Having Trouble 'clicking' With New Psychiatrist

[Rennie]

I have recently started seeing a new psychiatrist, I have had 2 visits so far. Each visit has been a hour long and they have been so awkward and it feel like she just doesn't get me.

I don't know if it's because english is her second language (she is ukrainian) or I am just I am just wrong in what I feel.

For example last session, I was trying to explain to her how I felt so unsafe since a incident at work, and she scoffed (literally) and said everyone feels unsafe thats normal, even she doesn't feel safe.

If thats true, what am I working towards? I thought I was working towards a time when fear wouldn't grip my heart everytime a loud noise happened, or a time when I could shake someones hand.

Please I need some opinions.

 

[Sammyiam]

Go with your first instinct Rennie, that's normally the right one, what's your gut feeling ?

How many times have you said to yourself, bugger I should have gone with my gut on this and you haven't listened and it's always the wrong choice. I know I have done it so many times it isn't funny. Have a look around for another one if you can Rennie. You didn't come away saying wow she is going to be really great, did you ?

 

[xanda11]

Hi Rennie

I've had experience with both a psychiatrist who did the scoffing "everyone feels that way" and another for whom English was a second language. The firstI stuck with for a while but never really got anywhere and the second I walked out after the first session saying I'd rather no therapy than this.

Now that I'm seeing someone that doesn't belittle my stuff and that I can really communicate with, it's another dimension of therapy.

I have seen many different therapists over the years and you kind of "know" fairly early on if its going to be of benefit to you or not. I also know its a pain finding the right one.

So, my advice is, if it possible/practical for you to keep looking around then do so.

Good Luck!

 

[Chava]

The scoffing over safety would be hard for me to tolerate, personally. I just backslide when I feel invalidated.

 

[greenleaf]

This person doesn't understand trauma at all, and I agree with the other folks that finding a new provider would be very good.

There is a huge difference between the regular "not feeling totally safe" -- maybe slightly nervous in regular situations, with occasional fear in rare actual emergencies -- and having one's "reptile brain" telling one that a tiger is about to eat you in regular situations, regularly. Whole different parts of the brain activating in ptsd's "not feeling safe"; she's showing appalling ignorance of current research and biology.

 

[shandemonium]

Wow, I agree with everyone here, and confess I only scanned above posts before anxiously wanting to put in my own two cents!

DUMP THIS THERAPIST!!! Go with your GUT, I can't emphasize how important that is. This next sentence might sound "woo woo" but screw it, it's the truth: We (people who survive abuse/and or combat) have developed our intuition more than others as a means for survival. Call it whatever you want. "Psychic" is a word that freaks people out, so call it instinct or intuition, but you've got it, and so do I.
That means our gut feelings have always been talking to us, and what our confused conscious brains might be swirling back and forth, our higher senses always knew the right answer!

My point is your gut is right, dump this lady. I was mad just reading what she said to you!! Not all therapists are helpful, smart, or even relate-able (is that a word?). It's sad but true. I have been to many bad therapists.

Some people get money from their parents , are so privileged and want to "help the less fortunate crazies" like us. Meanwhile, they never have any life experience and base their worldview off a textbook. It's expensive to become a PhD. or MD, which opens the road to rich kid a-holes who become terrible therapists! No offense to rich kids, I know they're not all the same! But, you know what I mean.

Also, I hate to go here, but in my experience with a Russian-culture-influenced man (he was not Russian, but from Moldova) was very much like "only pussies show emotions" and "f*ck you why you cry crybaby" and would push me to tears then tell me what a pussy I was. Yup, another abuser, but with a Russian accent. Maybe she needs her own therapy from this mentality in her culture! Scoffing you?! Grrrrrr
(*disclaimer, I understand not all Russians are like this)

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF and KEEP SEARCHING. I wish you the best

 

[SaySomething]

she scoffed (literally) and said everyone feels unsafe thats normal, even she doesn't feel safe.

That's incredibly insensitive of her. And it isn't helpful to you, hearing that. You are there to work through your issues ... if everyone else feels unsafe, they can find ways to deal with that on THEIR time! Sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh, but she's supposed to be focusing on what will help you, not minimizing your feelings.

 

[littlelostchild]

Wow Rennie, you deserve better than that. Your therapist needs to honour your feelings and support you, not scoff and belittle. Please find someone else.

 

[Rennie]

Thanks everyone for you replies, you have just echoed what I feel inside. I know I can just go to my GP and ask for another referral and she will be okay about it but there is a good likelihood that I will be referred to someone in the same clinic as it is the biggest private clinic in my state, and I will feel so bad if I see this psych around the place.

I have done some research and it seems that this psych has no interest or experience in PTSD, when I see my GP I will make sure to ask for a referral to some one who does.