Hello All. Oif Vet Here

[K-9 Al]

My name is Al. Im currently in the military. Joined in 2001, was in Iraq twice (kirkuk 05-06) and Baghdad (08-09) Im not sure if this is the right forum but im in the process of a medical board for PTSD and other issues. I came across this forum and fiqured it may be a good place to learn more about PTSD. It is a lot easier for me to utilize forums rather than face-to-face when talking about my experiences. It just seems like it may be easier to "vent" amongst others that share the things that I do.

For some reason the stigma for those that have PTSDis horrible. PTSD is looked at by some higher ups as "weak" "why cant you press on?" type of garbage. I tried to hide and bury my thoughts deep down. Well almost 2 years after I got back my marriage was about over, i had been arrested, i had basically gone off on anyone close to me. My life about feel apart before i said"screw the stigma" i need to get some help.
I look foward to interactig with other vets. It is always "easier" to talk about stuff with veterans that have "been there"

 

[Redheaded Stranger]

Welcome Al. Thank you for your service. You have a found a good place and we hope the right place to get a good understanding of PTSD. We have both Veterans and those who love them. The input from the Veterans is vital, the input from the harpies (or carers) can give a different viewpoint, and the support from everyone is very helpful, insightful, sometimes funny and almost always provided with good intentions.

You'll find no stigma or judgment here, so read, ask, vent, and share whatever you want to share, but you are certainly not required to tell anyone here about your experiences unless you want to. Totally up to you.

There are lots of threads already with lots of great information and a very good video through a link on the hope page (If it isn't there, it is under the video thread under forums).

So Welcome. BTW the forum is littered with dog-lovers too!!

Red

 

[Misera1013]

Welcome! I'm new here too.I'm also a vet who went through a med board for a different reason. I am no dealing with PTSD that the VA said I had almost a year ago, but I have had very little treatment. I am hoping to be able to get a service dog to help me get out of the house on my own and free up my poor husband from having to go every where with me. The group in here has bee great. Thank you for what you have done. Know that we are all here together, and we won't leave anyone behind, ever!

 

[K-9 Al]

i appreciate the welcoming! Thank you

Misera, i was just told about a service dog organization here in nj. I am meeting with them on wednesday. My psychiatrist thinks my panic attacks are partly because I dont have my dog with me anymore. My symptoms were bad but when i got told i could no longer work with dogs and had to drop leash on my partner Cici of 4 years, my panic attacks increased in scope and severity. My psychiatrist thinks it is because i have lost my security sence i relied on my dog so much downrange and now that i dont have that security, i dont have anything to combat my flashbacks or even be able to make sence of them...

its like going to war and not having your gun....what the hell do you do?

 

[Misera1013]

i appreciate the welcoming! Thank you

its like going to war and not having your gun....what the hell do you do?

I'm not going to try and take over your thread, but I feel you!! I'm always worried about who is coming up on me. Who is that person approaching!?! What do they want?! Are they going to touch me?! Talk to me? Am I alone? Are there other people around? It all runs through my mind. It has just become way to much for me, and I just stopped leaving my house alone. End of story. This past year I have left my house maybe 4 times alone, and when I was alone I had someone on the phone with me 100% of the time, or a dog in the car with me. I just can't handle it. It brings me to tears right now typing this out. I don't think people get it, and how bad it is. I am praying someone will take me seriously and I can find a way to get a service dog. I think it could save my life, and my marriage.

 

[Misera1013]

I'm so sorry they took your dog!! My heart breaks for you!!! (((HUGS)))

 

[K-9 Al]

I'm not going to try and take over your thread, but I feel you!! I'm always worried about who is coming up on me. Who is that person approaching!?! What do they want?! Are they going to touch me?! Talk to me? Am I alone? Are there other people around? It all runs through my mind. It has just become way to much for me, and I just stopped leaving my house alone. End of story. This past year I have left my house maybe 4 times alone, and when I was alone I had someone on the phone with me 100% of the time, or a dog in the car with me. I just can't handle it. It brings me to tears right now typing this out. I don't think people get it, and how bad it is. I am praying someone will take me seriously and I can find a way to get a service dog. I think it could save my life, and my marriage.

