Sufferer Hello

[Janelle]

hi,
I have been dealing with what ads s to be "out of the nowhere" flashbacks and PTSD symptoms.
I was sexually abused by many "relatives" from age 8 until 13 then was gang raped at age 23 for 5 horrible hours. I went through therapy, suicidal gestures, etc when dealing with childhood stuff in the mid '90s but had blocked this out until recently when all over the news was the college rape trials and victims, etc.
I am a nurse and have to go to work everyday otherwise I only feel safe at home with my 2 dogs. My PCP has me on 40 Prozac daily and 1mg Xanax prn.
Granted, I am impatient and want this over in a hurry but I feel like I am coming apart!!

 

[BlueOrange]

What a horrible traumatic event :(

A psychotherapist who specializes in trauma is your best bet for a speedy and safe recovery. Treatment has improved dramatically in recent times, and the theory of Structural Dissociation has offered me a pathway to better-quality recovery than I previously thought possible, hopefully you'll also find it helpful and relevant.

I can relate to the 'coming apart' feeling, and the part of recovery where you 'survey the damage' can be really distressing. It's OK to be distressed by that experience, and it's a sign that you're engaging with yourself on an emotional level. As a nurse, you probably understand that 'first contact with the truth' is routinely difficult, but also important. Please be as gentle to yourself as you would be to any other patient.

 

[watundah]

Hi Janelle.
It's hard to know how to feel when these flashbacks seem to.come out of no where.
Are you familiar with self soothing exercises, grounding, and so on?
Are you considering returning to therapy?
You have found a good place here to express your struggle and find some healing words.
Wishing you peace.

 

[trying2movefwd]

Sorry to hear you have experienced so much trauma. Everyone here is supportive as well as encouraging and informative. Welcome to the forums. We are here for each other. Blessings toward your healing journey.

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome! :)

 

[Deleted member 28403]

Welcome to the forums :hug: I hope this place helps you. It's very useful because of the bulk amount of people who feel similar and understand. There is a lot of advice and support to be found here :) I hope that this amazing community helps you as much as it helped me, reading all the similar stories, and learning a lot along the way. Hugs if you accept :hug:

 

[Ka-9]

Warm Welcome here Janelle, appreciate your courage in sharing.