He Cried When I Told Him...

[Nolen]

So, today I got up enough courage to tell the guy I'm dating I was diagnosed with ptsd.
I went a little into it explaining that communication was difficult for me sometimes. That I used to go to therapy and whatnot, no big details. It was very hard for me to speak clearly through the explaining. When I was finished I looked over at him and he had tears just rolling down his face..

He explained he was an Empath (A person who is capable of feeling the emotions of others despite the fact that they themselves are not going through the same situation.) I'm not entirely sure how I'm supposed to go about this...

 

[J_trustno1]

Wow,, guys like this exist? Thank him for understanding you for not judging you. I think you have a great guy/friend there.

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Spare him the details? Although I must say I did like my "I don't see it as an issue" response. I think I'd feel guilty if I told someone and they cried. I mean hasn't this damn disorder taken enough prisoners?

 

[Nolen]

Exactly. I was a bit taken back. I was expecting him to be freaked out by me but he was completely understanding. Which is AMAZING! But at the same time..If he's a very emotional person my mood can have a major affect on his. It kinda worries me.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

I think it's best that you talk to him about your worries. Be open with each other. If he makes you happy and doesn't judge you, I think you two can have a great time together.

Also, congrats on telling him! That's a great big step, be proud!

 

[Hashi]

As long as he's strong and stable at the same time, I don't think it's an issue. If he's going to fall apart if you fall apart, or you're going to be forever worrying about him worrying about you, then that might be a bit of a problem.

I'm wondering why you said you used to go to therapy. Did you mention that you're looking for therapy again? I just looked and found your other post in the therapy section about finding professional help. I think the other risk of him being so understanding is that you might feel a bit too understood and be tempted to stay with his emotional support rather than pushing to move forward. Just a thought.

 

[Nolen]

Thank you :]

I did mention wanting to go back to therapy. Last week felt like an all-time-low for me and I feel ready to progress with recovery. Though I'm ecstatic I was able bring some awareness to my ptsd, I don't think I will be tempted spew my life's complications at him.

 

[Echo]

When I told my then other half about my diagnosis, he also cried. He found it intensely moving. I know, in his case, that it mirrored things in his past and I know he deeply wanted to protect me and found it very sad that "someone like you" (his words) should have had to go through this. He did leave me in the end because I think it was all too triggering for him. I hope this is not the outcome for you, but I would just say if there are any signs that it is affecting him too much, he should seek his own therapy. Empathetic people, if they are truly empathetic in the real sense of the word, should be ok and will be a great support, but if they also have boundary issues, and it transfers into sympathy rather than empathy, in other words, if they start feeling your pain and taking it on themselves, then there will be trouble for all concerned.