Undiagnosed Help please. bullying & ocd & panic disorder

[Casey_03]

And for the record -- yes, anxiety can make you think you saw someone who is the root of your anxiety, when it actually wasn't that person at all. Absolutely. So I'd say it's pretty likely it wasn't her, just someone who resembled her.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I felt panic definitely. Different from my other attacks but I felt fast heart rate and dissociation. Th...

You feel panicky and that is normal, but you are in control of you. Take some deep breaths. Count in to 4, hold for 4 and release. Know that your anxiety is normal and will pass. Accept that it is a natural reaction to what happened. You will be fine. Keep breathing. You will be okay!

 

[odette]

The really terrible thing about bullying is that it makes the victims feel entrapped in this tiny worl...

You are so right. Logically, this makes sense..but the other side is illogic

And for the record -- yes, anxiety can make you think you saw someone who is the root of your anxiety,...

Yes, I want so badly to believe this..but I saw her look away and in my mind that meant she knows me.. she wore a cap, like the girl usually does..I'm so confused.. I regret not letting my sister stay to see if it was her, I was so caught off guard. If I saw her and she didn't see me I would panic but not as bad. But the person saw me so I'm feeling disgusted and paranoid.

 

[odette]

Thank you all so much for your advice. I am glad I can speak to people. I also have OCD like symptoms, so I have a fear and a lot of what if? Anxiety. I fear losing control and not being in reality, I fear having a flashback. I fear going outside ( I was diagnosed with agoraphobia). Also, I constantly seek reassurance, so I repeatedly ask whether something was true or not..which I'm doing now...I want to say sorry if I am overbearing. I am at high level anxiety.

 

[Suzetig]

The thought of suicide is causing me panic, what if I can't cope

Ok, you know that part of your way of processing things is to obsess a bit (the very nature of OCD). So you know you need to pick through this and ruminate on it for it to settle - and it will eventually settle. If you know this is part of what you do, you know you're just working through it - so coping with it, although I know it might not feel like you're coping right now.

If you know it's what you do, you can a) let yourself go through the process of panicking, seeking support while you panic and ruminate, b) use strategies like distraction e.g. exercise, journaling, meditation to bring yourself out of the rumination process c) fight the whole process of rumination and obsession by giving yourself a hard time for doing it, tell yourself you're wrong it must be unwell or disordered and spiral into another panic (panicking about panicking). I'd suggest the first option would be the gentlest on yourself - letting yourself go through the process of obsessing will get it over with and let you settle quicker. And you have support here if you need it.

 

[odette]

Ok, you know that part of your way of processing things is to obsess a bit (the very nature of OCD). So...

thank you, logical thinking..but when I'm like this I can't think but yes you are right

 

[Suzetig]

It feels like you can't think, but you are thinking. You knew you were anxious, spoke to your sister and found this site - all signs that you were thinking. If you're able to identify steps you take to seek support and find a way through it, you'll reinforce the part of you that can seek help when you need it and that process will become stronger. If you keep telling yourself it's all out of control, that part will become stronger.

A starting point might be a bit of both, so something like "this feels out of control and I'm very anxious and distressed, and I've been able to ask for help and explain my process so that other people can understand and help me".

 

[odette]

It feels like you can't think, but you are thinking. You knew you were anxious, spoke to your sister an...

Yes, I usually panic and seek reassurance which lessens the anxiety..until I am left alone with thoughts then the anxiety/irrational part forces me to get anxious all over again. Reading through forums makes me feel good, but like I said..the OCD/general anxiety is making me feel like it truly happened and something is wrong and things will nevertheless be right..

 

[odette]

I am now so afraid of sleeping. I fear I will have a nightmare or a disturbing dream. I am supposed to go out now I am too afraid. i wonder if medication will make this go away, but I have yet another irrational fear I will be compelled to kill Myself due to side effects of antidepressants and I fear it won't work..

 

[Suzetig]

until I am left alone with thoughts then the anxiety/irrational part forces me to get anxious all over again

So this is the bit that is hard work, finding ways to slow down your thinking so that the irrational thoughts don't spiral out of control.

Different things work for different people but it would be worth looking at mindfulness meditation - it takes a lot of practice but can help you get to a place where you're able to recognise the obsessive thoughts, notice them and let them pass by. Something like the headspace or calm apps would teach you how to do this. Or try journaling or allow yourself X amount of time to let your thoughts run riot but know that at the end of X amount of time you're going to go and do something active or absorbing and not think about it any more. Or set your phone to record and speak out loud all the thoughts you're having, verbalise it all and listen back at a time when you're calmer and can challenge the irrational thoughts and put plans in place to deal with the actual thing that's bothering you.

It'll take active work from you - and I know you're working with a therapist - but you can come through this.

 

[odette]

So this is the bit that is hard work, finding ways to slow down your thinking so that the irrational th...

Wait how do you know that? About my therapist? (Maybe my paranoia!) everything you are saying is correct, right now I am in full panic mode but if this feeling subsides I have saved your replies for a later date when I am ok/well enough to try those techniques

 

[Suzetig]

No, I'm really sorry. You said you had OCD and I thought I'd read you had a therapist (which would make sense with OCD) but you didn't say that. So that was an assumption on my part - I should have read more carefully.

Try to get some rest, it's ok if you don't sleep, maybe lie down, listen to some music, an audio book or something?