Relationship Help Me

[Tinyflame]

Oh @Josh4757 , I didn't mean to infer you 'need' it (therapy), I meant perhaps it gives you better understanding (your own trauma(s)/ life & your therapy does). :)

 

[Josh4757]

@Junebug It's perfectly okay. I took no offense.

How do you see my relationship turning out?

 

[Tinyflame]

Oh my @Josh4757 , if I had the ability to know the future I would buy a lotto ticket! :)

I can only say, if I look back, I am very relieved at who I didn't choose to marry. But similarly, considering how I've been the last few years (& didn't see it coming at all), if someone loved me as you love your gf it would have put them through hell. Not sure if I could have withstood that.

However, if it is based on how well you are (already) doing together now, & the determination you have, that's a wonderful, sound start.

All we have is 'now' Josh. The trouble with ptsd is it's hard to be fully alive & engaged in the 'now'.

 

[shimmerz]

@Josh4757, I think it is important here for you to breath. A person with PTSD needs someone who is grounded. Calm. Not frantic. I get the 'I don't want to be around because I will hurt you' thing. I did that with my SO. He said, 'I am good'. And he is. Calm. Steady. That helps me a ton. So, he guides me the best he can, steadies me when I feel rocky and absolutely let's me know that I am not hurting him. Your 'frantic' right now shows hurt (imho). Can you settle that down? Show you are good. If you can't do that - you don't want to be a supporter. It will hurt you. Again, jmho. I wish you all the best.

 

[digger]

Josh, do you mind me asking what age you are?

I agree with others that it's great that you want to be there for this girl, but you seem so frantic to get it right in your posts and for answers that people here aren't really going to be able to give you. You've started three posts, all pretty much saying and asking the same things - I'm wondering if you feel there is something missing in the responses you're getting that you really want to hear?

Your (ex?) girlfriend (I'm not really sure what you mean by hiatus) is the best person to ask about what she needs from you - be prepared for that not being swamped with the support you want to shower on her though. The fact that she wanted a break from the relationship says to me that she 'might' not cope so well with that.

Take the time to sit down with her and ask what she wants from you right now.

Do you still have a therapist for yourself? If so it would be good to talk some of this over with them.