Hello Out There

[Deleted member 9920]

Hi everyone,

I'm glad I found this group. My boyfriend is a 13 year Vet and I just dropped him off to enter the PTSD clinic. I know it's good for him, he's seen some pretty horrible things, (he was in Ruanda and Mogadishu during the Blackhawk down incident and the genecides). He has been coping with his past for a long time and lately started feeling survivors remorse because out of 38 soldiers in his troup he was the only survivor. Recently it was the anniversary of the SGT who saved his life and that's what made things bad.

I'm trying to be supportive, but MAN I miss him and HATE that he has to go through this program, (he'll be gone for a minimum of a month). He's the most wonderful caring man on the planet and I honestly don't know how he has lived with what he's seen/done for all these years. In my opinion he had NO CHOICE on what he had to do, but it haunts him. It also haunts him on how badly the military treated him after he broke his back in a 1,200 mile fall when his parachute didn't open.

Just wondering if anyone in this group had a boyfriend/husband who went through this program and how you handled the stress of knowing your man is going through some pretty heavy stuff.

Thanks and glad to be part of the group

Ammonsgirl

 

[Army_Brat_88]

Hi Ammonsgirl! I'm new to this family too. First of all, it's so great your guy is getting help. I wish I could tell you what the program is like, all I can do is say that I'll keep him in my thoughts. I just posted my situation the other day that I haven't heard from my bf in 4 months now - he's in, as he texted "a bad place". I don't even know if he's getting help because he won't talk to me. You want to talk about missing someone! I've had to wait through a year deployment, plus tack on those 4 months. If your guy has talked to you, that's awesome. He's in a better place than many. I want to make sure others understand what I didn't for so long - when they are in that dark place, and don't talk, DON'T force it. Not sure what you have and have not faced with him so far, maybe you've been lucky, because the word "stress" barely covers what I've been going through.

Read others' posts while he's gone to learn as much as you can. It's helped me tremendously.

 

[Deleted member 9920]

Hi Army_Brat, (like the name)

Why haven't you heard from your man? Where is he? Is he still overseas or is he in a program like my dude? Believe me, I NEVER asked Ammon about what he had done in the service...I come from a military family and NO ONE talked about the wars. Ammon opened up to me on his own and I'm the first girl he's ever opened up to, (and he was married twice). I'm sorry you haven't heard from your dude...I just talked to my guy and told him what you said...he said if he's still overseas it's not unusual, and if he's back home he might be having a really hard time with things he had to do and not to give up on him. It's hard on both us women who are with military men and the men/women serving. Your man must be young...it's probably more difficult for a young guy to deal with all this stuff that's going on overseas. These poor Vets...I love and respect every one of them. My guy just told me he went to a group meeting with a bunch of young and old Vets and it made him feel better because he didn't feel "alone"...I'm so happy he's there...it's just a selfish hard thing on me. My friends don't understand and basically tell me to be afraid of him because of his PTSD...bull...my Grandpa was in WW11 and I'm SURE he had it but back in the day it was called "shell shock". Talk to me whenever you want Army_Brat!!!

 

[Froggie]

Welcome to the forum Ammonsgirl. You did a great thing for yourself coming here. I'm a sufferer but there is a special section for carers. Many members here are either g/b friends to vets or married to them, those members will be able to give you some pretty good advice. Keep posting, as this will show how you care for yourself - soooo important for carers/supporters.