Sufferer Helloo - Therapy Is Helping

[freespirit13]

Hello,
I am from the U.K ...I was diagnosed with severe p.t.s.d...Last year... after years and years (14 years to be precise) .. of being misdiagnosed and brushed off !!! ...I have been seeing my current therapist for nearly a year now ...and she is a great help ...ups and downs within my journey....but i am finally beginning to reclaim my life back after living in a bubble for years and years and have more understanding and patience for myself ...to be kind to me ...I lived in fear for years and years ....felt threatened in every day situations ....trusting people...How could any one love me...control ,punished,negative,numb ....Didn't really live in the real world ... Still don't to some extent but i am getting better ...although up and down at the moment...due to some recent memories which wasn't very nice ...
Hope you are all well :) ...Didn't know what to write and i have a tendency to ramble on and on ...something i also need to learn lol .

 

[marylouise]

Congratulations @freespirit13 on your recovery. Hope it can continue with the help of the forum. Welcome!

 

[Deleted member 20280]

@freespirit13 welcome to the MyPtsd family. You will find lots of support here.

Santa_:hug:s if you accept them.

Laurie

 

[freespirit13]

Thank you :) .....Slowly but surely starting to recognize.....All the things that i thought was keeping me safe ...weren't ...How weird is that? ..Starting to see all the learnt behavior and safety behavior (hard to breakthat) ....and I'm not going mad ...when the anxieties and panic comes .... Will keep fighting and never give up ...It has ruled my life and my heart was hollow and dead inside ...i am learning that i am some one, i am not worthless and i need to slow down and give myself a break ...It has only been with the right therapist and to be honest i never thought i would improve but she seems to be working her magic lol...although with the trust issue i have ..i find myself questioning her ....and over thinking/analyzing it ...which i have also got to stop lol :)

 

[joeylittle]

Welcome!

It's so easy to feel like you're going out of your mind with this disorder. Finding this site and being able to read the stories of others feeling just like I was has been such a great addition to my life - I hope it's much the same for you.

 

[JEKBreatheandBelieve]

Welcome to the site.

 

[intothelight]

@freespirit13 Welcome to the forum! :)

It is good that you found a therapist that is helpful and I hope you find the information and support here beneficial.

 

[anthony]

Welcome to MyPTSD @freespirit13, and I think many of us ramble at times.

 

[freespirit13]

Thank you for your kind welcomes....Having a down day today ....Just come back off holiday ...I have issues with eating out/eating food that isn't prepared by myself (due too being spiked) ...As i have been told by my therapist that i have to keep eating out ...I did manage it 3 times...The anxiety /being on high alert certainly made its appearance ...the first time eating out and i thought i was going to be sick and have to run out of there ...my head was scrambled to say the least ...but i managed to have that battle in my head and stay there ...the 2nd and 3rd time ....was ok ...i did quite enjoy it ...strangely enough..and i didn't make any excuses not to go there ...So i think the therapist does have a point, the more you keep repeating and putting yourself in those kind of situations does seem to help ....for years i would make every excuse not to do anything ..now i am thinking ok ...i can do this ...but i do have to remember baby steps...It's like putting your toe in the water ...just to test if it's ok . .........Hope every one is well :)