Hello From A Carer (warning: Contains Graphic Information)

[becvan]

So very relieved to hear that Shelley. :)

bec

 

[Froggie]

Hello Shelley_S and to your partner also. This is truly quite a story which leaves me in awe. Many members here have such outstanding stories that really hit the heart. I'm truly glad that you have found the forum ... not just for yourself, but for us also. This will help so many to grow and find strength. Has your partner considered joining the forum ? Or does she have enough to deal with with therapies and everything else ?

 

[BloomInWinter]

(((((Shelley)))))))

Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) and other dysfunctional families deals a lot with trauma now. They have free meetings all over the world, and the people in there have many similarities.

I highly suggest making it to their meetings with your sufferer. She will find lots of support, hope, and healing there.

Really, I do believe there is no 'recovery' without 'community' and while you have one here, building a network of support in the real world is essential. That is an excellent place to begin. You don't have to reveal who you are, or even talk...you can just go and listen.

But it's miraculous to meet so many others who have been ignored, abused, and maltreated by all manner of persons and systems and still...try to heal. Help each other heal. If nothing else...witness and and share pain.

...and when our members who under, we help each other as we are able.

 

[Shelley_S]

Hi Muse,

I think my partner would have so much to offer in the field of psychology and she does in fact have some training in counseling, but she quit just before she received her qualifications. She may go back and finish some day and I will certainly encourage her to do so, but I think that will be a long way down the track once she has effectively dealt with her own traumas.

I'm so pleased to hear that your friend found swimming with dolphins to be so beneficial for her. And how wonderful that she was approached by the same dolphin the second time around, even though much time had passed. I have had a similar experience with a group of wild dolphins in Shark Bay in Western Australia, where I studied them for a period of 6 months back in 2006. This particular group of dolphins gets hand-fed by tourists on a daily basis, seeing 200-300 different faces every day. I built up a relationship of trust with these dolphins, and every morning before the rangers came down to the interaction area they would hide behind me, out of reach of certain over-enthusiastic tourists. Anyway, the time came when I had to leave and I didn't make it back there for another 2 years. The very first morning I got down to the beach early before the rangers arrived, and the dolphins immediately positioned themselves behind me as if no time had passed at all. It was an incredibly humbling experience for me to realize that I had formed an enduring bond with them that transcended space and time.

All the best,
Shelley

 

[Shelley_S]

Hi Froggie,

How wonderful that sharing my partner's story here could help others to grow and find strength. She inspires me on a daily basis with her strength and determination.

We have discussed the possibility of her joining the forum as well, and she said it something she will certainly consider down the track, but for now she has enough to deal with her therapy and all the demons that has dredged up for her.

All the best,
Shelley

 

[Shelley_S]

Hello BloomInWinter,

Thank you so much for your suggestions regarding Adult Children of Alcoholics. I had a look at their website but unfortunately they don't currently have meetings here in South Australia.

Thankfully we already do have a great network of support already in place. Besides this forum, my partner has maintained contact with a handful of friends of hers from childhood who were subjected to much of the same kind of abuse as she was, growing up in the upper echelons of society where the perpetrators (judges, lawyers, surgeons, etc) were essentially 'above the law'. Those friends are the only people who can really relate to what she is going through and they are a wonderful support for her.

All the best,
Shelley

 

[Nicolette]

Welcome Shelley

I have been meaning to read your thread for a few days but have put it off and now with so many replies there is little which remains unsaid.

I echo all the words above and hope this forum can assist both you and your partner. I really feel for you and can only imagine how difficult it must be for both of you. What happened to your partner is horrific and I am not often left speechless. The fact that you have PTSD too makes for some understanding/empathy for the illness but also leads different obstacles to those who have a relationship where only one person has PTSD.

I wish you both well in your journey and I hope we can be a part of helping improve it for you.

 

[Shelley_S]

Hello Nicolette,

Thank you so much for your welcome and well wishes for me and my partner. She would like to extend her sincere thanks to you, and to all who have posted in this thread, for your kind words and support in what is an extremely difficult time for her at present. She said that just knowing there are people out there who care about what she is going through is giving her some much needed extra strength.

All the best,
Shelley

 

[blueangel371115]

Welcome to the forum. I agree with all the previous posts. My boydog has been a godsend as is this forum. Sometimes just being able to talk about it with others who went through similar things helps greatly. Best wishes.

 

[Shelley_S]

Thanks Blueangel!

I'm so glad you have your dog to help you through your trauma. My saviour, a Pembroke Welsh Corgi called Benjii, was there for me through 15 years of trauma. It's been two years since he passed away and not a day goes by that I don't think of him and all that he meant to me. I think I best summed it up on his epitaph, which reads, "Intricately woven into who I am is you, for you are my heart. I love you." It still brings a tear to think of that dog.

Best wishes to you in your journey,
Shelley

 

[blueangel371115]

(((Shelley))
Thank you for your best wishes. You also. I'd be lost without him. He saved my life.