling her when I’m feeling the push/pull and why, and listening to her saying over and over that the attachment is safe and healthy.