Please dont worry about "hijacking the thread" I enjoy the responses. I know exactly what you mean. I used to be a real social person. However, when i go somewhere I am constantly looking at peoples hands. If someone is walking up to me just to ask a question I immediatley start backing up (reactionary gap) I cant stand when people stand behind me in line at a store. I dont know h ow many times ive let people go ahead because they were just to darn close. I suffer a lot more stuff but thats all for now...

What we suffer is something that people frankly just dont understand. Most people would look at me crazy if i told them that during thunderstorms the loud thunder that rocks the house makes me shake, hyperventalating and brings me to tears. I used to LOVE thunderstorm. People just dont get what it is like to constantly live with this. To constantly live with the "movie like images flashign in your mind" about your experiences. What it is like to just not feel like yourself. The mood swings, the lack of interest in things. Ive talked me in just the past few messages to you than i have to anyone outside of my therapist.

It makes me sick to my stomach when i hear of people that want to just "claim PTSD when they get out" Makes my blood boil.

 

[Ted Moen]

Hey k-9 Al, I was medically retired for ptsd in 2001. They had been "suggesting" I cooperate with the process for a few years ... I enjoyed developing creative learning experiences for people in leadership positions who I perceived as more concerned about their own career development that the organization and their subordinates ... but I had my own career goals and really really really enjoyed going after the political croud

anyway, after an inpatient program I agreed to cooperate and while the va process and ssd process that follows were at times frustrating ... it has worked out well

the stigma goes away once you are medically retired and out of the system ... in todays world people are very supportive (not understanding, people on this list are understanding, but supportive)

welcome to the list

Ted

 

[Misera1013]

My husband had us join a bowling league. Well, before you begin the game you warm up by throwing some balls down the lane. I could only do it 2x before I had to go far away and sit down. I couldn't stand having so many people around me!!!

 

[K-9 Al]

Hey k-9 Al, I was medically retired for ptsd in 2001. They had been "suggesting" I cooperate with the process for a few years ... I enjoyed developing creative learning experiences for people in leadership positions who I perceived as more concerned about their own career development that the organization and their subordinates ... but I had my own career goals and really really really enjoyed going after the political croud

anyway, after an inpatient program I agreed to cooperate and while the va process and ssd process that follows were at times frustrating ... it has worked out well

the stigma goes away once you are medically retired and out of the system ... in todays world people are very supportive (not understanding, people on this list are understanding, but supportive)

welcome to the list

Ted

Ted what is SSD? I am just begining my medical board process. I have 6 bulging discs, my left leg goes numb all the time. I walk with a limp (sometimes i have to use a cane) and PTSD. They havent started an MEB because they are trying to fiqure out w hy my liver enzymes are high and why i have inflammation in my blood. However, i was told last week that they are only giving my provider 60 mroe days to fiqure it out. Come august my case is being sent. I already have been told numerous times I am not fit for service both physically and mentally.

 

[nomedic1]

Welcome k-9 Al hope we can help insome small way

 

[Tim &Bailey]

welcome bro, u need to call me. two reasons one i'm not that far away in NY and two i have had a SSD for two years now. we did all her training on our own. K-9 good citizen and public access. I'm still in lookin at MEB soonafter my 5th and final surgery, c-spine,arm,shoulder elbow and PTSD. the stigma thing sux but I just got to a point where I said fukm. I recently got approved to have Bailey with me on base as well. one thing I can say is "You are not alone!" the best therapy advances I have had have been since I been comming here a few months ago and started venting and helping other. You are amongst brothers and sisters in arms. SIt back un wind tell your story at your own pace. Maybe learn something or help a few out on the way. You are hear for a reason- Hell we all are. Check out psychdog.org if you haven't yet there is a lot of great info on there as well about the SSD and what all they can do. I know mine gave me a second lease on life. I wouldnt be hear talking right now if it wasn't for her.

Take care God bless.

Tim & Bailey