Healing Yourself Without A Therapist, Looking For Guidance.

[Madhather]

I am fairly new to the forum, I came on board the first week in December and have spent most of my time here reading and learning my way around. I have made some acquaintances that have proved to be understanding and encouraging. It is their encouragement that has given the courage to make this post and I am very thankful to them for the guidance and support.:hug:

I do not want this post to be a discussion about seeing a therapist versus not seeing one, but rather a place of positive suggestions that will help me and others, who for whatever reason, are not in therapy to help themselves.

I am seeking information and suggestions about working with self help books, goal setting, work books and web challenges. I am open to all suggestions and will appreciate your input.

 

[franciemarnie]

Welcome.

Could I recommend two books? Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine and The Body Remembers by I can't remember her name.

I began spontaneously releasing trauma energy before I saw a somatic therapist so somatic release can happen without one but it's nice to know what it is and these books can explain it. For me it came pouring out when I stopped taking antidepressants.

Anywho, so glad you are here. There are great healing solutions throughout forum and in the Help Section many fantastic articles. See you soon!

 

[WillyKat]

I probably sound like a broken record about this, but much has been written about the healing power of nature. For me, I gain tremendous insights and healing from extended stays in the mountains, forests, and deserts. I highly recommend it.

 

[Echo]

I would also recommend both of those books. 'The Body Remembers' is by Babette Rothschild and she has also published a step-by-step guide for survivors called '8 Keys to Safe Trauma Recovery'. 'The Body Remembers' is really useful though is written for therapists mainly. Other books by Peter Levine include 'In an Unspoken Voice' which brings all of his work together.

 

[Madhather]

Could I recommend two books? Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine and The Body Remembers by I can't remember her name.

@franciemarnie , thank you! I have added them both to my reading list. Also thank you for pointing me to the Help Section.

I gain tremendous insights and healing from extended stays in the mountains, forests, and deserts.

@WillyKat I must agree with you. I am most at peace when surrounded by nature. Thank you

Other books by Peter Levine include 'In an Unspoken Voice' which brings all of his work together.

@Echo thank you for the author and the recommendations. Adding them to my list as well.

 

[Abstract]

Hi Madhatter,

In many ways I am probably the wrong person to suggest anything as the idea of trauma being part of my life story is still relatively new for me. But I can sympathise with not being able to do therapy. For me it is something I am working to get past but I realise that may not be possible for everyone. Part of posting somewhere like this is about building up some trust in connecting to others and it has helped me. It's a slow process but when I came here saying anything at all was met with a big backlash and that isn't the case any more.

Other than the trauma itself are there any other particular areas that you need to work on? For example have you have a tendency to dissociate or do you need to work on emotions and managing them? Is there anything particular that you want to focus on?

I would recommend mindfulness and DBT if you have not done either before. Great for grounding and for general management of intense emotional states amongst other things.

 

[Madhather]

Other than the trauma itself are there any other particular areas that you need to work on? For example have you have a tendency to dissociate or do you need to work on emotions and managing them? Is there anything particular that you want to focus on?

@Abstract I pretty much live my life dissociated, in that I separate from anything traumatic. I have very few memories of my past, they are stored neatly away in the dark corners of my mind. It is strange, but I feel like I am the gatekeeper, none of it is mine, it belongs to someone else and it is my job to keep it in check. I guess that sounds very odd. :O_o: I would like to start with getting to know me, all of me, and learn to acknowledge my emotions. I have a pretty flat affect both emotional and physical and I would like to be able to recognize emotions and physical feelings for what they are.

I would recommend mindfulness and DBT if you have not done either before. Great for grounding and for general management of intense emotional states amongst other things.

I work with mindfulness daily but have never done DBT. Will have to read up on it. Thank you for the suggestions.

 

[TeaLeaf]

It looks like others on this forum have the same trauma library as I do:) I second the suggestions of "Waking the Tiger" ,"The Body Remembers" and especially "8 keys for Safe Trauma Recovery". The latter has concrete steps you can take to help to heal yourself and I found it the easiest to put into practice. "Dialectical Behavioral Therapy Skills Workbook" helped even out the ups and downs in my mood and take action on changing things that were not going well in my life, I actually went through this workbook twice because it was so helpful and I worked through different layers of my negative coping each time.

I also worked on connecting to others and myself. With others through this board, a trauma survivor support group and in general in everyday life. With myself, I tried my best to not dissociate and stay in the present time. I also tried to set a specific time period during the day where I could remember what had happened to me, be angry, sad and worry about it. Doing this helped me stay present during the rest of the day, if I didn't set aside time for this, my past trauma would overwhelm me and I would feel stuck in the past. Journaling was also tremendously helpful, it helped me get my feelings out on paper and I was able to release some of the strong emotions inside me.

EFT and tapping also helped me, especially when I was at my worst and nothing else worked. It is basically tapping certain points on your body and it does something to reconnect to the present and release old emotions. My therapist told me it was the craziest sounding thing she would ever ask me to do, I was skeptical at first but it worked for me.

I've found for myself that diet has a big impact on my emotional ups and downs, disconnection and suicidal thoughts. I used to eat lots of processed food and sugar, not a whole lot of protein and finally got to a desperate place where I would do anything to help myself. It was hard at first but I significantly reduced my intake of sugar and processed foods, upped my protein and I am so glad I did. It is now much easier to stay present, practice good coping skills and I rarely have suicidal thoughts anymore.

I'm glad you found this site, it has been tremendously helpful for me and I am glad you are finding it helpful too. Best of luck to you.

 

[Madhather]

@TeaLeaf thank you for the reading recommendations. I have been reading about EFT and tapping and it does sound like something that might be beneficial to me. I appreciate your input.

 

[Abstract]

Off to do one or two things Madhather but will come back and say more!

 

[Britt.f7]

Whatever you choose to help you don't wait forever to do it. I think I was in major denial about my physical illness, then a whole bunch of things occurred that contributed to my crashing. I ended up in a psyche hospital. All the above suggestions sound great. I just wouldn't put them off to someday, which can occur when you are dissociating. I'm horrible at grounding, reading self help books, even inspirational quotes, but I get a lot from coming on here. That and remembering to simply breathe at times. I look forward to seeing more recommendations on here.

 

[Madhather]

@Britt.f7 I understand. I've spent my life being a caretaker, doing for everyone else has always kept the focus off me and my issues. Now that I am on the backside of life I am beginning to realize if I don't take care of me no one else is going to. Like you I wish had done it sooner as I now see how much I missed out on by running as fast as I could and getting no where. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.