Undiagnosed Hello Everyone!

[BlueDragon]

So, here I am. I joined yesterday, after spending much of the day reading up on what I've experienced, which I can say without a doubt is 99.8% probably PTSD. I've been through quite a bit. I try to face everything with a positive attitude, but of late, I'm dealing with debilitating fear (irrational fear) and images in my head that I don't want to recall. I can't afford real therapy, so I figure this is a good place to start trying to help myself. I'm an open book, so ask away if there's anyone curious out there. And thanks to those who have already made me feel welcome!

 

[Silver.]

Thank you for posting here. I can understand not being able to afford therapy (they get downright expensive sometimes even with insurance). But even where I live (which is out in the country), the local hospital offers free group therapy, reduction in bills based on income etc. So it might be good for you to look into your area for things like that. We are a good group of people, with all sorts of backgrounds, but we're no substitution for a good therapist.
Have you talked to your primary doctor about your traumas, to get an official diagnosis? (When I finally found out all my diagnosis, there was a bit of relief, like..now I know what to research etc)
There are techniques for trying to overcome the fear, breathing exercises, CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), distraction etc.
Those things you could start working through on your own.
I am sorry for the reasons that brought you here, but glad that you found us and felt comfortable enough to reach out x

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Welcome to the forums :hug: I hope this place helps you. It's very useful because of the bulk amount of people who feel similar and understand. There is a lot of advice and support to be found here :) I hope that this amazing community helps you as much as it helped me, reading all the similar stories, and learning a lot along the way. Hugs if you accept :hug:

 

[BlueDragon]

Welcome to the forums :hug: I hope this place helps you. It's very useful because of the bulk amount of...

Thank you so much for the warm welcome!

 

[BlueDragon]

Thank you for posting here. I can understand not being able to afford therapy (they get downright expen...

My regular doc tells me I'm fine, and I don't need anything other than what I'm already taking. I'm in a very rural area, and I've checked into available help...but I can't miss work, and they are only available during the day. I've been hit with three major traumatic events since January, and it's taken a toll. But I'm ok...not great, but ok...thanks to amazing friends and being much much stronger than I should have to be.

I meditate regularly, practice deep breathing when I have a panic attack, and have friends who know everything that's gone on and will talk me down any time, day or night. This is just going to take time. The most recent events have come to a head this week, and I decided it's time to reach out in a safe environment for some extra support. :)

 

[trying2movefwd]

Hello and welcome

 

[Ka-9]

My regular doc tells me I'm fine, and I don't need anything other than what I'm already taking. I'm...

Welcome- I originally was told things would be fine as well, and I wan't at risk, so I kept working in the environment/unit for 5 more years, and it got bad enough they suddenly became very helpful lol. So don't let them brush you off...keep on them.

 

[EveHarrington]

Sounds like it might not be PTSD. It's possible to have trauma reactions which don't rise to the level of PTSD. It's not really a good idea to self diagnose.

Welcome to the forum. :)

 

[BlueDragon]

Sounds like it might not be PTSD. It's possible to have trauma reactions which don't rise to the...

I'm looking into more available options, even if they're not close to home. There has to be some help out there. It's my understanding that people who have experienced what I have often have PTSD. I'm not sure if it's ok to even say what happened here, or not, since I don't want to trigger anyone else.

 

[EveHarrington]

It's fine to say what happened here as we don't censor ourselves just to not trigger other people.

It's good to seek out a professional opinion as it's easy to self diagnose incorrectly. I had a recent experience with it (for a different disorder) and while I saw it as me having the disorder, my doc assured me that I didn't.

I don't know your story but when it comes to PTSD, the Internet is a double edged sword. There's lots of good info out there, but there's lots of bad info out there too. This is why it's imperative to seek professional help.

I just want to encourage a proper diagnosis as it will help you get on the right healing path. Assiming you have something that you may not could actually be detrimental to your health. :hug:

 

[BlueDragon]

It's fine to say what happened here as we don't censor ourselves just to not trigger other people...

Fair enough - no censorship it is. In February of this year, after a bad breakup, my husband committed suicide in our home. I found him. Since that time, I'm different. I'm terrified to be alone, I have night terrors, constant nausea and anxiety, and numerous other issues that I'm sure I'll think of later. I've lost almost 70 lbs since that time because I can't bring myself to eat. When I do, I vomit. Just this past Sunday, I finished moving out of the house where it happened - which I was forced to leave because of a legal issue regarding the land contract. I am exceptionally hopeful that getting out of that place is going to help me move forward. I feel like I've been drowning in fear since the day it happened. From what I've read - and I know, not a substitute for a real diagnosis - it's highly likely that people who find a loved one after suicide experience PTSD. Combine this with nearly dying 2 years ago, and other life experiences that have affected me throughout my adult life (rape, emotional and physical abuse from an ex husband, I'll spare the list...) and I'm fairly sure that I'm damaged. Not in a bad way, mind you, but definitely not factory condition.

 

[Deleted member 28403]

:hug:

Thats an awful load of crap to have happen