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BehindBlueEyes
My heart goes out to you. You should know, first of all, that you deserve a huge amount of credit for remaining with your fiance through such a time, in the face of seeing him "become someone different from the person you fell in love with", most especially. It speaks volumes of the depth of your character that your loyalty would remain undiminished in the face of being dealt such cruel hand by fate as to see the one you fell in love with disappear, to be replaced by what must in many ways seem to be a stranger. So many seem to see any commitment made to a previous relationship invalidated by virtue of the fact that the relationship seems for all the world to be with a person different from the one to whom the original commitment was made, in the first place...almost as though as a mortgage on a house would be voided if the house turned out, in fact, to be only a cardboard cut out, for example.
And I'm very glad you've sought out support from this forum, and suggest that you do so from other sources of information and support---as PTSD almost inevitably turns out to be a much more complicated and involved--and challenging--than anyone first imagines.
I don't say this to discourage you, by any means, as without knowing the specifics of your fiance's history and symptoms, etc, it's impossible to speak to his case, specifically--or anyone else's really, as PTSD takes such different and nearly wholly unique forms, in each sufferer. Nor do I think it would be wise for you to invest a great deal of significance in the advice or opinions of those other than a specialist personally involved in your fiance's treatment, at least regarding your his specific circumstances, diagnosis, and prognosis. While laypersons such as the contributors to this forum can provide insight into the condition in very broad terms, and support for you in your experience, accepting as gospel the input of anyone without credentials, especially at long distance, can be a recipe for disaster.
To that end, I hope you'll seek support through the "Supporters" forum either here or on other related forums, where you'd find others whose experiences would resonate with your own, and with whom you'd be more likely to identify, and therefore get a sense of another being "in your corner", who has been intimate with the trials you find yourself facing.
I strongly encourage you to begin reading materials related to PTSD. I would recommend Trauma and Recovery, by Judith Herman, M.D., to start. But many resources exist online, as well.
Speaking from my own personal experience, when I first began to display symptoms at around 22, my then fiance couldn't have been more bewildered...especially as there was no obvious recent trauma responsible, and neither I nor other healthcare practitioners had any idea at the time either the origin of my symptoms, or how to address them.
To her credit, she stood by me for far longer than she could have been expected to, given the severity of my symptoms, and the universal quality of my accompanying personality change. Again, just as an example, and without any attempt to suggest that my case might be similar to that of your fiance...my symptoms persisted at a severe level for almost 20 years, thereafter, rendering me unrecognizable to everyone from my former life.
I think the question...whether aspects of someone with PTSD "come back"...may itself be setting yourself up for disappointment. I do know that my own view of the "condition" was similar to that of what I've become familiar with as the average response to anyone facing a healthcare crisis of any kind...and the reaction of the loved ones of any such person: There seems to be an understandable expectation that, like a fever, or appendicitis, after treatment, the patient will be "healed" entirely, which implies a complete and total return to the individual's state prior to the ailment.
While I can by no means speak for all of those who have experienced PTSD, and am by no means a specialist of any kind...all I have read, and all of whom I've personally heard speak of their own cases....suggests that unlike a physical condition that responds to surgery or antibiotics, PTSD is more a matter of gradual "rebuilding of a self", on a large scale--and just as a structure which has been torn down cannot be rebuilt with each brick exactly in the same position, and with the same mortar, as it previously existed...neither can an individual, after an experience so traumatic that it results in "breakdown".
I have noticed, however--as have family members who knew me prior--that previous character attributes have resurfaced and reasserted themselves...but not in the exact quality, or identical in manifestation.
In my own opinion, you would be setting yourself up for discouragement and disappointment, were you to view it in these terms...as your expectations of your fiance suddenly "snapping out of it", and into the identical person he was when you met him, would likely cause you to resent the fact that he has not done so. I believe it also is likely to result in an unconscious resentment toward your fiance...as "the stranger who stole your love, and took his place"...even though that of course wouldn't be a conscious thought process.
Bless you for your loyalty and determination, and I hope you'll continue to seek out more information, and support, from others with experience.
