Having A Job And PTSD

[JillyB]

Boy, I'll tell you LoveWins, I finally figured out that I need to work for myself. And I do. After years of being in the restuarant industry, Where in some ways I was very successful, in others I struggled. Seems the flight or fright thing would rear it's ugly head when someone wanted to get in my face. While I was "wounded" as a child, I am not a child now and I don't back down easily. (So it wasn't the fright part of the equation that ruled my response...)
I now am a caretaker of an elderly gentleman 3-4 times a week and a personal chef one day a week as well as starting my own business where I can work from home.
You may want to consider working for yourself in some capacity. Don't worry, you WILL get through this! You will. <Hugs>

 

[Blues in NYC]

Slowly reintegrating my own career back into my life.

I worked for many years as a freelance artist and also as a fine artist. I also have a number of responsibilities as a landlord as our building has a few rental units (incidents in one unit with a tenant who ended up in jail actually resulted in my diagnosis!). I still get triggered a degree by the building and executing those responsibilities, but it is getting better. Plus my doc is able to "teach to" some of my more recent experiences. (We have another inherited "crazy tenant" who is a commensurate bully and my doc is able to help me make connections between his behaviour, the tenant who tried to do my wife and I in and my mentally ill mother who abused me, my sister and herself throughout my youth.)

Anyways, I get by. But I'm also working with flexible schedules, limited contact with others and at the end of the week only working about 1/3rd time currently. I hope that soon I'll be closer to 1/2 time or more, as I'm working at getting into my studio space more and more. So much of my prior partial health (undiagnosed cPTSD but functional I suppose) was integrated with my identity as an artist. I think it's important that that is still a part of my life in a big enough way--even if it's not in the same way it was prior to things falling apart.

 

[heather q]

I work in a very stressful situation and I'm frequently triggered, I have a mortgage and car to pay for and I am not going to let PTSD rule my life to such an extent that I lose everything, so I have made a choice to continue no matter what. The job keeps me going, if I didn't have to work I would have folded, so to me there is a positive and a negative. If someone had been around to help maybe I would have quit but I'm a bit too scared to put myself in that position again. That seems like a luxury I cannot afford because it would put me totally outside of my comfort zone.

So the job is hell sometimes but it is forcing me to be around people and accept myself as I am, as difficult as it is it is proving to be good for me.

Heather

 

[Keenbean]

I think it's really important to find something that's flexible. I have bipolar and PTSD which caused me to drop out of uni about 8 years ago and I was unable to work for a few years. Eventually I got back to uni (after a couple of false starts and a further year out after first year) and am now doing a PhD in Clinical Psychology. I guess some people would say that a PhD isn't a job as technically I'm still a student, but I get paid (I won a scholarship which funds my PhD and gives me a stipend to live off) and I'm at the office or out testing participants for at least 8 hours per day, so it's pretty much like a full time job.

I think I have been able to succeed with this (so far!) partly because it is very flexible and partly because I have a lot of support from a very understanding supervisor and team. When things are good it's great, when things are bad I have 'reserve' tasks which are really easy and boring things like photocopying or filing, so I at least feel like I'm doing something useful. Of course there are really bad times when nothing is possible. My supervisor is aware of my problems, partly because they crop up on my CRB check, partly because I have told her about stuff, and partly because she has seen me dissociated and flashbacking at work anyway. She asks what it is best for her to do at those times and never makes me feel bad for what is happening.

I think it's really important to do something with your time when you can. I know it's not always possible but I find that sitting around feeling awful just makes things even more awful, and it's impossible not to think things even moore and drag yourself further down. Even if it's just voluntary work to start with or anything that gets you moving and gives you something to try to focus on apart from the PTSD. Hard work and at times not doable, but definitely worth aiming for.

Best wishes,
KB

 

[macpayne]

Sorry to hear your loosing your flat Shadow-light. I can only imagine the stress involved with that. I have worked since I was 16 years old. I am now 32. I suffered a great deal getting to this point but believe I am a fighter and of course had to feed myself. I was off for 6 months last year with severe anxiety but was disgnosed with PTSD, medicated and have never looked back. I often use my office as the safe place. I know my limitations and work towards bettering myself. Keeping that in mind I just checked myself into the hospital Monday. I was having a bad day and didn't want to leave it and have it get worse. I took two days, saw my therapist, got new fast acting meds and here I am!! Back at work!! I need something to do everyday. I also like my job and its what gives me purpose. I try not to focuse on what the mental illness itself and instead focused on what my past experience could do to better someone else's life. I work everyday with people who have had misfortunes and thus I can relate. I do feel safe here and although I seem to be the only one with PTSD in the office I fit in just fine.
With regards to Manic....in retail. I was triggered relentlessly doing retail. I then tried to be a waitress...heck I was a wreck. My anixety was put to the test and I was always eventually fired or quit with no notice.
I found a job that lets me work at my own pace and a union with great Medical benefits!!
Goodluck Shadow!

