Just wanted to say hello, I'm a 2 time vet with the air national guard 05 OIF 10 OIF and beginning of new dawn, in 05 I took shrapnel to my forearm from a RPG at taji Iraq and I played it off for so long and pushed it to the back of my mind for years. But after the 10 deployment I came home and I've been on a downward spiral. I had my VA appointments and I am receiving benefits, but I feel I have been under diagnosed (lol I think that's right) as they said I just have anxiety not PTSD. I'm married with two kids who I love more than anything but its been brought to my attention that I take everything out on them and I'm withdrawn, like I'm here but not, if that makes sense. I was on anti-depressants and felt great but then my unit found out, and was told to get off them or get kicked out, and now I'm back to being pissed off and don't care about anything really but my wife and kids but again I take it out on them, and I think I'm going to lose them. I've been told to seek therapy but I'm having a hard time wanting/willing to go because I don't want someone on the other side of the table to judge me and who has no idea what we've been through. I found this site today and thought I would see what others have tried. Please any advice would help. Do I go back on the meds and throw away 12 yrs of service or do I stay off and try to figure this out some other way. Thanks