 

[shadow-light]

wow, there have been a lot of replies!


I am still unemployed, I have seen a DEA and she was very little use. I have exams at the moment, and to be honest I am not doing well; physically or mentally. We loose our flat on Friday and still have nowhere to move to

 

[anthony]

I give massive kudos to anyone who can work with PTSD... forced or not. As was mentioned, it does come down to severity. PTSD is not created equal when it comes to symptom severity. Some will have it lesser than others.

 

[Hemels]

Hi Shadow-light,

I lost my house back a few years ago because I couldn't pay the rent. I understand totally what you are going through hun. Thinking of you and hope you find somewhere soon. If you need any advise regarding relocation to another house/ home/ BnB - don't hesitate to PM me.

Hemmy xXx

 

[Mommy to 2]

This subject interested me immediately when I saw it. I'm newly diagnosed and have been off work for 9 months now. I've worked at the same company for 23+ years and it's a small family-owned business. Unfortunately, I am part of the family that is expected to get up off the operating table and get back to work.

I am an office worker with a high stress job. Prior to being diagnosed, I was told in a work performance review (officiated by my niece, who is the office manager) that there would be no more "crying at your desk" allowed by anyone, that the offender would be sent home without pay should this happen. Since crying was a daily event, I felt even more hopeless.

I have always felt emotionally "out of control". When I think of things like my mom getting older or what's happened to my children and how this may affect them later in life, I just cry. If I'm busy and occupied, it's not so bad. But give my brain a moment to try and relax and it's on. Even thinking of happy times makes me grateful and I cry...Wow, I don't think they'll ever ask me what I'm thankful for at Thanksgiving dinner again!

I really appreciated you bringing this topic up and the other replies. I haven't figured out what my triggers are...they seem like everything right now...so I can't imagine going back to work.

Good Luck
~Mommy to 2

 

[Julia_]

This is especially stressful for me at the moment. I had to defer uni 2 years ago - it was intended to be temporary, perhaps a semester, maybe two at the most - time to deal with my C-PTSD... but after more trauma and big changes in my circumstances, I still haven't gone back. There's now a huge amount of pressure on me (and a quickly approaching deadline) to either get some sort of qualification or get a job. The problem, however, is that I'm for all intents and purposes agoraphobic. That is - I can go to the servo to buy milk or maybe on a good day to an actual supermarket.... but even the idea of uni (or a job interview, much less actual work) sends me into a panic attack.

At just 21 I don't see how I can ever get to the point where I'll be able to earn a living. I've considered online university as a legitimate option, but I have absolutely no idea what degree I should do or what kind of job I could get that would guarantee me the option of working from home. Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

[Healing Survivor]

I'm A Social Worker

And I have PTSD. I honestly don't know how I have kept going in my job the last six years. In fact, I think part of the reason it's taking me a long-ish time to heal from the trauma is BECAUSE of the job I'm in. I purposefully supress emotions so that I can function at work. I have had a few times when that's been impossible, though, and I've had to take a few weeks off.

Part of what's helpful for me, though, is the fact that I do work at a mental health clinic. So I have been able to confide in several people who are therapists and who support me. I don't think I could have kept going without that support system.

I do get triggered A LOT at work, due to the nature of the job. But in general I've been able to eventually learn from these experiences.

Something I hate that happens frequently is when I forget important things. There are times when I "forget" important details of an abuse report only to remember them a week later out of the blue. For some reason, people are understanding about this. But I've also had to get more supervision because of it as well.

Anyway, that's been my experience. Just felt like sharing. Thanks!

 

[Jagged Angel]

Hi Julia, Charles Sturt University does all sorts of great degrees, and the vast majority of them can be done via Distance Education.

As to what degree to do? There are not a lot of jobs that you can do from home... I have recently looked into being a freelance writer, which I can do from home (which is turning out OK so far), but you need a degree in something first.